Taking stock of yourself. Posts about self-discovery

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Self

Getting to know yourself.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Here are links to posts about self-discovery and getting to know yourself.

I decided to post this list to help you find some of the past posts on this important subject. There will be additional posts on the topic of finding out “Who are you?” as we progress through the year.

Eventually, my plan is to pull all these posts together into a longer document, maybe even a book. Only time will tell. If you have other suggestions on how to get in touch with yourself, that old inventory process, feel free to leave a comment.

How sure are you about that goal?

Finding your Quest – what life challenge will define you?

Inventorying your baggage

What do you most want in your life?

Your autobiography as therapy

How heavy is your baggage – Unpacking your baggage

Would a Genie help? Happiness by magic

Who are you? Who do you want to be?

5 things you need to ask yourself about mistakes to avoid making them again

Are you original or ordinary?

Are you successful?

How did you know that? When and where we learn things matters.

Every day is April Fools’ Day when you are fooling yourself

Hope that helps.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

4 Ways liars get away with deceiving us

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Truth or lie

Separating truth from lies is hard work.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How do they get away with lying?

Ever wonder how chronic liars seem to get away with telling falsehoods while other people get caught when they say the smallest thing that is not totally true.

Here are some of the ways liars get us to believe their falsehoods.

They spend time getting our trust first.

A consummate liar will spend lots of time getting to know you, becoming your best friend, and building trust, all the time waiting for the chance to tell that one big one and get away with it.

Watch out for those who have had relationships go sour in the past and they always have a story to tell about how the other person after a long period of time did them wrong. They usually have not resolved that misunderstanding but have cut that person off.

The chances are that no one is all good or all bad and if this person has a long string of being treated wrongly there is some part they are playing in this. Be wary of someone who is not able to admit that they played a part in past relationship failures.

We want to believe them

If they are offering something that sounds too good to be true it probably is. If they are making a special deal, just for us, we wonder why they are letting us have it. And exactly what are they letting us have.

The more you have an incentive for wanting to believe this person the more you let your guard down and the easier you make it for them to slide that whopper by you.

One way to prevent this is to be sure you watch out for any preexisting desire on your part to believe them. This results in you latching on to the things you want to hear and then tuning out the things that should have warned you that a lie was coming.

A well-crafted lie always needs to contain some truth.

Just because one of the facts you are told is rock solid you know it is true does not mean the rest of the story is accurate. Any good liar will know to embellish their falsehood with as much truth as can be crafted to fit around and conceal the lie.

The trick or treat method.

In this operation the would-be deceiver tells you lots of nice things, things you want to believe, things you think are true, and then as your guard goes down they slip in a whopper.

This technique works best if the chronic liar keeps up a high level of small truths and a relatively few large deceits.

These are only three ways we might be deceived but the repeat liar is likely to know all of these and more.

How have you played a role in letting others deceive you and how might you be more discerning in the future?

Best wishes on creating that happy life you deserve.

David Joel, Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

They didn’t teach me that in school

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

School classroom

School.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Why didn’t they teach you that in school?

We have this expectation that once you go to school, get a degree, you should be set. You should know what you need to know. That is not true by a couple of kilometers.

I have discovered since I graduated from school, that what I do not know outsides the things I did learn. Some of this I can attribute to the student not getting everything the professor taught. I know I missed some things. Now that I have been teaching I realize we don’t tell the students everything they need to know. It is just not possible.

Most educational programs cannot begin to teach you all there is to know in your subject matter area. Personally, I have read more books, attended more trainings, and had to learn more material since the degree than I did in the process of getting a degree.

This phenomenon happens in very good degree programs. It is probably worse in some of the for-profit educational systems which can teach you all sorts of things that are fun to learn but do not necessarily qualify you to get a job in that field. In some places, there were no jobs to begin with, or the ones that are out there require far more than a degree.

What a good program of study can do for you is to teach you the basic vocabulary of the field you want to enter. You should learn some things about the laws or ethics, hopefully, both, that relate to your chosen profession. You learn enough to realize what you do not know and that is about all. The purpose of an educational program should be to give you basic entry-level skills, not the advanced skills that you might need to be competitive in the job market.

Let’s use counseling as an example. We learn the differences between depression and autism and we learn the theory of how to counsel. That does not make the new graduate competent to work with someone with an eating disorder or Autism. Those advanced skills require more training. Most of the time we don’t know when we graduate what direction our career will take. You get hired by an agency that works with people on parole and you learn about that. If you get a job at an eating disorder clinic or an organization that works with people with autism you will need more training in that.

The result is a whole lot of recent graduates who find out that there are no jobs doing what they learned about in school or who find they have such basic skills that there will be years more training required before they can function at a competent level.

If you think that once you get that degree the education part is over you will probably not last or be successful in your chosen field. The true professional never stops learning.

One of the great tragedies of our educational system these days is the belief among so many people that going to school and getting a degree in something you like will automatically result in a good-paying job in that field. The truth is that the degree only gets you in the door for the interview. The path from a new graduate to a successful career is a long one.

Far too many people have run up sizable educational debt only to find there are no jobs out there in that field or those that do exist are in other parts of the country and may not pay enough to fund that large student loan.

If you have made the decision that a college degree is for you, make sure that you research not only the school you want to attend but the major you will embark on. Spend as much time researching the possible job market for that job as you would on following a sports team. And consider talking with someone who is currently on the job about the things they have had to learn after embarking on their career.

Your school may have taught you about the subject matter of your degree but that can fall far short of what you will need to know to be successful earning a living in that field.

Remember that your learning does not end with the degree. If you want to be successful in most fields the degree is the starting point in your lifelong process of learning.

Best wishes on your path to creating the happy life you want.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

More problems for the children of Meth users

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Drugs of addiction

Addiction.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Being around Meth users is bad for children.

Just read another study that reports on another problem for children of meth users. Like we needed another study to tell us that using Meth is bad for both parents and their children. We know Meth use is bad, just we may not yet know how bad and in what ways. Still, this study caught my eye for several reasons.

This study looked not at Newborns but at toddler age children of Meth users. It found parental Meth use affected these toddlers in some ways we had not looked for before.

These kids show an abnormal stress response. This will have an impact on these kids for the rest of their lives.

We have long known that the mother’s drug use during pregnancy can and does affect the child.

Alcohol is the easiest case in which to see this. We started out thinking that above a certain point alcohol could damage the fetus. For a long time, we talked about safe levels of alcohol use and how much alcohol consumption did it take to result in “Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.”

This concept, that some was safe and you had to drink a lot to harm the fetus, has been modified as we found problems in children whose mothers drank smaller amounts of alcohol and still those children showed long-term problems. We now referred to these problems as “Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder” in recognition that any alcohol can affect the unborn child. We also now believe that high blood concentrations of alcohol on anyone drinking occasion, known as binge drinking, can result in damage even if the pregnant woman drinks moderately or not at all. Binge drinking harms both the mother and the unborn child.

What does this have to do with children of Meth users?

For one thing, we believe that the brain of the unborn child is heavily influenced by the chemicals in the mother’s bloodstream. What damage is done depends on which of the various structures in the brain and nervous system are being formed when the mother drinks or uses.

The fetus is experiencing a higher dose of the drug than the mother because the liver of the fetus is not well-developed. The drug passes through the placenta to the fetus and then has to return to the mother to circulate through her bloodstream and eventually be removed by the mother’s liver.

My experience clinically, and there seems to be research that bears this out, is that mothers who used Meth during pregnancy have more children with long-term learning disabilities than women who abstain from drugs during pregnancy.

This brings into question if Meth and possible Cocaine affects the unborn what effects could other drugs have?

Mothers who use depressants like Heroin appear to have children with one set of learning and behavioral problems. Children of stimulant abusers have a different set of problems.

This makes me wonder what the risks are for the children of women who consume these highly caffeinated energy drinks.

We also know that many of these drugs have larger more amplified effects on the unborn if there is alcohol in the mother’s bloodstream. This is a case of 2 plus 2 being 6 or 7 when it comes to creating harm for the unborn.

Where this new study expanded our knowledge of the effects of parent drug use on children was the evaluation of continuing stress on the children who had been exposed to Meth.

What they found was that this combination of pre-birth exposure to Meth and ongoing stress in the family resulted in toddlers who had greatly exaggerated or changed responses to stress even when outside the home.

The implication here is that the cumulative effects of Maternal drug use and then stress in the mother or family’s life after the birth magnifies the problems for the child.

All this argues for the critical need for more drug abuse prevention and treatment for women during their child producing years and for treatment to help parents of young children cope with stress and provide a less stressful environment for the child.

We can help the mother at this critical time or we can plan on building more special education classrooms, jails, prison, and mental hospitals for these kids later down the road.

I know what I think the better and more cost-effective path would be, but I doubt that the people who pay the bills for treatment will see it that way.

Getting tough on sick people is a lot easier to sell than dollars for prevention.

Here is wishing for a better and happier future for all of us and the children who come after us.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Addiction, substance use disorder or chemical dependency

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Drugs of addiction

Addiction.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

What is the difference between addiction and chemical dependency?

A lot of different terms are applied to the usage of substances and problems that arise when people begin to experience difficulties with their use.

Various professions use different terminology to describe the same or similar problems and we don’t all use the same severity points to identify problems.

One way of understanding these differences is to think of substance use as being on a continuum. Let’s start with something most people are familiar with, alcohol use, and then add various drugs to the picture.

Alcohol use might range from no use to chronic daily drinking to the point of passing out. Fully 50% of the people in the U. S, who are old enough to drink, did not have a drink in the last 30 days. Clearly not everyone drinks and among those who do, not everyone has a problem.

Heavy Drinkers.

At the other end of the scale, the 10% heaviest drinkers consume 60% of all the alcohol drunk. The top 20% heaviest drinkers consume 80% of the alcohol sold in America. People at the high end of the drinking scale develop more and more serious alcohol use problems than those who consume less.

Among those who do drink, some people have one or two drinks on a special occasion such as a wedding or New Years’. People who drink at this level rarely have any problems. It is possible however to drink only once a year on New Year’s and end up drunk every time resulting in DUI’s or arrests.

The labels that will be attached to the person as their consumption of alcohol increases and problems begin to arise will vary with the profession and the reason the person is being given the label.

The person who has one drink and no ill effects would be considered by most of us an alcohol user but nothing more. The person who only drinks occasionally but when they drink has problems might be thought of as abusing alcohol.

The chemically dependent.

The medical profession often has special units which are called “Chemical Dependency units.” The people who reach these units have the most severe form of substance use disorder. They have reached the point of physical dependence on their drug of choice. Those who are chemically dependent on alcohol are at risk to die during withdrawal.

If someone has ever had a stroke, seizure, or experienced the D.T,s if there are any hallucinations occurring when the level of alcohol in this person’s bloodstream begins to drop, this person is at high medical risk and should be detoxed in a hospital or other medically managed facility. People can and do die from alcohol withdrawal.

People who are chemical dependent on other drugs may have severe physical withdrawal symptoms. The heroin or opioid user, for example, will have diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, shakes, and goosebumps. The withdrawals from opiates may feel like the person will die but deaths from opiate withdrawals are rarer than from alcohol. Overdose deaths are another issue.

Short of physical withdrawal is a form of substance use disorder that is called Substance Dependence. Clearly, not all cravings for a drug of choice are the result of physical withdrawal.

Someone goes through a 30-day treatment program, they have not used for over a month but the day they are discharged they use again. The craving is not a result of physical or chemical dependency but is a psychological need. Therapists would diagnose this as Substance Dependency. For the Therapist, this would include both physical and psychological dependency.

Alcoholism and addiction.

Twelve-step programs draw a different distinction. They would call this problem use of substances, addiction, or alcoholism. This addiction level of problem use may be reached even before psychological dependency has occurred. Addiction may begin at the point of wanting, craving, and thinking about the drug of choice even before the person has lost the ability to control usage. If you are struggling to control your usage then you have already reached a point of problem usage and probably would fit the description of an alcoholic or addict.

Substance abuse.

The lowest level of problem use would be referred to as substance abuse. This might be binge drinking, drinking more than planned or doing something dangerous after having consumed alcohol or another drug. The person who has a few too many drinks and then drives may be abusing alcohol but may not yet have developed alcoholism.

If this alcohol abuser can realize they have a problem and stop drinking to excess, they may be able to stop their progression to alcohol dependence, alcoholism, or chemical dependency.

Substance use disorder makes its debut.

The newer trend, now reflected in the DSM-5, is to avoid making fine distinctions between substance abuse, dependency, addiction, and chemical dependency and call all problem relationships with drugs including alcohol simply a substance use disorder.

Substance use disorder can come in mild, moderate, or severe forms.

Wherever the substance use disorder starts, it needs treatment long before it becomes an addiction or chemical dependency.

Whatever happens (It has happened with the DSM-5 and the new OCD-10 as of 10/1/15) with the DSM-5, expect the various professions and the recovery community to cling to their own special perspectives and their preferred terminology.

Did that explanation help with understanding the differences between Substance use, abuse, dependency, addiction, alcoholism, and chemical dependency?

Best wishes on your journey towards a happy life.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Steps to become a Substance Abuse Counselor.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Counseling questions

Counseling questions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How do you become a drug counselor?

What are the typical steps someone takes to become a substance abuse or Alcohol and Other Drug (AOD) Counselor?

The profession of substance abuse counselor is in flux.  There is a large chance that this path will change in the future and it can be different in one jurisdiction than in another part of the country.

Substance Abuse Counselors follow a different path than Social Workers, Professional Clinical Counselors or Marriage, and Family Therapist largely because their profession stems from different roots. Substance Abuse Counselors have been recognized as a professional discipline relatively recently.

The professions involved in psychotherapy have a hundred-year head start on the newer profession of substance abuse counseling.

Psychotherapy stems from the medical profession. The founders are MD’s like Freud and Jung. Psychiatrists are trained as MD’s first and then trained in mental health second. Psychologists have Doctorate degrees (Ph.D. or PsyD) involving at least 8 years of college. Licensed Counselors and Marriage and Family Therapists all have master’s degrees requiring, in most cases, 6 years of college education.

Social workers come from a slightly different origin. They began with “friendly visitors.” Their background is in welfare, social work, and providing aid and assistance. Most licensed social workers have master’s degrees (6 years of college) though some entry-level positions can be gotten with a 4-year degree. I expect that the term “social worker” in the future may be restricted to those with a degree in social work or possible to those with a master’s degree. Just working in a social work agency should not make you a “Social Worker.”

Substance Abuse Counselors come from a different world. Most substance abuse professionals have what we call “lived experiences” meaning they or someone close to them is in recovery. They have lived through the process of addiction and recovery and from first-hand experience, they know the difference between the disease of addiction and the life of recovery.

Most recovering people are suspicious of those counselors who learned about addiction or recovery from a textbook rather than from firsthand experience. We know of course that a doctor does not have to have personally had all the diseases he treats in order to be a superior physician. We wonder though why someone would choose to be a substance abuse counselor whose life has not been touched in some way by addiction, especially when we realize that substance abuse professionals often make less than their counterparts in other related fields.

Recently we have moved from, everyone who works in a recovery facility having lived experience only, to require that they also have some training in counseling, the disease of addiction, and the laws and regulations that involve counseling.

As more funding has been provided by the government for substance abuse treatment, society has asked, and rightfully so, what are the qualifications of those who do the counseling and what results are we getting for our money? The result of these questions has been to increase the qualifications needed to become a substance abuse professional.

Different jurisdictions have moved in different directions and things continue to change.

Some states or areas have instituted a form of licensing for substance abuse counselors. This has been resisted by longer established professions. The argument runs that it is confusing to the public when to be a psychotherapist or clinical counselor it requires 6 to 8 years of college, but the AOD counselor has a much lesser requirement. How comparable is a substance abuse counselor who has no education or only a few hours of training and should they get to use the term “licensed counselor?” Does the public understand that someone with a substance abuse counseling license has much less education than a licensed mental health counselor?

California so far has not seen fit to license substance abuse counselors. Here we have a system of registration and certification. The state does not so far register or certify AOD professionals. AOD counselors register with an organization and then complete supervised hours and an exam to become certified. How many hours of education and experience can vary dramatically from one registry to another.

Registered and certified counselors are not, at this point, allowed to set up private practices but must work for a licensed facility. Facilities are licensed by the state but this does not ensure any particular level of staff training other than a percentage of counselors must be registered or certified by some of the many registries that have gotten themselves listed with the state.

Under this system it is possible for a non-licensed person to open a facility and get that facility licensed, thereafter then can work as a registered person in their own facility. In fairness, it should be mentioned that most drug treatment facilities are operated by nonprofit companies.

Over time, of course, these regulations continue to increase the required skills and experience needed to become an AOD counselor.

So the path to becoming an AOD counselor requires, some level of knowledge and interest to begin with, usually by lived experience, some course of education which can vary anywhere from a weekend training to a 36 unit college certificate. And some number of hours of experience followed by a certification exam. In practice not all AOD counselors are equally trained.

If this is a profession you wish to pursue, I recommend that you check the most recent regulations in the jurisdiction in which you live. Consider also what the job prospects and pay scale is for this occupation in your area. And also look at how portable will your credential be if you chose to move. Some registrations or certifications are transferable and some are not.

Increasingly professionals in the substance abuse counseling field are continuing their education to the master’s level so that they are qualified to work not only with substance abuse disorders but in the area of mental health and co-occurring disorders.

Thanks to the readers who sent in this question. Best wishes on creating your happy life.

David Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why does the Earth need a day?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Earth.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Which Celestial Bodies get a day and which don’t?

Today my calendar reports that this is earth day. I have some very mixed feelings about this day.

First is just the idea that the earth, home to all us humans, as far as I know, gets this one day a year. Why an earth day and then why only once a year.

The sun gets one day a week called Sunday. But poor old Mother Earth, just one day a year. Granted without the sun we would not be able to hang in here on planet earth very long, still, why do we not give the earth equal billing and add an eighth day each week just devoted to Mother Earth?

The moon also has its day called Monday. Like the Sun our moon gets one day a week. Not Mother Earth, she gets only one day and that is poorly observed. We do special things every week on Sunday and for most of us we return to our regular employment on Monday but what if anything special do we do on Earth Day?

Which also raises the question of why is Earth Day written that way and not as Earthday as in Sunday and Monday?

Why do only the celestial bodies in our immediate neighborhood get a day? Do Mars and Saturn get their own special days? What about Pluto, I always liked him, he should get a day even if there is some question about his membership in the planet club.

Further consideration – is Earth Day a happy occurrence? Given the state of our planet, this day does not seem to be anything to celebrate. The ice is melting, the air is polluted and there is more and more debris and destruction.

You would think that after all the time we humans have been on this earth we would have reached some sort of peace treaty with Mother Earth. What we have done to her, all in the name of progress has been nothing short of appalling.

In any contest between mother earth, I as a hopeless human, tend to come down on the side of the humans. But all in all most of our efforts to improve the earth, tame her, and put her to the use of humans, have not worked out anywhere near the way we planned this.

Most of our improvements have left us coming up short on things we used to have. The forest we cut down has created less oxygen for us to breathe and more dust bowls. Those mines that brought us minerals to improve our lives, some of them left toxic wastes that render that old mountain uninhabitable. We also have discovered that our activities can give us all sorts of toxins and new diseases.

On the whole, our efforts to improve Mother Earth seem to be backfiring.

Our relationship with Mother Earth seems to have taken a turn for the worse. We are acting like a pack of descendants gone to stay with grandma for the holidays; we eat her food, trash her house, and treat her with great disrespect. At this point in the visit, grandma is hoping we will all pack up and go home.

I am thinking that when we have eaten Mother Earth out of house and home when we have so polluted the earth and depleted her resources, she may not be sorry to see us go.

You would think that after all this time of living off Mother Earth’s bounty we would behave better and treat her hospitality like we appreciated it.

One thing is clear, Mother Earth will be here still spinning on her axis and making trips around the sun long after we humans have vanished from the scene.

So if you find a forest you particularly love, cut it down to make paper so we can write books in praise of the vanishing forest. Let’s build as many buildings as possible even if they fall down and decay in the next few years. We need to give Mother Earth some things to work on fixing after we are all long gone.

Someone told me that Mother Earth only invented humans because she wanted a way to make Styrofoam. That may be true because our synthetics will surely outlast all of us.

Hope you are having a happy Earth Day and that you are finding that happiness does not come from what you have or own but from who you are on the inside.

Thanks for listening to me.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Are we in the middle of a spiritual famine?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Religion

Religious cemetery.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Is there a Higher Power shortage?

Recently I have been struck by the number of people who sit down with me to talk about their mental and emotional problems who say they are spiritual but can’t describe themselves as a member of any particular religion.

These clients know that they need some spiritual help, they often have some sort of general idea of a God or higher power that they feel could be particularly helpful to them, but they find no way to connect that belief in a higher power with any particular religious practice.

We know that for recovering people having a strong support system a key ingredient in their recovery. I suspect that having that resource is helpful in keeping other people mentally healthy also. But repeatedly I hear that despite multiple tries these folk are not getting their spiritual needs met at any particular religious organization.

As a professional, I try to not take sides in any religious controversies. It is not my place to tell you what you should believe. I find that having that spiritual belief, so long as it is helpful to you and does not encourage you to harm yourself or others, can be of great benefit to most everyone.

One question on the assessment form we use asks about the client having a particular religious or spiritual connection. Most clients can’t answer this one.

One common saying in recovery is that if you hang out in a barbershop you will get a haircut. We know this also applies to bars and crack houses, not getting a haircut there, but drinking and using drugs. So it makes sense that attending some sort of religious institution should help connect you with other supportive people who are working on their relationship with their higher power.

In trying to help clients find that support system, I often ask what religious or spiritual group they might choose to affiliate with. The suggestion here is that attending a particular church, temple, mosque, coven or what have you, might connect them with other people with similar spiritual beliefs. I make these suggestions despite my sometimes having personal misgivings about the particular religious group they have been affiliated with in the past.

A very large percentage of these folks report that they have tried and are unable to find a religious group that meets their spiritual needs.

It is not just my clients that have this problem. This situation is not unique to those who are in recovery from mental or emotional problems. It is not a special issue for just those who use or abuse drugs and alcohol. Nationwide surveys indicate that the number of people who report being spiritual rather than religious has been rising and in some surveys, those who describe themselves as spiritual rather than religious exceed those who have a particular religious affiliation.

It has been suggested that this move away from God and organized religion is the result of secular materialism and our modern culture. I find that hard to believe. Most of my clients have tried that culture of things and drugs, found it wanting, and are searching for some spiritual values.

There is a spiritual hunger that is not getting fed. This hunger is approaching famine stage.

One reason for this spiritual hunger is that the food being offered in so many religious institutions has spoiled.

We do not need to pick on any particular religion to see the effects of this spiritual spoilage.

Christian groups splitter and hate each other. Wars occur because of doctrinal differences. The Protestants fight the Catholics and then they fight each other. The Muslims divide up into Sunni and Shiite and they then bomb and kill each other.

Clearly these religions Gods are grumpy cantankerous, constipated old men who hate anyone who does not wear the right clothing and join the correct political party.

Too many of my clients have been harmed by someone under the guise of being the servant of some particular God. When I suggest taking the family to church the client may confide in me about being sexually or physically abused by a religious leader. They are afraid to leave their child alone with a religious leader.

They may have been told repeatedly that they are worthless and will never be of any value if they do not do the work prescribed by their religious leader. Once convinced you will never be satisfactory in your god’s eyes, you eventually give up trying. We call this learned helplessness.

When someone says they are an alcoholic I give thanks, I know where to send them. They will find a spiritual tradition and people who will accept them at an A.A. meeting. Drug addicts have N. A. I feel sorry for those who are merely depressed or anxious. I am not sure where to send them.

I find it hard to make religious referrals. Most places of worship do not want my clients. They dress funny, they have used drugs and some of them are mentally ill. Not many religions want those people around.

Where am I to send Mary Ann or Mary Sue? Churches do not want prostitutes or psychotic people coming to services. I am not sure I could make a referral for Mary Magdalena or even Jesus these days.

I am even worried about Mohammed if he were to return. If I send him to the wrong mosque will he die again, this time in a bombing?

Despite a church, mosque, or other religious institution on almost every corner, the spiritual famine continues. My only hope is that God is not restricted to doing business in a particular building and that spirituality can work anywhere.

So if your higher power has let you down consider a new search for a spiritual power and a spiritual home that can help you find that happy life you deserve.

For more on this topic take a look at a previous post here on counselorssoapbox.com about how to hire a God that is up to the task you need him for.

Wishing you the best on your road to a happy life

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

What if your Therapist loses their cool?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Therapy

Therapy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

What should you do if the therapist loses their cool with you in the session?

It was interesting to me that more than one search term included this idea of a counselor or therapist losing their composure with a client. Here are some basic thoughts.

Counselors like clients are people and sometimes they do things they later wish they hadn’t done. The way this gets handled depends on how far off the track the counselor has gotten.

Sometimes it’s the counselor that is inappropriate, sometimes it is the client.

If the counselor feels their buttons getting pushed, they are getting upset; this is most likely about the counselor. We, professionals, are all taught that in those situations we should get counseling for our issues, talk with our supervisor, or do other things to work on ourselves. What we should not do is take our problems out on the client. If we are unable to deal with our stuff and work with this client we owe it to the client to transfer them to someone who can.

Sometimes this thing that is upsetting us can be useful material for the counseling session. One way your therapist might handle this is to tell you that what you are doing or saying is getting them upset and then ask you “Do other people in your life also get upset when you do this?” This approach can be useful to the client to let them see how their behavior and statements are affecting others around them.

Talking about this issue is only useful before the counselor loses their cool.

If the counselor gets physical with the client and the client has not been physical first, that is not OK.  Counselors can be disciplined or even lose their licenses for acting inappropriately with clients. Yelling, cursing and other hurtful statements and behaviors are also not acceptable. These things are rare, or so I would like to believe, but yes they can happen.

Both parties in the relationship should always feel safe. If the counselor feels physically threatened then there needs to be some intervention to make them feel safe. Sometimes there is just a bad fit between the two people and the relationship needs to be changed.

The results of counseling are almost exclusively dependent on the relationship between the counselor and the client. Anything that damages this relationship harms the client’s progress. Counselors sometimes need to balance the need to maintain a helpful relationship with the need to tell the client the truth about how the things they say and do are affecting others.

Occasionally the counselor has done nothing wrong but the client does not like hearing what the counselor says and they become threatening or even physically violent.

Having an emotional or mental illness is no excuse for acting out and becoming physical with someone. If the client does that then the counselor may need to call the police and have that client arrested. We don’t like to do that, we use all our skills to de-escalate the situation and prevent the need for law enforcement, but sometimes it has to be done.

So if you have been in a situation with a professional who lost their cool with you, think carefully about was this about you or about them. If it was about you, while the behavior was not OK you can learn from it. If it was about them then it is probably time to change counselors.

If the prospect of changing providers is overwhelming take a look at a previous post here on counselorssoapbox.com where I talked about how to fire a counselor.

If this provider is not meeting your needs, is making you worse instead of better, you need to advocate for yourself and find someone who can help you.

Here is hoping that this helps those of you who feel that your clinician has lost their cool with you. If this has happened to you and you can share the event without harm to you consider telling the rest of us about your experience and how you have resolved this or are trying to resolve it.

Here is wishing you a speedy recovery and a happy life.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

How do you fire a psychologist or counselor?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Therapy

Therapy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Is it hard to say goodbye to your therapist?

There are several reasons you should say goodbye to a counselor and a few reasons you shouldn’t  Let’s look at these reasons first and then the how second.

Times you should stop seeing the therapist

1. If you have made the progress you need to make.

In managed care, we draw up a treatment plan. The goal is not a complete elimination of the symptoms. That would keep even normal humans in treatment forever. The goal of treatment should be to reduce the symptoms to a manageable level and to teach the client to be able to manage those symptoms in the future.

If your symptoms are under control and you feel you have the tools to live life without staying in therapy, you may be ready to move on. Ending this episode of therapy does not mean that you will never return to therapy with this or another counselor. It means that right now you don’t have a need to keep going to therapy.

2. If you are making NO progress.

Ethically a counselor should stop seeing you and refer you to someone else if they can’t help you. Sometimes we counselors want so much to be helpful it is hard to see when we are not the one that can help this client.

You’re bringing up the idea of ending therapy may come as a relief for your counselor who has been trying to think of a good way to tell you that you need to see someone else. Therapists do not want to abandon clients in need and it is hard for them to stop trying.

Sometimes a self-help group, peer counseling, or a friend support system is what you need just now.

Reasons you shouldn’t stop seeing this counselor

1. It is getting painful or difficult to talk about your problems.

Quitting therapy when the work gets hard or painful is a sure way to stay in your problem. When the work gets hard it is tempting to blame the therapist and change. It takes time for the new counselor to get to know you and you can put off really facing the issue for a while. This makes moving from one therapist to another tempting. Eventually, that issue will come up again and the pain is back.

Running from problems has kept a lot of people sick. Sometimes we use drugs and alcohol or romantic encounters. Other times people just change counselors. Either way, evading your issues will not get you better.

2. There will be negative consequences if you stop.

If you were court-ordered or need to complete the sessions to get your license back then stopping is a really bad idea.

If you are facing consequences as a result of stopping, think carefully before you do so. This probably means there are things about yourself you do not want to face.

How do you stop therapy?

There are oh so many ways but a few are more recommended than others. Counseling is all about the relationship and if you have been together with this counselor for any length of time you should have a good enough relationship to talk with them about this.

Most counseling relationships do not go one forever. Eventually, there will be a “termination stage,” to your counseling that involves the counselor preparing you to stop coming. If you bring this up the counselor should be willing to talk about where you are in the process, what else they think you need to accomplish and how you two will go about ending the counseling relationship.

If you have given this a try and the relationship is not working you owe it to yourself to tell the counselor that. Sometimes that discussion will result in taking a new approach and you will begin to make the progress you need to make.

With an independent private practice counselor, this can be as simple as saying no to another appointment and calling around to make an appointment elsewhere. If you have insurance that is paying for the treatment you should talk with your insurance provider about who else can see you and be prepared to give some reason why you need this change.

If you go to a large agency they may have rules and procedures for therapist changes. You need to ask how you go about doing this. While you may need to talk with a supervisor or administration about your desire to change you should always think of this as advocating for yourself and for the care you need.

If you find this especially difficult look for a case manager or patients advocate that can help you with the process.

Making progress in counseling is about finding a provider that you can develop a good working relationship with and then about doing work. Here is wishing you the best on your process of recovery.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel