Poise.

Poise

Poise.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Poise.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.”

― P.G. Wodehouse, Uneasy Money

“Always behave like a duck- keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like the devil underneath.”

― Jacob Braude

“When the odds are hopeless, when all seems to be lost, then is the time to be calm, to make a show of authority – at least of indifference”

― Ian Fleming, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

Who drinks and how much? Alcohol Video Part 3.

Find video on Substance use disorders

Who drinks and how much? Alcohol Ed Part 3.

Why your problems never end.

By David Joel Miller.

Problems time travel

Do your problems follow you around?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How come problems never end?

Doesn’t it seem like no matter what you do you have another problem? Some people think that life is nothing but a “veil of tears.” Have you started to feel like no matter what you do another challenge will be headed your way before you take a breath? Some people attribute their constant problems to bad luck or something wrong with them, but the truth is humans tend to view the world in a cognitively biased way. When you look at the world through dirty glasses, everything appears filthy.

We keep moving the goalposts – concept creep.

The closer you look at things, the more flaws you’re likely to see. From a distance, the lawn looks beautiful, but when you get close, you begin to see the weeds. Once you have defined what a weed is, the more weeds you will locate. Roughly a hundred years ago you wouldn’t find the word allergy in the dictionary. Once we created the idea, there was such a thing as an allergy more and more people have discovered they are allergic to more and more things.

When people lived far apart in rural areas what you did in your own home was pretty much your own business. The closer people live together the more laws have been enacted. The more laws we have, the more crime have.

This process of first identifying a problem and then finding more and more examples of similar issues has been going on long enough that we now have a name for this phenomenon, these constantly expanding definitions can be called “concept creep.”

More issues become mental illnesses, milder cases become disorders.

At one time there were only two types of mental illnesses, psychosis, and neurosis. Neurosis was just the everyday problems of life. Psychosis was a term for people who were thought of as “crazy.” Psychotic people were locked away in a mental sanitarium. Today we have medication, and we have treatment.

Where once someone had to be so severely depressed they couldn’t hold a job or maintain a relationship to receive a diagnosis of depression, we now recognize that major depressive disorder can come in severities from mild to moderate to severe. I see people with mild forms of mental illness who absolutely needed help to get their lives back. But as we recognize more and more varieties and intensities of mental illness, the list has gone from one serious mental illness that needed hospitalization to hundreds of types that require treatment.

When the problems look unsolvable, anything is progress.

Many people in America have financial problems. Up to two-thirds of all Americans are either in debt on credit cards or have so little money in the bank that if they are car broke down they couldn’t pay for the repairs. When you’re without savings or in credit card debt, becoming financially solvent looks like an overwhelming obstacle.

People who undertake getting out of debt may start by creating a small savings account. For others, financial health means paying down credit card debt. Months or even years later that goal of reducing debt becomes paying the charge cards off. The initial goal of saving 100 dollars becomes saving $1,000. Notice that people with lots of money still believe they need more to feel secure.

When crimes go down, neighbors call about “suspicious people.”

Many people are reluctant to call the police unless they’re the ones who have been victimized. There are still neighborhoods where nobody wants to call the police. To offset this lack of people caring about each other some areas instituted community watches. Initially, this can help the police prevent or solve crimes. Recently however we have seen people who are calling the police about all kinds of marginal issues. Be careful not to let your lawnmower get over onto the neighbor’s grass, or you may get the police called on you.

Find the purple dot – when there are no purple dots the blue ones get picked.

Psychologists attempted to see how well people can distinguish significant things. They would show them pictures of various colored dots. If you show people blue dots, purple dots, and green dots and tell them to keep track of how many purple dots they do well. But if you ask them the same thing but this time show them only the blue and green dots many people think that they saw a certain number of purple dots. Or put another way if they must press a computer key when they see a purple dot on the screen but are shown no purple dots they began pressing that key when shown the blue dots.

When the quality gets better things that used to pass get rejected.

People study quality control issues have discovered that as the quality on an assembly-line gets better things that used to pass get rejected. Rather than being able to identify poor quality items inspectors tend to pick a certain fixed percentage to reject.

Big depends on the last thing you looked at.

Humans have a cognitive bias to describe things as big or small by comparison to the object they looked at just before it. Show them several very tiny items, and suddenly the coin appears large. Show them a lot of car parts, and that coin looks small.

Food looks like more on a small plate.

The same amount of food on two different size plates is perceived differently. If you want to cut down on the amount of food you eat, use smaller plates. If you want kids to eat more give them larger plates. The same thing happens with problems. When you don’t have much everything can become a problem.

Given all these cognitive biases is it any wonder that no matter how many problems you solve you will still identify some of the things in your life as problems?

The way we perceive problems determines how many problems we have.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Peace.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Peace begins with a smile.”

― Mother Teresa

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”

― Albert Einstein

“If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.”

― John Lennon

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

Learning About Alcohol Part 2 – Video

Find video on Substance use disorders

Why do people drink alcohol? When does alcohol consumption become a problem?

Memorial Day.

Post by David Joel Miller.

Veterans.

Memorial Day.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Memorial Day.

“As a nation, we began by declaring that ‘all men are created equal.’ We now practically read it ‘all men are created equal, except negroes.’ When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read ‘all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.’ When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”

― Abraham Lincoln, Lincoln Letters

“America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”

― Abraham Lincoln

“Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves”

― Abraham Lincoln, Complete Works – Volume XII

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

Responsibility.

Responsibility.

Responsibility.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Responsibility.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“In dreams begin responsibilities.”

― William Butler Yeats, Responsibilities

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

― Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents

“A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions but by his inaction, and in either case, he is justly accountable to them for the injury.”

― John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

Free Mystery Book – Today Only

Today Only – Casino Robbery – An Arthur Mitchell and his dog Plutus Mystery – Kindle edition is free on Amazon.

Casino Robbery 

Arthur survives being shot in the casino robbery, but someone still wants him dead.
He can’t forget seeing his fiancée die in the robbery. Plagued by recurring nightmares, unable to return to the casino, he retires to a small town where he buys a roadside second-hand store and a double-wide trailer. Then he learns his fiancée had a troubled past full of secrets and someone is trying to kill him to keep those secrets out of the public eye.
This fictional book was originally written in 2016 as part of the NaNoWriMo competition and was one of the winners. Sadly, the traumas of mass shootings have increased recently. This book explores one person’s efforts to cope with his PTSD and to find a “why” that satisfies him.

Learning About Alcohol Part 1 – Video

Find video on Substance use disordersAlcohol seems to be everywhere but how much do you really know about it? When does alcohol use become a problem?

When should you give up?

By David Joel Miller.

Quitting

Quitting.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Should you give up or keep going?

You read a lot of advice that tells you to never give up. But I think we’ve all seen people who continue doing something which never had a chance of success. I notice a lot of people starting businesses full of hope, and over time they pour everything they had into that business only to lose everything. We also see people who gave up just before success could have happened. How do you decide when to persevere and when to give up?

People don’t like to quit but sometimes quitting is the smart thing to do.

I recently came across a Seth Godin book titled “The Dip” that talked about precisely this dilemma. There are several reasons you might have to choose between continuing and giving up.

In the beginning, you don’t know what’s ahead.

Many people get themselves into something, a job, a career, or a relationship, without knowing what’s ahead. That can be the result of not researching your planned course of action or not spending the time to get to know the person you’re getting involved with. A change of path can also happen because situations in the world have changed.

Many things sound a lot easier and more enjoyable than they actually are. Being a rock star musician is a common fantasy. But unless you really love playing your instrument and performing in front of people, trying to make it to the top can be a painful path. Being a rock star looks attractive, but the thousands of hours of practice and the long stretches of playing one-night stands in small clubs deters a lot of would-be rock stars.

Quit when the things you must do, don’t match your values.

It is imperative that you be clear about your values. Sometimes you start on something only to discover that what you’ll have to do will not be consistent with your values. In that situation, many people compromise their values. Sometimes it pays to re-examine your beliefs. But if what you will have to do does not match your core values it’s time to give up the pursuit of that goal and headed in a different direction.

When your approach stops working you should change tactics.

No matter how well thought out plan was, if it doesn’t work it’s not the right plan. Many people invest so much pursuing something they want that they find it impossible to give up the pursuit of that goal even when they know what they’re doing won’t work. Working longer and harder won’t help if you are using the wrong approach.

It’s time to change when you are putting more in than you’re getting back.

We never seem to have all the information we need before starting on a project. If you find that the cost of reaching your goal will be more than you have or more than that goal is worth, it is time to change your plan. Many people succumb to the sunken cost fallacy. They tell themselves I put so much into this that I must keep going. What you put into it in the past is irrelevant. Past efforts and past expenditures are gone. What’s important is how much more will you have to put in and will the result be worth the additional investment.

Abandon a course when it’s not taking you where you want to go.

Sometimes life’s maps turn out to be inaccurate or missing details. If you set off in one direction and discovered that the effort you’re putting in is not taking you where you want to go, don’t keep wandering in the wrong direction. People can spend their whole lives saying that they’re working to make money so that someday they’ll be able to do what they want. Unfortunately, far too often people run out of life before they make the change and headed in the direction they wanted to go. For many things, the journey will take you a long time, don’t wait too long to begin heading in the right direction.

Are there things in your life you need to re-examine? What goals should you abandon and what will you need to dedicate yourself to?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel