Category Archives: Psychology

What is life coaching?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

coach

Coaching.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Life Coaching is an exciting and a scary world.

Life coaching is a new development in the counseling, therapy, helping-person field. There are good life coaches out there, who can be very helpful, but finding who you need to see is the challenge. Let’s hope this post will help explain those issues.

Coaching of all kinds has been around for a very long time. We are all mostly familiar with athletic coaches. Most have been players, grown up around the sport they coach or they have taken formal university classes in how to coach a particular sport. A good coach can prepare you for the Olympic trials or help you take your golf game up to a pro-level. You do not take a weekend seminar online and then coach an NFL team.

Other types of coaches have grown up to meet the needs of particular people for mentoring and development. Executive coaches help executives plan and develop careers. Recovery coaches are often people who have recovered from a particular issue, substance use disorders, or alcoholism. They can help take a recovering person through the journey from the land of addiction to recovery land.

One thing we have found in the recovery field is that being in personal recovery can help make you a better coach or substance abuse counselor, but that by itself is not enough. Those peer coaches need more training and they need supervision. To be a good coach you not only need to know how to do something, play a sport or recover from drug use, you also need to know how to pass that knowledge on to the person you are trying to help.

Why life coaches?

Many of the current life coaches have come from the fields of psychology, especially counseling psychology to be specific, or they are from the fields of mental health, marriage and family therapist, or professional counselors.

Most mental health therapy and counseling are deficit-based. You need to have a mental illness and then we can see you and bill your insurance. But what if you want to be a better person, develop your career, or just plan to more effectively reach your goals? Counseling, in the past, was not set up to help well people, it was set up to treat ill people.

One school of counseling, we call this a “theoretical orientation” is called “solution-focused therapy.” Rather than looking for what makes you sick, these therapists look for the things you do that work and then help you plan to do more of these behaviors.

Recently counselors and psychologists have been looking at things called “strength-based” counseling. What are you good at and how will we help you do more of that. This led to the field of positive psychology which looks at making life better rather than “pathologizing” people so that we only treat sick people.

Thinking in terms of teaching skills to have a better life is scary to those people who are used to thinking that systems of care should only treat the really – really – sick people. The result is that help in having the life you want and in staying well is not something most healthcare systems pay for. You want help in having a good life, they may think, you need to go looking for it yourself.

If you plan ahead then you can get sick, get professional help until your problem gets moderate or mild, and then you are back to being on your own.

Many people would rather plan and develop a good life and avoid being sick in the first place. So they seek out coaches that can help them plan a better life. You do not have to be sick to go for coaching.

Now the secret part of life coaching.

Most, maybe all of what coaches are doing has been done by counselors and some psychologists all along. The difference today is not what we do but who pays for what. The result is new fields of counseling psychology and counselors doing “life coaching.” Marriage and Family Therapists have known this for a long time. Come in when you have mild disagreements and we can help you improve communication. Wait till the divorce is in progress and all we can do is keep you from hurting each other while you negotiate the divorce stuff.

Some problems with “life coaches”

Try a web search on life coaching and you will see a vast array of web pages. All life coaches are far from equal. Many of the web pages for life coaching are adds, take this class; send in a check and you can become a life coach and make big money telling people how to live their life. The truth of life coaching is far from this.

Currently, there is no set curriculum or standards for life coaches, no license and while there are schools teaching life coaching most are private for-profit enterprises and their degrees are untested and unaccredited.

Some life coaches run ads that sound more like they are psychics or “spiritual healers.” Now if that is what you are looking for all well and good. The rub comes in when people go to these “life coaches” and turns out they have a serious mental illness that should have been treated.

My suggestion is that if you want “life coaching” because you want to improve your life and reduce stress, seek out a licensed mental health professional. I must here disclose my biases. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor. Also in supervising trainees and interns who are new to the field, some of what I do is coach them in how to be the best possible therapists and counselors. So, I do all three and that may make me extra skeptical of those who embark on the life coaching business without getting some serious education and training.

The life coaching conclusion.

If you hate your job and are so depressed you can’t go to work, get therapy for your depression. If you don’t know what kind of job you want, see a career counselor. Not sure how to develop and grow your career as you grow older you may need job or life coaching. Same thing for relationships. Can’t get along with your partner see a couple’s counselor. Scared and having trouble dating and finding a partner? You may want to work with a relationship counselor but on some dating coaching.

In future posts, I want to talk to you about strengths-based counseling and how you may find it worthwhile to look for someone who will help you have the best life possible.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Psychology major may be bad for your Mental Health.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

The Psyche

What is psychology?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Majoring in Psychology won’t fix you.

There is a repeating pattern in my public therapy work. Adults past the teen years show up for counseling referred by a government agency because of their depression, anxiety, unemployment, and substance use disorder. One thing many of them have in common? Many of them have been Psychology majors. What they find out too late is that knowing all about Psychology won’t fix you.

Addiction treatment has known this knowledge does not equal recovery for a long time.

Addiction and alcoholism treatment sprang from self-help groups, A.A. and N.A. mostly. The early founders of those groups tried going to professionals, psychiatrists, and psychologists, but while they received some help there, being diagnosed with addiction or depression is a long way from getting treatment for your issue.

Knowing you are an alcoholic, even knowing why you drink, does not result in sobriety. Not without some work on changing things. The same thing happens with depression and anxiety. Most of the things you learn in Psychology class about states and traits and the big five personality factors may give you some insight into your personality but it doesn’t tell you what to do next.

Psychology may explain your problem as you are an introvert and have a high need for security. But you are still lonely, afraid to go out of your house, and depressed all the time. Maybe you are drinking to manage your anxiety and depression. You may get pills from your doctor, but before long you find you are using more pills than prescribed and drinking way too much and you still have those problems. Now what?

Psychology and Therapy got a divorce.

Psychology and Therapy separated a long time ago. Not everyone got the memo, but these two disciplines are divorced. On college campuses, they live in different buildings. Psychology had a brief affair with counseling also but they have been estranged for some time now.

Psychology is mostly about brains, nervous systems, and how the normal brain works. Many pure psychologists spend more time with rats and mice than people. They give questionnaires and do studies to find out how many people have a particular problem and whether there is anything that is helping them.

You have to study psychology for a very long time before they let you experiment on people and by then your own issues have eaten you alive.

Therapy and Counseling are about helping the individual find the answers they need on how to change their lives. This works even if you do not change your big five-factor personality. You can still be an introvert but if you learn to develop a support system and have better social skills your problem may stop making you miserable.

Clinical Psychology is a stepchild.

Before I get everyone in the helping, changing people field mad at me I should mention that there is a group of people called clinical psychologists who study both how the normal brain works and how to help them with mental and emotional problems. This takes at least 6 years of college and some original research to get a Ph.D. This lets you help others but it won’t fix you.

You shouldn’t believe everything you read in a psychology journal.

I read a lot of research. Psych professors do research. That old publish or perish thing. Some of this research is really good. Some of it is suspect. Many of the things you learn about in psychology class are the result of studies those professors have done. They often use a “convenience” sample of psychology students. If people with mental health issues take a lot of psychology classes, and it looks from what my clients tell me that is true a lot of the time, then those studies of “normal” people are done on not so normal people.

For example, I have been reading a lot of research for the series about sleep dreams and nightmares I was working on. One of those studies, done on psych students, included 85% of women. In a clinical setting, women are more likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness than men and psych students may have self-selected into this class because of their own issues. I am skeptical of this author’s conclusions.

Do not take out your own appendix.

You can study all about anatomy. Know all about appendicitis and still, you shouldn’t take out your own appendix. It is also not recommended you do the operation on a family member.

Same thing with treating yourself for mental and emotional problems. Many counseling programs make their students go through the experience of getting personal counseling. This has two advantages. First, you learn what it is like to be the client before you put someone else through the process. More importantly, this gives prospective therapists the chance to work on themselves before they start working with others.

If you are thinking about becoming a psychology major, or have been one, I would recommend you look at why. If it is because studying rat brains sounds cool, have at it. But if you are doing this because you or someone close to you have emotional or mental problems, think about getting counseling for your problems first and then see if you still want to do this.

There are a lot of psychology majors, counselors, social work majors, philosophy majors and so on who are among the unemployed, mentally ill, addicted populations. I suppose that happens to many other majors also. Just wanted to put out that special warning that learning all about psychology won’t fix you. Regardless of your major, in order to have a happy successful life, financially or emotionally, you need to be mentally healthy first.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Did psychology and psychiatry get a divorce- or are they just separated

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Divorce.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Why talking about mental health, mental illness and personality are so confusing.

Psychology and mental health treatment started out in a pretty close intimate relationship. Over the years the two disciplines have drifted apart.

Freud and Jung started us on the path to using talk therapy to help people overcome life problems and to treat mental illnesses.

The longer we have been on this path the more the disciplines of psychology and mental health have diverged. Today it seems that they are not even talking as we use very different language to describe the same or similar situations.

One place this results in confusion is when people tell their mental health practitioner about a symptom using psychology terms to describe what they are going through. One definition of Psychology is an academic and applied discipline that involves the scientific study of mental functions and behaviors.

This is quite different from the study of mental illness through the two may at times overlap. Both fields are struggling with finding and measuring mental wellness.

Psychiatry is mostly about diagnosing an illness.

In this way of thinking, you are sick or you are not. Some of this distinction comes from the ongoing division between categorical approaches, you have A or you do not have A, and continuum methods in which you move from mild symptoms to more severe symptoms and at some point, they get severe enough to need treatment.

Psychology talks a lot about how your brain works and how people make decisions. So one group of practitioners gives you one label and another gives you a different one. They aren’t even talking about the same things.

I see things in posts about being an ENTJ or similar designation. This comes from psychology’s effort to classify people’s basic personality. You will not find these designations in the DSM-5 which the mental health community uses to diagnose an illness. This results in some extreme frustration on the part of clients when we say there is nothing wrong with them and they know they are suffering.

An example.

You say you are shy. There is nothing called shyness in the DSM, therefore you are not mentally ill.  You say “but you don’t understand, I am very very shy.” Sorry, that is not a mental illness and your insurance company or the public system will not pay to treat your personality. They also do not pay for personal development or growth experiences. You need to be sick to get treated.

You say but I am so shy I can’t leave my house to work. I am afraid of being around people and I can’t see my friends anymore. My shyness is keeping me a prisoner in my own home. Your clinician says sorry, shy is not a mental illness we can’t treat that.

WAIT A MINUTE – Did you say you can’t leave the house? That could be Agoraphobia. You can’t be around people – could that be Social Phobia? While we can’t treat shy we can treat Agoraphobia or Social anxiety disorders.

See how the difference in terminology can cause problems?

Hyperthymic vs. Bipolar.

This came up in my series of posts on Hyperthymia. In mental health, you have Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Bipolar NOS, or Cyclothymia. Hyperthymia is a personality type, not a mental illness so we don’t treat personality types.  We consider most types of personality as just the way you are. So until it gets severe and we can give you a diagnosis this is not an illness and this is, from our viewpoint not serious.

Personality “Disorders” are whole other creature, again only loosely related to these personality types people learn in psychology classes.

In past posts, I have talked about the research on Hypothermia. Most of this is academic research and they see hypothermia as on a continuum. You could have varying levels of Hyperthymia. Some Hyperthymia is severe and needs treatment in their book. But since it is not in the DSM we therapists types look at this as one of those “just how you are” things. We don’t treat it until it gets severe enough to be reclassified as a disorder on the Bipolar spectrum. Once we call it something else it gets treated.

In upcoming posts, I want to talk about Delusions. For mental health practitioners delusions are symptoms of a relatively few mental illnesses. For the psychology researchers there are delusions and delusion-like experiences and so on. Since we have varying definitions and criteria this material may take a little translating. Hence I have tried to explain in this post why the various sorts of similar professions may not agree about what the research says and means.

Until next time stay happy or on your path to happiness and let’s see where this adventure we call recovery may take us.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Think yourself sick – Nocebo Effect

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Woman thinking

Thinking.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

The Nocebo Effect.

Did you know that thinking you will get sick, can make it so? Most of us are familiar with the Placebo effect in which someone who thinks they are taking powerful medication will get better even if the pill has nothing in it. There is an opposite but not so equal effect called the Nocebo effect in which we can make ourselves sick when the risk factors say we should not have gotten ill.

In one study of women with a family history of heart disease, women who expected to have heart problems – eventually developed them.  Thinking they were prone to heart disease made them four times more likely to develop the disease than those who did not think they would get it. That difference persisted even when we compared the results of diet, exercise, weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol.

This does not mean you should give up efforts to control your weight or improve your health. What it does tell us is that while positive thoughts can make you happier, negative thoughts can kill you.

Doctors have known about the existence of the Nocebo effect for a long time. Surgeons know that people who do not expect to survive an operation are much more likely to die. If the patient has had a loved one who died recently and they want to be with that loved one, the risk of death increases dramatically even when the operation is not that risky. Still, it is hard to measure something that makes the body sick but is centered in the mind, not the body.

Is this a new idea? No, not really. We have all talked or thought about someone who “makes me sick.” Brian Reid wrote an interesting article called The Nocebo Effect: Placebo’s Evil Twin for The Washington Post on April 30, 2002. He is not the only one to tackle this subject. Penny Sarchet discussed research on the ‘Nocebo’ effect in her winning essay for the Wellcome Trust science writing prize in November of 2001. There have been lots of other references to this phenomenon but it hasn’t been widely noticed.

One reason is that we like to give people credit for healing themselves through their beliefs or positive thinking but we are reluctant to criticize someone for having negative thoughts. Depressed people, for example, can’t be positive. Acknowledging the Nocebo effect feels like blaming the victim.

Many of the side-effects reported for medications may be the result of Nocebo effects. Burns, Meichenbaum, and others have talked about the way in which beliefs about the effectiveness of a medication or negative beliefs about the med can change the results of studies even when there are no active ingredients in the pill. For example, always buy multi-colored capsules if you can; they work better than white tablets regardless of what is in them.

Reid also pointed out in his article that doctors don’t like to warn patients about potential side effects because telling the patient about that side-effect makes the patient much more likely to have that side effect.

We know that thoughts are transmitted in the brain chemically. Now with various sorts of brain scans, we can see what happens in the brain. Tell someone that the medication they are taking will have a painful effect and the parts of the brain that process pain will light up.

We also know that what you are thinking, good or bad has an effect not just on your thoughts and mood but also on the production of chemicals that make you better or worse.

Have you ever awakened one morning and thought you were going to have a bad day? Have you known someone who was always negative and expected the worst? How does it usually turn out? Expecting the worst increases the chances that you will experience it.

Thinking is not a substitute for proper medical treatment, but your attitude towards that treatment may influence the effectiveness of the treatment no matter what your doctor does. Your thoughts can influence the results.

So how do you banish Nocebo?

Try to keep your thoughts positive. Read inspirational books. Spend time with friends. Having positive people around you can make you more positive. If you don’t have a positive support system, develop one. Go to religious services, do hobbies and activities where you might see people and make friends. Having good friends can lengthen your life.

Pay more attention to the benefits of things than the negative. Whatever you focus on you will get more of. Constantly worrying about side effects will make them larger. Focusing on any progress no matter how small will magnify that progress.

If something is concerning you, capture that thought, write it down, type it on the computer whatever it takes to get it recorded, and then out of your head. Trying to remember for a month all the things you need to discuss with your doctor will keep you focused on your pain and symptoms. Writing it down gets the disturbing thought out of your head and gives you something to take with you when you talk to your provider.

Work with a counselor or therapist on improving your outlook. Self-help groups, religious leaders, and trustworthy friends can also be helpful in banishing negative thoughts.

Be aware of the Nocebo effect and don’t become its next victim.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel