Tag Archives: David Miller LMFT LPCC

Overcoming anxiety by computer

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Computer

Internet.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Treating anxiety by Computer.

There is an interesting new study on an experimental treatment for anxiety using an interactive computer program. The study, done in Israel and partially funded and conducted by U. S. researchers looked at treating teenagers for anxiety using a new computerized treatment. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health diagnoses in America and approximately 25% of teens are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at some point in their teenage years.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is commonly used to treat anxiety disorders and has been shown to be especially successful at reducing anxiety symptoms. About 70% of the time CBT reduces or eliminates anxiety symptoms in children and teens. Unfortunately, CBT treatment is not available to all the teens that need it. Without therapy, the only alternatives are medications, which may have strong and permanent side effects or letting the child suffer untreated. Most adults who suffer from anxiety disorders first experienced the symptoms as children or teens but the symptoms when untreated or undertreated.

Why factors might explain why CBT helps only 70% of those who go for therapy? How can we explain that a computer program worked to treat anxiety disorders?

People with anxiety disorders unconsciously pay more attention to threatening things than non-anxious people. Paying attention to threats and having some anxiety is protective when you are in a dangerous situation. The problem for chronic anxiety sufferers is that they pay too much attention to threats in situations that are not that threatening. People with anxiety disorders have difficulty moving their focus from a potential threat to another non-threatening item.

Now this problem of focusing on the negative is not limited to anxiety provoking things. The same principle has turned out to be effective for treating chronic pain and depression. People with chronic pain are extra attuned to their pain. They tend to focus on the pain to the exclusion of everything else.

When people with chronic pain are taught to focus on other things, pleasant positive things and they learn techniques to shift their focus from the pain to something positive they report the pain is reduced or eliminated. When you are having fun you forget your pain if only for a moment. This ability to shift focus also may explain why laughter and jokes are also an effective treatment for reducing symptoms of many common mental health problems.

Reducing symptoms is not the same as a permanent cure. But not having anxiety or pain even for a while is a great thing. And the more the symptoms are reduced the more likely you will be able to live with your condition. Recovery from many conditions does not mean completely eliminating the problem. Recovery may mean for some people an improvement in their quality of life.

We have known that thinking has a huge impact on feelings for a very long time. People with a negative bias, they think everything about themselves, the world, and the future is bad, are more likely to be depressed.

So if you are anxious, depressed, or in a lot of pain and your current treatment is not helping, consider working on changing the things you focus on. Working with a good counselor or therapist can help you learn to shift focus. So can a good self-help book.  However, you learn the techniques you will need to practice shifting your focus from the negative problem-based view to the positive recovery and resiliency point of view. My thought is that the computer-based system helped people with excess anxiety because it included a lot of practice at changing their focus in a short period of time. Even without the computer program, the more you practice shifting your attention the better you can become about changing the way you look at things.

The full article on the computer based anxiety treatment experiment is available at the NIMH site.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2012/computer-based-treatment-eases-anxiety-symptoms-in-children.shtml

Try this experiment, try shifting the things you pay attention to and see if your anxiety, pain, or depression shrinks. If you do this experiment leave a comment on this blog and let the rest of us know how it worked out.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Does drinking lite beer keep you from getting drunk?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Man drinking

Drinking beer.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Can you avoid alcohol problems by drinking lite and non-alcoholic beers?

The question of drinking lite beers and drinking so-called “non-alcoholic” beers comes up frequently. People who have had problems with alcohol in the past consider switching to these alternatives to reduce the risks. Does this work?

Personally and professionally I do not recommend an approach of limited alcohol consumption to anyone who has experienced a problem with their use of substances in the past. If you have had drunk driving arrests, been diagnosed with substance abuse or dependence, or have other psychiatric problems that are affected by alcohol consumption trying to solve the problem by changing to other alcoholic beverages is not likely to work. Why? There are two major problems with this approach.

Lite beers do not contain less alcohol.

The percentage of alcohol in a beer is usually set by state or local law. In California, for a long time, “beer” had to be under 4% alcohol. (I am not a lawyer and can’t tell you if this changed but the principle remains the same.) In other places, beer could have a higher alcohol content say 5% or 6%. Above that limit it can be sold, just the name changes and so does the tax rate.

I checked an online list of beers and their alcohol contents and they mostly ran in the 4% to 6% range. One popular beer Budweiser was listed as having 5% alcohol. Bud Light was listed as having 4.2%. So the difference is small and in places, with lower limits both would have the same amount of alcohol.

Lite beers have fewer calories not less alcohol. So you do not get as full and you can drink more. Whether you drink lite beers or regulars – after four or five you will be legally drunk.

Watch out for the dangers of binge drinking.

Drinking lite beers do not keep you sober! Only not drinking keeps the alcohol out of your system. Any alcohol consumption begins to change your thinking; the difference is how much it affects you not if it will affect you.

Even “nonalcoholic beers” can contain some alcohol.

The online chart I consulted lists “nonalcoholic” Beer as having four-tenths of a percent alcohol. So this should be safer. In my experience, it is not. After four or five “non-alcoholic” beers the minimal amounts begin to add up. The cumulative effect is a change in thinking.

For anyone with an alcohol use disorder, the danger here is that after drinking a number of “non-alcoholic” beers they will begin to reason that they can have one or two real ones without a problem.

As any real alcoholic will tell you “one is too many and a thousand is never enough.”

So if you have developed an alcohol problem or if you are taking a prescribed medication that tells you to avoid alcohol, my advice to you is – don’t fool yourself by trying to find ways to use alcohol safely.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Unhappy Relationships

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Couple not talking

Unhappy relationship.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

The most important issues in our lives are our relationships.

Unhappy relationships bring more people to counseling and therapy than any other issue.  Relationship issues sent more people to psychiatric hospitals than all the other causes of emotional turmoil. That need for connection to other humans underlies all human activity. If having a good relationship is so important to a happy life, why is it such a difficult thing for us to do?

When we say relationship issues most people think first and sometimes only, about romantic, sexual relationships. Type a question about relationships into most any search engine and you will be taken forthwith to a dating site. As important as this relationship is to most of us, it is not the only or the most important relationship we might have. Many people rely on the romantic relationship and fail to develop another more important relationship – their connection with themselves.

Humans, like most vertebrates, begin life with our primary relationship being our relationship with our parents. Sometimes this is one parent sometimes two; sometimes the primary caregiver is a non-biological person. That first relationship sets the pattern for the rest of our relationships. We store a blueprint away in our brain and often we keep reproducing that first primary relationship in every human connection we have afterward. Just because that relationship is good or bad does not control the quality of all relationships afterward. We can learn new patterns of relating to others.

Our early years are spent developing relationships beyond that one close caregiver we are so dependant on. Children who have unreliable or impaired caregivers find it difficult to develop functional relationships with others in their lives. Their blueprints for life have smudges and missing lines where things they should have learned about relationships were left out. Sometimes the lines were drawn incorrectly such as when the primary caregiver abuses or neglects the child. In those situations, we may begin to think that things are normal and acceptable even when they are severely dysfunctional.

Even when the primary caregiver does a good job of meeting a child’s needs the person may get some of the lessons wrong. As a therapist I spend a lot of time helping people correct these blueprints, sort out the things they learned that are not so and we look for missing parts of that life blueprint, the lessons not learned.

Beyond the first lessons with that original caregiver, most of us learn by relating to others. The first five or so years are spent with close family, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and other relations. Eventually, there will be relationships with non-relatives, friends, and neighbors.  Some of these relationships will be helpful, some will not.

During our school years, we might learn some lessons from teachers and other unrelated adults, most often we learn from peers. Those other kids our own age that were struggling to grow up and find their way in life taught us lessons even when they didn’t know the answers. Many of our likes and dislikes our habits and needs were formed at this stage. We rarely look back to examine the changes to the life blueprint during those years. Not until part of our structure collapses in divorce, addiction or a relationship failure do we have a reason to check our life blueprint.

The relationship most of us neglect is that one relationship which we should pay the most attention to – our relationship with ourselves. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you will be there. Do you like yourself? Would you want you for a best friend? Make friends with yourself. Spend time getting to know you. Learn to treat yourself the way you would want others to treat you. Become your own best friend.

So often when we are sad, depressed, or anxious we crave a good fulfilling relationship. Often we reach out for another human, thinking that if we just found that one person that could love us enough, then we would be healed. That seems to only work in fiction. Two sick people do not make for a healthy relationship. To have a healthy happy relationship you need two healthy people. So before you go looking for a partner to fill in the missing pieces of your soul consider first getting to know yourself and become your own best friend.

Having children for the sake of making you happy all too often results in short-term pleasure and long-term unhappiness. Sex and drugs are not a substitute for a happy inside. There are too many people who grew up in homes where their parent’s never learned to be happy and where they inherited the family blueprint for dysfunctional living, that constant search for something outside of yourself that will make you happy.

Before you begin your search for that one special person to fill your life, please work on the relationship with that one special person you already know – you.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Finding happiness or misery

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Counselorssoapbox.com

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

You get what you look for. Sounds simple, but this basic principle has a huge impact on how happy we are. Take two couples one happy and the other miserable – what is the difference?

Couple one, let’s call then Bob and Sue, for no particular reason. Bob complains that Sue nags him. She never likes the tie he wears. Nothing he ever does is good enough. Sue is sure that Bob doesn’t love her. He never wants to spend time with her. He is always too busy with his job and his studies for his night class to spend time with her. Sue says the only time Bob does things around the house is when she nags him, he always puts off taking the garbage out until the last possible moment. She has to keep at him because he will put off taking out the trash until bedtime if she doesn’t keep on him.

The couple next door, let’s call them Juan and Ann, again for no special reason. Juan says he is so happy in his relationship. Ann is always trying to be helpful. She wants him to be successful and look his best. She is so helpful; she even makes suggestions for which tie will make him look his best. Ann tells me she is so happy to be with Juan. He works so hard to provide for the family. He is even taking a night class to help improve their income. Juan is so helpful around the house, Ann says, sometimes she has to remind him because he is so busy, but he always gets the trash out before he goes to bed.

Now Bob and Sue are sure that their neighbors are very nosy, always minding other people’s business. When the family came to visit that old busybody across the street came over and demanded to know who was there. Sometimes that woman brings over food in an effort to get into the house and spy on them. They have had to tell the neighbors several times to mind their own business. This town is so hostile. The other day one of the people up the street followed Sue all over the grocery store.

Juan and Ann report they feel so safe in their neighborhood. They have a neighborhood watch. One time when Ann’s parents came for a visit, Mrs. Smith across the street came over to check who was going into their house. She almost called the police on Ann’s family. Mrs. Smith brought over a cake she had baked for the family to enjoy. Ann and Juan feel so safe knowing that the people on their street will keep an eye on their house when they are not home. It is such a friendly town. Last week they went shopping and ran into Mrs. Smith in the market. She was going one way and Ann was going the other, they must have run into her ten times that day. They had a good laugh that they just couldn’t stay away from each other.

Why is the experience of these two couples, who live just a few houses apart so different? One couple loves their town and their marriage and the other is miserable. Two important happy life principles are at work here. First, the happy couple has a happy positive belief about the way they are, the way the world is, and how the future will turn out. This illustrates the principle that beliefs about things, not the things themselves create our feelings. But no matter what you believe, life experiences will impact your beliefs and feelings. Both couples have a bias in their thinking.

We call this bias confirmatory bias. If you think your spouse is uncaring or lazy you will watch the things they do and pick out the things that confirm your belief as proof you were right. It is a natural human tendency to look for things that will make us right and to ignore or discard the things that might force us to change our minds.

Happy couples see things their partner does and interpret them as positive. Unhappy couples can find plenty of proof that their partner is unloving and uncaring. Now we know there are bad relationships and uncaring or dishonest people out there. But if you enter a relationship expecting your partner to make you happy they are likely to. If you go into a relationship with the expectation your partner will mistreat you then you will find lots of “proof” for that also.

Much of our news fits this pattern also. Two people hear the same economic report, one sees things in the report to say that the economy is improving; the other person sees things to prove that the economy is getting worse.  Political speeches and debates especially demonstrate this principle. If you are strongly in favor of a candidate you will think they made a great speech. If you dislike that same candidate you will find something in the speech to seize upon and “prove” that person is unfit for public office. If you are wrong about a candidate for office you can complain about them until the next election. If you live with someone it is a bigger problem.

Sometimes it pays to challenge those beliefs. Is your spouse really being uncaring or unloving or do you look for the faults and miss the positive things they really did do for you?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Wall Street is crazy!

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Mental Health or Mental Illness

Mental Health or Mental Illness?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Have you noticed that Wall Street has gone crazy?

Not the prices or the up and down of the market, more the way they are talking. I used to think all the “loony tunes” were in Washington. Have they moved to Wall Street?

Have you noticed they keep stealing our words – depression, schizophrenia even bipolar have turned into market terms.

I noticed it the other day. I was looking for articles on Major Depressive Disorder. Every article I came up with was about the economy. Suddenly depression is about a slow economy and not about a mental illness. Who do they think they are fooling?

With the exception of the “Great Depression” of 1929 past economic slowdowns were not called depressions. Even that one got the term because of the widespread sadness in the country as a result of the economic slowdown.

I even got a nasty comment on my blog, which I did not approve thank you very much, from a broker who was upset that we called sadness – depression. He did not like the idea that people could be sad. Investments – yes. People – no.

I read about the “occupy movement.” I can understand why they might want to occupy some places. Anyone for occupying Hawaii? But really guys – why occupy Wall Street? Would you occupy a VD clinic? Aren’t you afraid of catching something while on Wall Street? Something for which there is no treatment?

Let me remind those financial types that business slowdowns used to be called “Commercial Revulsions.” Look it up on Wikipedia if you doubt me. The idea was that purchasers became repulsed by the goods offered for sale. If you have looked at some of the cheap, tacky stuff in your local “Walleye World Store” or the “Cheaper Than a Buck Place” you would know what I mean. Some of that stuff makes me sick. In fact, I got so “commercially revulsed” that I wanted to vomit.

After “Commercial Revulsion” some smart ad man went to calling these downturns “Panics” they had a whole bunch of “Panics” up until our financial leaders decided that having a biannual “Panic” might not be good for consumer confidence.

We called them recessions off and on but that designation got to be so watered down we were having annual rescissions every time some retailer did not make a profit projection. So this time around they decided to borrow some mental health terms to explain why so many people are out of work and sad. In therapy we call these problems “Adjustment Disorders,” so far Wall Street hasn’t stolen that name. They are not used to adjusting to anything that is not their way but give them time.

We also used to have lots of bubbles. Remember the South Sea Bubble? (See Wikipedia again.) I remember sales on Arizona swampland and Florida homesites that were underwater. Wait a minute did that just happen again? Is this a rerun? This time underwater means they owe more than the stuff is worth. Last time it meant there was seawater on your home site. Another way to fleece a –

They have also taken to calling some CEO’s and CFO’s schizophrenic because they can’t seem to make up their minds. There is more to schizophrenia than indecisiveness. There are auditory hallucinations and there are things we call negative symptoms. Come to think of it some of those Wall Street types must have been hearing voices all through the housing boom. And now they have started making me real negative. Still not sure they should get the diagnosis of schizophrenia though.

And when did bipolar get to mean moody? I wrote a post about that but still, some stock guy wants us to think that today’s up and down market price is a sign of bipolar.

Next week I expect to read about a stock with “Dissociative Identity Disorder” or a CEO who has an “attachment disorder.”

Could you Wall Street types leave our vocabulary alone?

Could it get any worse? I just e-searched for more depression articles. Our depression word has been hijacked by a group of meteorologists. There was a whole page of articles on “Tropical Depressions.” What is so sad about going to the tropics it would make a meteorologist depressed?

Until next time, safeguard your illness from theft and have the happiest life you can.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

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Healthy relationships

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Couple

Relationship.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Searching for happiness.

Type into a search engine almost any term about happiness or relationships and you find a whole lot of links to dating sites right at the top. Those dot com places, you know the ones I mean, make it sound like the only relationship that matters is a romantic partner one, and if you don’t have one you are somehow incomplete and unhealthy.

Most of the articles on these sites are about how to attract a partner. How to do the right things say the right things and wear the right things to be desirable. The inference here is that if you just got someone to be your partner you would be happy. If selling sex wasn’t illegal in most places I think they would flat do that also. Some get awfully close to selling relationships. So with so many people hooking up for more or less time, why are so many people so unhappy? Is a romantic partner relationship really the only one that matters?

Why do so many people in unhappy marriages divorce and remarry, only to be unhappy again? Because they never learned that happiness was inside and unhappiness was everywhere. That does not mean that sometimes relationships need to end or that having had one bad relationship you should never try again. It does mean that you need to learn to be healthy and happy or you won’t be able to be in a healthy happy relationship. Two mentally unhealthy people do not make for a healthy relationship.

People with some pretty extreme disabilities can and do have great healthy relationships. Schizophrenics who have a supportive person living with them are about half as likely to end up back in the hospital. Just be sure you are together because you both can contribute to the relationship.

So where do you start to have a great relationship? I suggest first try getting to be your own best friend, which is not an excuse for self-centeredness. I often ask clients if they would want themselves as a friend. Clients with deep depression or lots of anxiety usually say no. In fact, I continue to be surprised by how many people would not want themselves for a best friend.

If you sell someone something you would not buy yourself we think you are a lot dishonest. So how could you possibly get someone to be your friend if you wouldn’t want to be a friend to that kind of person? Now please do not give up here and say it is hopeless. Lots of mothers bring in their children and want me to change them. People in unhappy relationships come in and want us to change their partner. How about doing the remodeling program on yourself first?

Can you believe there are people who have been married to not one but two or three alcoholics? After a lot of pain and suffering, they get out of their relationship. They decide to get back out there, they go out for a night on the town with some friends and they meet a new romantic interest. Then what happens? That person, the one they met in the bar, guess what? They turn out to be an alcoholic also.

Women who have been abused and men also, often find they get into a new relationship and that person is abusive. Why?

Because unless we take the time to look at ourselves we keep being attracted to the same dysfunctional types. If you keep hooking up with drug addicts, you either need to change whom you are attracted to or get yourself a drug addict with fifteen or twenty years clean and sober.

Think back to a time in your life you met a new friend. You wanted to know all about them. Didn’t you? Why is it that my clients can tell me all about their significant other and their kids and often their parents but they have no answers to questions about themselves?

Ever heard the saying that beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone? Despite the fact that what is inside counts, far more than you may think, most people think that the way to be more attractive is to lose weight or change their look. Attractive people go through messy painful divorces also. Most women are surprised to find out that a happy smiling woman is a lot more attractive than an angry hostile one, regardless of their figure and their “look.”

Before I leave this topic, for now, I need to remind you that good relationships include the way in which you relate to your children, your parents, your boss, and sometimes even your ex.

The take away from this? Before you are likely to be happy in a romantic relationship you need to learn to be happy with yourself and then learn to be happy in those relationships with family and friends you already have. Only after you have learned to master these challenges are you likely to be successful at having a happy romantic relationship.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why does the doctor keep changing my meds?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Drugs

Medications.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Why is med compliance important?

More than once in my career as a therapist I have been asked to talk with a client about a subject that professionals call “Medication compliance.” The doctor wants us to be sure that the client is taking the medication as prescribed. People respond differently to different medications. There are reasons why clients might not take meds as prescribed. There are excellent reasons why the doctor wants their patients to take meds as prescribed.

I can’t give you advice on meds or counseling here, this is a blog, not on-line treatment, but maybe I can provide some general information on the issue of meds and why the doctor might change them.

There are five principle steps I see doctors go through in the process of deciding what meds a client should take. I am sure doctors think about a lot more than these steps but let me walk you through this process. If this raises questions about your medication please talk with your healthcare provider.

This blog post is about med management from the professional’s viewpoint. Next time some thoughts about side effects and other reasons clients don’t take meds as prescribed.

A. The doctor needs to do a thorough initial assessment. Sometimes they ask questions that sound like they are irrelevant. The doctor has their reasons. They need to establish a working diagnosis. You wouldn’t want to be prescribed cancer treatment if you didn’t have cancer, would you? They also need to know what your symptoms are and their severity. You want them prescribing meds that have some chance of helping with your problems and they need to know what your problems are to be effective at this.

B. The doctor who prescribes your psych meds needs to know if you have any other health issues and they need to monitor you for other problems and side effects. More than half of all psychiatric meds are prescribed by primary care physicians who know your medical history. The more complicated situations are usually managed by specialized doctors called psychiatrists. They will probably want lab work before prescribing medication. If you have high blood pressure they may avoid a drug known to raise blood pressure. If you have type two diabetes your psychiatrist may avoid drugs known to raise blood sugar levels or cause weight gain. I say may, because sometimes your psychiatric symptoms may be so severe that the benefits of a med will outweigh the potential risks. If a doctor does this he will probably be monitoring the effects that drug has on you. Sometimes the doctor will order regular tests, such as blood tests, to make sure the drug is doing what it is supposed to do and is not causing other problems.

At this point, the doctor will “start” a patent on a med. This initial med may not be the final med you will end up on. The doctor may need to change your med. Some meds need to be started high and then they may be reduced. Other meds may have side effects that go away over time so the doctor might choose to start with a low dose and raise it over time.

So now you are on meds, the problem should be controlled and all is well, right? Probably not. A lot of clients report that at this point the doctor starts changing meds. Why? And what makes them make the changes they do? Most often the changing starts because the problem is not under control. Either the client reports the med is not working or there are other symptoms that are causing problems. So the doctor might do three things in this order.

1.  Increase the strength or dosage of the med the client is taking and or vary the time of day or number of doses. If the doctor feels the diagnosis is correct and that the med should be helping, the first option is usually to increase the dose. If there are side effects like being sleepy during the day or not sleeping at night the doctor may choose to have the client take the meds at a different time of day. Nightmares might be another reason to move the dose to the morning instead of the night. The doctor may try increasing the dose several times to see if more of the preferred med is going to work.

2. If one or several increases in dose don’t help the doctor may try switching meds. Many doctors have a preferred med. This may be one they studied in school or did research on. It also might be a med they have used a lot and gotten good results from. Since not everyone is the same sometimes this first choice med does not work or causes other problems so the doctor tries switching. After the med switch, they may have to increase the dose of the new med. They may need to repeat the switch and adjust the dose process several times to find one that works for this client. This is frustrating for the client. It might frustrate the doctor also. He wants to help the client and nothing seems to work. This might be the point where he asks the therapist to have a talk with the client and see if the client understands and is taking the med as prescribed. Let’s say the client understands, is willing and able to follow directions, but none of the meds have worked. What might a doctor do next?

3. The doctor might at this point decide to try several meds in combination. This is a tricky one. He needs to select multiple medications from all the ones available and adjust doses of multiple meds. This process may continue for a long time as new meds are added, doses are adjusted and some meds may be discontinued. After a while, a discontinued med might get added back if it looks like the client was better with that med than after it was discontinued. During the process of juggling multiple meds, it is very important that the client is following the directions, telling the doctor about any effects and side effects experienced and it is also important that the doctor is hearing what the client is telling the doctor about their med experience.

I hope that this blog post helps you understand some of the things a prescribing doctor might consider or do in the process of trying to find the med that will help their client.

You are welcome to post comments on your experiences with meds. Just remember that as a therapist, I can’t give you specific advice about meds or prescribe any.

Another time some thoughts on side effects and why clients aren’t always able to take meds as prescribed.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Stages of change – Late Action

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Change

Change.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Late Action – The change accelerates.

Last time we talked about how I might be full of enthusiasm as my self-improvement program gets going. In the weight loss example, I begin to exercise and maybe even get interested in nutrition and diet. Are deep-fried Twinkies a healthy diet? The diet guru says no. I eat low-fat and lots of greens. I hate greens but I eat them anyway. My efforts at change are taking shape and encouraged by my own persistence I may even expand my efforts.

On days when I can’t get to the gym, workdays, I start walking on my lunch hour. It is a mile around the park. If I walk fast I can make two trips and eat during my lunch period. I discover that if I bring a healthy lunch, a sandwich, and some low-fat yogurt, and I walk around the park fast, some days I lose weight. Even if I don’t actually lose weight, at least those days I do not gain any more. At this point, the intensity of my workouts is increasing. I am really getting into this.

In substance abuse recovery terms, the person involved may not only be attending meetings, but they also have a regular home group they go to every week, maybe even a fellowship they attend every night. Some people “get into service” meaning they make coffee, take out the trash, and so on. We get trainers, sponsors, and a support system. At this point, my change is beginning to be something I tell people about.

For people who have an emotional problem, like depression or anxiety, their recovery action might be seeing their therapist on a regular basis, improving self-care, or journaling. There is a huge connection between emotional issues and eating problems. One of the key issues a professional looks for in making a mental health diagnosis is changes in eating and sleep. Binge eating, overeating or not being able to eat, as well as sleeping too much or too little are all symptoms of problems. They can also be causes. More about that mind-body connection and the relationship between sleep, eating, and other life problems in a future blog.

So in late action, I am getting somewhere on my self-change program. Losing a few pounds, not drinking or drugging and I am no longer so depressed I don’t want to get out of bed. Everything should be going fine. Right?

Then what happens? Why do so many people successfully make a change only to return to the place they were before? Why do most weight loss programs, diet, and exercise, end in putting on more pounds than we lost? Why do so many people get a thirty-day sober chip only to drink again? And how is it that depression and anxiety return after a period of time?

I start wondering, am I fixed? Do I have to give up those quadruple thick burgers with the pound of fries? How long will I need to take these psych meds? Can’t I just have a donut or a glass of wine? What kind of wine goes best with donuts? My mind starts looking for ways out of the change process.

For substance abuse, we call this relapse. For depression or anxiety, we are starting to think in those terms also. For weight loss programs the part that we don’t like to talk about is why after losing twenty pounds, do I put it all back on and then some. Every time I have been on a diet I have needed to get new larger clothes.

This is the point where people start talking to us about maintenance plans.  You mean I can’t just crash diet off ten pounds and then I will be able to eat like other people? Can’t you AA folks just teach me to control my drinking? So my depression is gone. I will never feel that way again. Time to get back to the way things were before my self-improvement program. So next time let’s talk about putting the weight back on, the relapse, and the return of emotional problems.

Other posts on this topic can be found at Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Early Action, Late Action, Maintenance, relapse, recovery, triggers, support system, more on support systems, Resiliency

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

12 ways to Sabotage New Year’s resolutions

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

the future

Living the Future
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

There are hundreds of articles out there about how to keep New Year’s resolutions. This isn’t one of them. This is about getting out of the ones you already made.

Lots of people make New Year’s resolutions, we feel we have to. But then the next morning we wish we had never said that. Here are some easy ways to make sure that your New Year’s resolution ends up in the dust and ensure that no one blames you for not living up to your promises.

1. Set huge impossible large goals. Despite not exercising for the last  60 years or so and having given up my photograph efforts in the late 1970s, this year I plan to make a film chronicling my success at winning twelve different gold medals in sports I had not previously played. Who could blame me for not keeping that one? The key here is to not plan to do anything, just plan to somehow have achieved the goal without effort.

2. Do not write down your goals or tell anyone. Writing things down leaves evidence. You might be tempted to look at your goals during the year. If you can’t remember what you planned to do how can it be your fault? Telling someone only expands the conspiracy. If you don’t tell, they won’t ask. People who blab their resolutions fell obliged to work on them.

3. Hang out with the losers. If you hang out with successful people you might emulate them. Want to avoid weight loss? Hang out at the donut shop or a buffet; better yet look up a donut buffet.

4. Resolve to change someone else. This is a favorite one that works every time. Plan to change your children or your spouse. Who could blame you if your family does not change? It was certainly your ex’s fault or maybe the fault of those rotten kids, wherever they are these days.

5. Embrace boredom. If it is fun don’t do it. Make resolutions to do boring, painful things not something you might actually get to like if you tried it. Nothing will squash a resolution faster than a good reason to avoid it in the first place.

6. Bet the farm on this one. If you are going to not do something, don’t do something big. Make your resolution so huge that your family might end up homeless if you did not carry through. Who could argue with you giving up your dream for the safety of your family? Doing a series of small things might actually be doable and then you would be stuck with a string of successes. Nothing ends your streak of failures like a small unsuspected success.

7. Test yourself constantly. This works well for alcoholics, who test themselves by buying alcohol and hanging out in bars. If your resolution had to do with food, go shopping and fill the house with your favorite foods. Then check the cupboard or the fridge often just to reassure yourself you have not eaten them – yet. Test yourself often enough you are sure to fail.

8. Don’t worry about being emotional. Watch sad movies and cry. Pick lots of fights. Argue with everyone you can. After an emotional day like that, you are sure to not have the energy needed to work on any stupid resolution. Happiness is incompatible with failure. Laughter can ruin a well thought out sorry-for-yourself binge. Stay moody.

9. Stop sleeping. Stay up all night every night and then sleep all day. Worry about your exercise plan, make a list of things you can’t buy. Lack of sleep will make you irrational but who can blame a half-crazed person for shopping online all night.

10. Give up all friends. Nothing so ensures your failure at resolutions as being totally isolated from all human contact. Quit your job, fight with your spouse till they leave, and hang up on your friends. People who are all alone should not be expected to be a success at anything, right?

11. Don’t eat. Being really eat-a-bear hungry can make you grouchy enough to not only stop trying but to be able to tell anyone still talking to you to put that resolution where the moonshine doesn’t- whatever.

12. If you tried before and failed don’t try again. Some people keep trying. If they keep that up they risk an eventual success. Smokers have an edge here. Most need to try to quit five to seven times so they get to talk about their try’s three or four times before giving up. Be careful though if you try too many times you might just end up making that change.

Well, I hope that this was helpful to all of you who are trying to avoid carrying through on your New Year’s resolutions. You could use this at other times of the year for any other change you are avoiding. Despite all my good advice some of you will try to make and keep New Year’s resolutions. Those of you who are successful will probably have passed through the series of steps we call “Stages of Change.” I see some of my former students smiling at that. They knew I couldn’t slip by mentioning the “Stages of Change.”

Spoiler alert – In a future blog I plan to write about how it is that people who attempt changes really do go about doing it successfully. Some of you are anticipating me and are inferring that real change rarely comes from one time resolutions and may involve a series of steps which we counselors like to term “Stages of Change.” If you prefer making resolutions and then not keeping them, avoid those blog posts.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Depression Season – 8 Ways To Beat It.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Depressed person

Depression.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Beat the depression season.

We are coming up on depression season. Did you know it has its own season? Like the rainy season or strawberry season, there is a definite season for depression, and it is fast approaching. While there are lots of reasons people might get depressed for the holidays there are things you can do to prevent or reduce depression this time of year so please stay tuned to the end for the solutions.

You have seen or will see shortly see lots of stuff about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). A great many people suffer from a specific disorder which causes them to get depressed this time of year. Some people with SAD are OK during the winter but get depressed in the summer. A few unlucky ones get depressed summer and winter. These issues mainly have to do with changes in the hours of daylight and the weather. That’s not the only reason people will be getting depressed soon.

People with mood disorders, those who experience depression or bipolar disorder, are at extra risk to fall into depression this time of year.  There are all kinds of reasons for people with mood disorders to have episodes of depression and this time of year has. The season has lots of stressors that may trigger a bout of depression. Sure seasonal changes are one reason but as severe as they may be, loss of light and cold weather are not the only reason people fall into depression this time of year.

One reason for a winter depression season, which I believe is significant, is the increased occurrence of colds and flu. When someone is under the weather, they get grumpy and want to be left alone. When humans are sick we tend to push others away. This is especially true of children. We see a lot of kids that were essentially well-behaved most of the year but suddenly during the winter months they get into fights with their caregivers and end up in emergency psychiatric facilities. Often these emergency admissions, in kids and in adults, will begin sniffling and sneeze within hours if not minutes of admission. They got into conflicts and were unable to manage their emotions in part because they were fighting off an illness.

There are a lot of family get-togethers during the fall holiday season. Events like these cause stress. Even good events can be stressful. But how often has a holiday get together ended in arguments and fights? What was supposed to be a happy get together has turned into a depressing occurrence?

Some people become especially depressed during the holiday season for the opposite reason, they have little or no family. That is not the way we picture a holiday get together. On T. V and in the store ads holiday meals are a large group of people all laughing around a table full of tempting food. Imagine eating a bowl of Top Ramen by yourself for your holiday meal? I am getting bummed out just writing about this.

Increased consumption of alcohol and drugs in the wintertime also results in an increase in depression. People with mental illnesses are at increased risk to use drugs and alcohol to try to feel better. They also smoke the majority of the cigarettes consumed in America. Add a full ashtray and an empty bottle of booze to that bleak alone Christmas table and see how the picture looks now.

People with substance abuse problems, of course, get really depressed, at the holidays or any other time for that matter. Alcohol is a depressant, plain, and simple. Lots of us missed school the day they taught that. So the more you drink the more depressed you will probably get. Remember the twenty percent heaviest drinkers will drink eighty percent of the alcohol this holiday. They will also get arrested the most and they are fifty-five times more likely to attempt suicide when drunk.

People who do stimulants such as Methamphetamine will not be happy for Christmas either. Stimulant abuse does not make for happy people, just “wired” people. And when those drugs wear off and the user crashes, add them to the depressed.

So it does not much matter whether you have one problem, two problems, or many. It is not important which came first, the mood disorder or drug use. Lots of people are at risk for a bout of depression, from mild to severe, this holiday season.

So what can you do to avoid or reduce depression during the holidays?

A few simple steps, these are especially important if you know you are at risk.

1. Avoid alcohol and abusing drugs.

2. If you take meds stay on them and take them as prescribed. If you experience a severe episode of depression you may need to talk to your doctor or psychiatrist about your medication needs.

3. Spend as much time as possible in brightly lit places. A few hours a day of sunlight is great if possible. And definitely, avoid dark gloomy places.

4. If you have a spiritual or religious faith, practice it like your life depends on it. If you have severe depression your life just might depend on it.

5. Do not stay at home alone. Find places to go and people to be around. This is an area where alcoholics, drug addicts, and other recovering people just may have an advantage if they chose to use it. All across this country and beyond, twelve-step groups will have increased meetings during the holiday season. Many have potluck dinners. Some groups will hold Alco-thons and marathon meetings, around the clock 24 hours meetings of recovering people who encourage and support each other. For more information check your appropriate fellowship on-line or call the local central office.

6. Make use of your support system. Call someone you care about. Call someone who cares about you. If you have no support system – see point 5 above.

7. Plan to do something for someone else. Any minute you are thinking about someone else is a moment you are not worrying about yourself.

8. Don’t hesitate to call or seek professional help. They are lots of local helplines. Please use them. The time to look up those numbers, like the time to develop a support system, is before you need them.

Hope you all avoid the depression season and have the happy life you deserve.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel