Tag Archives: feelings emotions

Social or anti-social drinker? Dangers of emotional drug use.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Bottles of alcohol.

Alcoholic Beverages.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Using drugs to regulate emotions is high-risk behavior.

We have all heard and seen the use of drugs, especially alcohol to alter your mood. The media has bought into this and it is a common perception. If you feel bad then you need a drink.

This is the worst possible way to use any substance.

People who are sad drink, to cheer themselves up. The angry person has a few to calm down why doesn’t this work?

Absolutely drinking and other drugs can change the way you feel. You feel a little down so you have a few. For a while, you feel better. That drinking makes you forget why you were down in the first place. Then it wears off.

As the alcohol wears off the feeling returns only now you have the consequences of drinking, money spent, maybe a hangover, maybe just an empty feeling that you are sad and nothing is getting better. So you need to drink again.

Each time you drink you feel a mood swing. When it wears off your mood moves back to where it came from. Once you learn the mood swing that accompanies the use of your drug of choice it is reliable. Too reliable.

Over time, as tolerance builds it will take more of that drug to get the same feeling. Or the same amount will do less. Either way, the tendency is to do more, drink more, to try to change the way you feel. Each time the drug wears off you end up lower than where you were before you used.

Eventually, you need to drink or use all the time if you want to keep feeling good or stay out of that blackness. Then something changes.

You find that when the drug wears off you feel worse than before. You need to drink a few now just to get back to where you started. Eventually, you will need to drink just to feel normal. Whatever normal is for you and for many of us that normal was the reason we started to drink or use in the first place.

At this point, no amount of use will get you back to the feeling OK place. If only using and drinking could help you cope but at some point that substance that promised to be your solution, it has become your problem. Now you are drinking and using just to get by. You may reach a point where you can’t get back to normal anymore. Now you need some of that hair of the dog that bit you just to be able to function at all.

People who use alcohol because they are angry, find that once drunk they lose control of their emotions. That alcohol, it reduces inhibitions. A couple of drinks makes you social in the beginning but later a few drinks can make you antisocial. Under the influence, disinhibited, you may do things that you never would have done sober.

That person who needs a few to get up the courage to say what they think is now acting on that suppressed rage. One survey concluded that the vast majority of people in prison were drunk or high in the 24 hours before they committed the crime that sent them away.

That supposed friend that was helping you cope, your drug of choice, has it become the reason you are in jail or homeless?

People who are sad. Who drink to cheer themselves up, find they can forget their troubles for a while but eventually those troubles find them. And now those troubles have become worse because of failed responsibilities and things done and said while under the influence.

We know that people who are sad and depressed who drink are 55 times more likely to attempt suicide. Often with completed suicides and overdose deaths, there is alcohol in the bloodstream that reduced the inhibitions and permitted the act that brought this life to an end.

A single drink on a social occasion may make for fun. But if you find you need that drink to have fun, that without the drink, or the drug, your life is full of emotions that you just can’t stand, then that drink or drug is not your friend anymore, it has become your tormentor.

Having to drink or use to regulate emotions places you at high risk for addiction. Alcoholism, suicide or homicide. It also can induce mental and emotional illnesses or make a pre-existing mental health problem significantly worse.

You can’t learn much when unconscious and those emotional regulation lessons you learned while under the influence, there is a strong chance that you got those emotional lessons wrong.

Drinking and using for emotional reasons can take you in a really bad direction.

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Emotional Chameleon or naturally empathetic?

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By David Joel Miller MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Emotional chameleon.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Do you soak up other’s emotions like a sponge?

If you find that the way you feel changes when you are around certain people you may be an emotional chameleon.

Emotional chameleons have difficulty identifying what they feel and as a result, they are at risk to assume the feelings of those they are around. They were feeling fine when they entered the classroom but within a few minutes, they have adopted the sad feelings as well as the behaviors of someone who came to class depressed.

We are all affected by the feelings of others around us but the emotional chameleon is unaware that they are changing emotional states throughout the day as they move around others and adopt the feelings of those around them.

Be careful who you hang with, you might catch their emotions as well as their behaviors.

Some people are naturally empathetic. That is not the same thing as an emotional chameleon. The empathetic person can see and sense what others around them are feeling. The can understand what that person is feeling and behave appropriately.

Some people just are not good at empathy. Someone comes up to you and there are in tears, you might ask what is wrong. They tell you that a family member just died.

Someone with low empathy might make a joke about the funeral home should be running a two for the price of one sale with all the deaths going around. A more empathetic person might respond with some conversation about how this person was handling the loss and how can we all be supportive. The emotional chameleon will start crying and tell this person all about the deaths in their family going back to the turn of the century.

Counselors are trained to be empathetic, that skill of being with the other person, and picking up on how they must be feeling. Humans have mirror neurons that help us understand what the other person must be feeling. This helps us to behave appropriately and promotes social connection if you pay attention to the other.

The empathetic person can understand what the other person is feeling without being swept away by the feelings.

Not so for the emotional chameleon. They quickly take on the feelings of others. It is as if they have no feelings of their own and they need to absorb other’s emotions to know how and what to feel.

If you find that you are particularly sensitive to other’s feelings there are several things that you can do to keep yourself grounded and avoid emotional contagion.

Learn to identify what you feel and distinguish this from what others around you are feeling. This process of work with feelings begins by noticing that you are feeling something, find the place in your body that you feel this thing. Next, identify that feeling. This means studying feelings and developing a vocabulary to identify them when you have them. Lastly, learn to vary your responses and behavior depending on what feeling you are having.

Having strengthened your own feelings system you will be at less risk of catching someone else’s emotion. The more you know about your feelings the better you will be at being empathetic and understanding what others are feeling without having to catch your feelings from others in order to feel.

This also allows you to be with someone who is having a negative feeling without having to take that feeling as your own and take it home with you.

Are you high in natural empathy or are you an emotional chameleon who is at risk to catch another feeling from someone else every time you change locations?

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Finding the recovery door

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Row of doors

Picking the right door.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Why this time recovery just might take.

“This program has really helped me, ” the client said. I had to wonder why. They had been in several programs before and none of them had worked. I thought of all the usual reasons.

We like to think that every client needs to be ready. The old way of thinking about that was to say that people need to “hit bottom.” The assumption here was that until things get really, really, bad you might not be willing to give up that familiar problem.

This hitting bottom idea is most often applied to people in substance abuse recovery but experience has taught me that the same process of looking for and finding recovery happens to those people who have a mental or emotional issue. Sometimes people have both.

One person’s bottom may be getting arrested for a DUI or being so anxious they miss work again and lose their job. For another person, their bottom may be a total loss of family, friends, and job. Some people find recovery when they are homeless, some not even then.

So when I see someone who has been through various programs I always wonder what will be different this time.

“I knew there was recovery out there” the client replied, “but every time I got to the recovery door I just didn’t go in.” I knew they weren’t talking about programs or even about the number of therapists they had seen. That list was in the file and there were plenty.

“What door?” I asked.

“The recovery door.” The client said again. I knew there was recovery behind that door but I was just afraid to open the door and go through it. That would mean changing my life and when I got there I was just afraid of what else might change so I never walked through and entered recovery.” They explained.

In recovery, it takes whatever it takes for someone to be ready to walk through that door. It doesn’t do any good to try to pull them through the door kicking and screaming. The best I can ever do is hold the door open and let them catch a glimpse of recovery. Maybe they will build up some desire for this thing called recovery, especially when they see others who look like them who have found recovery.

I have heard other ways of saying this. The metaphors may be different but the sentiment is the same.

People go to programs and they get a set of “tools” then they don’t take those tools out of the package and get them dirty. They don’t use the recovery tools to solve their problems.

We get close to that door to a new life and then out of fear of the unknown, we are afraid to take that last step and walk through the door into a new happy life.

Is there some life change you need to make to find your recovery? Do you need to reach out for help? Should you be attending a program or a self-help group?

What do you need to be walking away from and what should you be moving towards?

No matter how long it takes to get there are you finally ready to walk through the recovery door?

Here is wishing you a happy, recovered life.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why love and counseling don’t mix – ethical Loophole 4

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Falling in love in recovery.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

This time love is not the answer.

We thoroughly enjoy our romance. Everyone can connect with the story of Cinderella and the price, wouldn’t it be nice if every commoner girl could find and marry her prince charming?

There is a whole category of books devoted to romance. There are plenty of films that script out the story of someone who finally meets this wonderful person who makes their life complete, and they live happily ever after. It is when we try to bring that fantasy into the real world that things go wrong.

Men, particularly older men have this fantasy, that should some woman, usually, a beautiful younger woman, enter their life, they will have wild passionate sex and live happily ever after. As long as this stays in the world of fiction this may cause few problems.

When these fantasies make their way into the counseling room this looks less like a flowery romance and more like a fatal car crash viewed in slow motion.

It is not unusual for a client to find they are falling in love with their therapist. They may be weak, vulnerable, and needing love and affection. Clinicians are taught to be aware of this and to work on helping the client learn to love again without taking unfair advantage of the client and becoming that new romantic partner.

Some codes of ethics say that a therapist or counselor should never date or become romantically involved. Some set limits, 2 years, five years, or more. The thought here is that after many years of not being in a professional relationship, then should you meet a former client on a cruise or at a school function you might establish a relationship. Even here the counselor is supposed to make a note in the chart indicating they thought about this, that enough time has passed and they believe this will not harm the client.

This is critical; will falling in love with former client harm them? By the way, ending therapy and giving the client a love letter saying call me in two years on date X and then we can date. That is just as bad as starting up the relationship while the counselor is still seeing them.

Given all these warnings why do counselors still engage in romantic and sexual relationships with clients?

Every time the new professional magazine arrives we see a list of professionals whose licenses have been suspended or revoked. Counselors who started using drugs or abused alcohol is always a big one. But right up there, sometimes in first place, are the reports of therapists that engaged in sex with a client.

Why does this happen? What is the ethical loophole that people stick their heads through that ends up strangling them?

Frequently this ethics issue begins with the counselor entertaining the notion that yes sometimes it is possible to fall in love with a client and live happier ever after. No, they would not do it, but they can see how it might be all right sometimes for some counselors and clients.

This can also start with the idea that it is possible for a counselor to develop an outside social relationship or friendship, without it becoming sexual. Sometimes it starts with attending a social event, going to a movie or having dinner together. There are all the usual excuses, the client needs to feel safe going out, we are helping them learn to make friends or socialize.

But having once said that it may be OK to have some dual relationship with a client that sometimes it might be OK for some counselors and clients to fall in love and have a romantic sexual relationship, it becomes possible that this time, they and this client, that is one of those exceptions to the rule.

Once we start making exceptions, looking for loopholes, sooner or later we are at risk to put our heads through that hole. Why should we care if an occasional therapist has sex with a client, maybe the code of ethics is too strict?

We should care because those relationships are inherently unequal and have a serious potential to harm the weaker party, commonly this weaker person is the client.

Falling in love with a client, that one is always a bad idea. Beware the tendency to look for loopholes. Many an unwary counselor has tried to put their head through this one and ended up hung.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Should an addict take psych meds?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Drugs

Medications.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How safe is it for someone in recovery from drugs or alcohol to take psych meds?

Many recovering people are worried about the effects of taking psychiatric meds on their recovery. The recovery community has long been divided on this issue. Here is some background on the topic and my thoughts as a professional counselor.

Any decision to take, start or stop any medication should be talked over with your doctor. There can be side effects, withdrawal effects and the effects of the medication can change over time as your body adjusts to the effects. Never make sudden changes to meds without talking to your doctor.

Unfortunately, not all doctors are equally informed when it comes to the area of addiction and psychiatric medication. You need to be an informed consumer. Ask questions and talk these issues out with your doctor. Here are some things to consider in making your decision about taking psychiatric meds.

One long-standing belief in some recovery circles is that if you are taking medication then you are not clean, you are still using a drug to alter the way you feel. I think this is a bogus argument.

If you have a medical condition and there is a med that will help you, by all means, take that med. Diabetics need insulin and using that should in no way interfere with or compromise your sobriety.

Are you taking your meds AS PRESCRIBED!

This question is important. It is not should you take them but are you using them correctly.

Two med compliance issues arise for people in recovery. One they tend to play doctor and one day they take the med then the next day when they feel better they skip the meds. Most meds and psychiatric meds are especially in this group; need to be taken every day. You need a certain level in your bloodstream to be effective. Taking them some days and not others can result in developing tolerance more rapidly, or can prevent building tolerance and can result in them not working correctly when you start taking them again.

Do not do the on and off thing with prescribed meds. Take them as prescribed.

Second problem – If one is good 30 should work better right?

If you find yourself boosting the dose, taking more than was prescribed, this is the dangerous path to addiction and problems. First, most psych meds do not work that way. More is not better. The correct dose is what you need and only you and your doctor working together can figure that one out. If taking more of most psych meds makes you feel better, then this may be more of a placebo effect than the meds. Talk to your doctor and your counselors about those issues.

As a counselor what can I tell you about psych meds and their risk for recovering people? Here are my thoughts based on experience for whatever they are worth. If this gets you thinking for or against, please talk this over with your doctor.

There are four main categories (based on use not chemical formula) of psych meds, Antidepressants, Mood stabilizers (anti-mania), antipsychotics, and Anti-anxiety meds.

Let’s look at these one at a time and let me tell you what clients who have taken them, tell me about the effects they have had on their recovery. I will sneak in a few things from the effects of drugs and alcohol on the body and the brain class I teach. For more on this topic check either “Drug Use and Abuse, Maisto, Galizio and Connors” or “Uppers Downers and All Arounders, Inaba, and Cohen.” Any recent edition has good information.

1. Antidepressants.

These are NOT happy pills. They need to build up slowly over time and it can take 30 or 45 days to have an effect. You must take them every day as prescribed.

No self-respecting addict will take a pill today to feel better a month from now. No one in recovery has told me they had any problem with an antidepressant. If you don’t need them they just don’t do much and pass out of your system.

Occasionally someone will have a sudden, week or ten days, response to an antidepressant this makes me think that the person may have bipolar disorder or that this is a medication-induced hypomanic episode. If that happens, talk it over with your doctor. This is rare in my experience though I suspect psychiatrists see this more than a recovery counselor hears about it.

Either way, I don’t worry about clients in substance abuse recovery taking an anti-depressant.

2. Mood stabilizers (anti-mania.)

Mood stabilizers are used to treat Bipolar and other mood instability problems. I am told they do not make you feel any particular way. They seem to just take the edge off.

Some of these have side effects that people find unpleasant. If you need them you need them if not you will not want to take them. Either way, there is not a lot of abuse potential for recovering people.

3. Anti-psychotics.

There are two main kinds of antipsychotics the older ones or typical and the newer atypical. Some of the older ones are very sedating and they tended to be overused in prisons and institutions to keep people “zombie out.” If you like being stoned and nodding out all the time then you may want to discuss with your doctor taking the newer atypical antipsychotics.

The newer atypical ones, no one has said they like how it feels enough to abuse it. Mostly they do not like the risk of weight gain that comes with these. If you take an antipsychotic invest some time in diet and exercise and try to keep the weight off.

All in all, antipsychotics do not seem to be a big issue for those who are in recovery.

Not taking an antipsychotic if you need one, is a major risk for relapse if you are in recovery.  Getting rid of or managing hallucinations or delusions are best done with prescribed medication and counseling, not street drugs.

4. Anti-anxiety meds.

This one seems to cause the most problems for people in recovery.

If you need them, you really need them, and prescribed meds are a whole lot better than alcohol or street drugs for managing anxiety.

The worry with this group of meds is that many, (probably most) are tranquilizers. People can and do abuse these. So if you are one of those “the more pills the better” people, you will need to have that hard talk with your doctor about the risks and benefits of these meds. Let that doctor know you are in substance abuse recovery and that you are concerned about the effects of meds on your recovery.

Also with anti-anxiety meds take them EXACTLY as prescribed. Do not take extras unless the doctor has said it is OK and if they are to be used when needed try to get through as many things as possible without “needing” to take them.

Anxiety disorders are a time when social supports may be absolutely essential to your recovery. Whenever possible reach for the phone and talk with your support system before you reach for a pill.

There you have it, my opinion on psych meds. Most help and have a low risk of abuse. If you need them, you need them and do not be afraid to take them as prescribed. If you find yourself abusing them, talk with everyone on your treatment team, the doctor, and the therapist about these issues.

One last aside, those who do the best in recovery use every resource they can. Meds help but they will not do the whole job. You need a head change, a change in your way of thinking, and you need a good support system if you want to go the rest of the way in recovery.

Best wishes for your happy life.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Pretending to be happy?

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5

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Happy faces

Happiness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How much effort does it take to try to be happy?

Are you one of those people who grew up trying to be happy, trying to look happy for a parent, for friends, or those around you? Were you pretending to be happy but you never really felt it?

After long periods of trying to be happy, of pretending so that you don’t make others sad, you lose touch with how you really feel.

You may have despaired of ever really feeling happy. Happiness for you was something you faked for others, but deep down inside you never really felt it. You began to wonder if you would ever genuinely feel happy the way others appeared to experience it every day.

For this effort to try to feel the way you should, the way others tell you that you should feel, you pay a high price. You lose touch; become disconnected, from how you are really feeling. You begin to doubt that you will ever have a genuinely happy experience the way others do.

You may give up on happiness and opt for not feeling so much pain. You may use drugs or alcohol to numb out or you might disconnect from your feelings altogether.

One cause of this disconnect between your feelings and you, and there can be many causes, is those adults who did not validate your feelings. When you said you were sad they said you had nothing to be sad about. You began to question what you felt and what you should feel.

Most of us know what anger feels like. But you may have been told that it’s not acceptable to feel anger, so you tried your hardest to feel an approved feeling. Before long you need others to tell you what it is you are feeling as you struggle to feel the way you should feel, rather than the way you do feel.

Some of you gave up on the idea of feeling happy or content or accepted. Those positive feelings were beyond your reach. You opted instead to avoid feelings and to try to feel the way those around you told you to feel. You may have thought that you would never get there and tried to accept your lot as one whose role was to make others happy, not to find those feelings for yourself.

Over time this trying to feel the way you should and the denial of what you are truly feeling in favor of pretending to experience the feelings others ascribe to you, these behaviors extract a heavy price. You become increasingly disconcerted from feelings and your inside becomes empty.

There are solutions. You can find happiness. Acting in happy ways, doing things that you find enjoyable can help, but only if you stop pretending and let yourself feel what it is that you truly feel.

The road to happiness runs through you. It requires getting to know you, that fearless and patient path of self-exploration. Finding happiness also requires developing a palate of feelings that bring the color back into your life. With the joy and pleasure, there will also be some pain and discomfort. But accepting that this is a real life and sometimes you will not like it is part of finding out who you are.

Be very cautious when other people tell you who you are, especially family members and those misery-loves-company friends. What they say is only their opinion. You do not have to create the things they tell you.

Other people’s opinions of who you are and what you should feel are things they hand you, nothing more. Like things that they might pass to you in a restaurant, some are worth eating and some are already destined for the garbage. You don’t have to keep everything you are handed in the restaurant for the rest of your life. Some of it goes in the trash on the way out. Some things you use for a while and leave behind. Let other’s opinions of you be like something they pass to you over dinner. You decide if you want this or you will trash it.

Some things others tell us, like a napkin given at the dinner, may indicate they have seen a part of us that needs cleaning up. If two or more people tell you that same thing you may need to look at this part of you. Think about this for a while and see if they are right. But just because they hand you a napkin to wipe the ketchup off your face does not mean that you will have a dirty face forever.

Consider that you determine who you want to be and how you will get there. Along the way you are entitled to feel and think anything you want, as long as you don’t try to impose those thoughts on others.

Get to know yourself, accept yourself as just fine the way you are, but with the potential to be and do more, and you will find that you just might discover that true happiness, the kind you do not have to fake for anyone, around the next life corner.

Are you ready to stop pretending to be happy and begin the hunt for a life worthy of the person you can become?

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

5 motivation skills you should learn

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Motivation.

Motivation.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Attitude will only get you so far – you need skills to stay motivated.

When people talk about motivation we hear a lot about some people having motivation and others not having it. Having a positive, motivated attitude is good, but that will only take you so far.

To get motivated and stay motivated you need some skills and these are abilities you can learn. Research suggests that simply wanting something is not enough; you need to develop the skills needed to make those dreams a reality.

1. Self-motivated people challenge themselves.

People who are high in motivation have learned how to learn new things. To them, a new situation is a challenge they know they can overcome because whatever information is needed they believe they can acquire it.

Self-motivated people seek out these challenges because they have the belief that if they try something they can accomplish it. This belief is built up over time by trying small things and being successful at them.

Self-motivated people may like applause or recognition from others, they may enjoy the money or recognition that comes their way, but they also are extremely pleased when they are able to do something that they have set out to accomplish.

2. Motivated people make a consistent effort.

Sprints won’t win any distance races and life is essentially a long-distance race. Being highly motivated one day and getting a lot done pales next to the person who day in and day out does a little of what is needed to get the task done.

Lots of people start new projects, new businesses, schools, or relationships, but they fail because they think that you can do it all in the beginning and then no more effort will be required.

To be successful you need to keep doing a little or more every day, whether you feel motivated or not.

Do some work on your goal and it will produce motivation, not the other way round. Every writer hears the way to write is to sit with your rear in the chair and pound some keys. Eventually, you will get something done. The rest of life is like that also. Do a little each day and watch the results add up.

3. Manage your time.

Enough time for that great achievement will never come. Big projects get done one step at a time. Motivated people create a time budget just as they create a money budget. Each day includes some time for working on reaching your goal.

Don’t wait till you have extra time to write that book or start that business. Begin doing the footwork now. If all you have is thirty minutes a day, spend that on moving towards your goals and see what progress you can make.

4. Have a plan to reach your goal.

Great achievements rarely happen by accident. Yes, motivated people can make good use of opportunities when they appear, but they recognize those opportunities because they are already on the path to their goal.

Any achievement becomes more probable when you can break the task up into small steps and work on a little step each day. Make a plan and keep on the path towards your goal.

5. Continue to monitor your progress towards your goal.

If you follow a bad map you can get really lost. Some of us created plans for our lives and left steps out. This does not mean your life needs to be a failure. Any good plan needs frequent monitoring and revision. Keep an eye on the goal but keep checking your map to make sure you are headed in the right direction.

Work on these five skills and you will become a lot more motivated and can keep that motivation strong over the long course of life.

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

What sense of smell – odors – tells us about mental illness?

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By David Joel Miller MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Sense of smell.
Photo courtesy of pixabay.

Is there a connection between the sense of smell and mental illness?

There is a body of research that tells us that there is a connection between the sense of smell, your ability to recognize and identify odors, and the chance you have or will develop a mental illness. There are also cases of olfactory hallucinations; smelling things that everyone else is sure is not there.

While this research suggests some connections, to me the articles I have read are short of conclusive.

An altered sense of smell has been linked to disorders as divergent as Schizophrenia, Bipolar disorder, autism, and eating and feeding disorders.

Smelling it does not mean you can identify the smell.

One thing we do know is that the ability to identify an odor is not the same thing as the ability to detect one. People are more likely to like a smell they can identify and unknown smells are more likely to be considered unpleasant. Memory and its connection to smells are important for many reasons.

Smells trigger memories.

This is significant because smells are powerful memory cures. People who have a poor ability to notice smells or to remember them are at a disadvantage in remembering things that might be associated with those smells.

Schizophrenia and odors.

The disorder most cited as having olfactory (odor or smell) impairment is Schizophrenia. More interesting yet is the repeated observation that males with schizophrenia are far more likely to have olfactory disruption than females (Nguyen et al, 2010.) These males with schizophrenia had disruption of odor identification, memory, odor detection abilities, and poor odor discrimination, the ability to tell one smell from another.

Females in these studies rather than not being able to recognize or identify smells were more likely to smell foul or unpleasant things that were in fact not detectable to others. The conclusion was that women have more olfactory hallucinations and men more loss of ability to smell.

Schizophrenia is characterized by negative symptoms, which are the loss of some abilities others have, as well as positive symptoms such as hallucinations. Someone with schizophrenia will likely have or experience social withdrawal, attention problems, difficulty making decisions, and perceptual problems.

People with schizophrenia also have high rates of olfactory identification problems, discrimination of smells, olfactory memory, and olfactory detection errors, principally in males. Poor olfactory discrimination is also found in close relatives of people who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia even when those relatives have not received the diagnosis themselves.

Olfactory identification problems do not appear to be found in people with Bipolar disorder, Major depressive disorder, other related psychosis, or anorexia nervosa.

Alzheimer’s, and Parkinson’s diseases and smells.

Olfactory hallucinations and discrimination deficits are seen in those with Alzheimer’s, and Parkinson’s diseases in addition to Schizophrenia.

One researcher reports that people with Bipolar Disorder have some olfactory impairment but that they are less bothered by unpleasant smells that those people who have Schizophrenia (Cummings et al., 2010.)

Autism and odors.

In Autism olfactory identification is reported as impaired. Individuals who had been diagnosed with Autism preferred Lemon and Orange smells, to lavender. They disliked most other strong smells. In Autism strong smells are linked to perceptions of taste and result in high rates of food refusal and selectivity (Hrdlicka et al., 2010.)

Olfactory hallucinations.

One condition of note is olfactory hallucinations. Some patients reported a foul-smelling order coming from themselves. This odor was not detected by staff. This olfactory hallucination is referred to as Reference Syndrome and was reported in patients with temporal lobe epilepsy. Other olfactory hallucinations have been reported in clients with substance-induced Psychotic Disorder, Hypomania with Alcohol dependence combined with hypomania (Luckhaus et al., 2003.)

There does not appear to be any connection between depression and olfactory dysfunction (Scinska et al., 2008.)

Migraines and odors.

Olfactory dysregulation has also been linked to people who have frequent migraines, with over 45% of people experiencing migraines reporting odors are triggers for those migraines. In migraine suffers, almost 25% had a fear of a particular odor, and an equal number reported taste abnormalities when having a migraine episode. MRI’s showed that women were eight times more likely to have brain activation from odors. This makes one wonder if many of the issues with odor detection, memory, and discrimination are more linked to gender than to a particular psychiatric diagnosis.

Other studies have reported significant episodes of visual hallucinations during migraine attacks and make the point that visual and auditory hallucinations are so pronounced and readily identifiable most people are not asked about and do not report either olfactory (smells) or gustatory (taste) hallucinations.

In people with schizophrenia, 75% reported auditory hallucinations, 37% reported somatic hallucinations while olfactory hallucinations were reported by 18% of the patients which is slightly more than the 14% who reported visual hallucinations. Despite being so common, few clients report olfactory hallucinations and clinicians are not generally looking for them.

While people with schizophrenia may experience hallucinations in all modalities, providers frequently stop asking about hallucinations after the first or second reported hallucinations.

Stress and hallucinations.

Researchers find that people who report being under “stress” are more likely to have experienced olfactory hallucinations and one study concludes that stress may lower the threshold for hallucinations of any type.

Because the major part of the olfactory sensing part of the brain is on one side of the brain researchers have suggested that there may be a difference in the way in which left-handed and right-handed people experience olfactory hallucinations.

While olfactory hallucinations are readily identifiable in people who have migraines they are less identifiable but more likely to be described as unpleasant in those with epilepsy.

While we still can’t use olfactory or gustatory hallucinations or dysfunction as makers for a particular mental illness, we know abnormalities in the sense of smell and taste may be factors in the development of a mental or emotional problem.

Have you experienced an alteration in your sense of smell or taste and no medical reason has been found? Care to share?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Do therapists tell parents what kids say?

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By David Joel Miller.

How much confidentiality should children get?

Do therapists tell parents what kids say?
Photo courtesy of pixabay

This can be a very touchy issue. Nothing more infuriates a parent than the sense of loss of control over their child’s care. Parents routinely want to know all about what their child is talking about in therapy. Children often ask “Do you have to tell my parents,” before they will disclose something. There are no simple answers.

Two primary questions here.

1. How much should the parents be told?

2. How much are they legally entitled to know?

There are good reasons why parents need to know what is going on with their children. There are also some equally good reasons why they should not be told. Let me try to explain both.

Consider this a general answer and deliberately vague, lots of factors play into this situation and these vary widely from location to location. So the legal practice in one state may not apply in another. From the therapist’s point of view, there are something’s the parents need to know and other things that will interfere with the process if the therapist tells them.

The exact legal requirements are another issue that varies with the jurisdiction.

The parent, therapist, and the child may also discuss ahead of time just what things will be told to the parent and what should be kept confidential.

Some parents want to know everything the child says. They want the counselor to pry those secrets out of their child. They ask us things like “Is he doing drugs?” “Is she having sex?” The great illusion of some parents is that if they knew all their children’s secrets they could better control the child’s behavior and “Keep them from making mistakes or doing something wrong.”

Let me give you a real-life example of a parent’s effort to control their child’s behavior and how it backfired. This particular example is based on a news story, not my clinical practice so parents, if I have seen your child, relax this is not your kid. I have imagined a few things that were likely to happen after the news account left off.

Dad was worried about his daughter staying out late and was suspicious she was having sex with one of the boys from her school. Dad wants to put a stop to this behavior. He gets an adult this girl trust to talk with her. Have that sex talk. She reveals that yes after going to a local hangout she and this boy did go off and have sex. The girl is 17 the boy is 18. So this sex, in my state, would have been illegal as statutory rape but not reportable by the counselor as child sexual abuse.

Dad is told. He becomes enraged. Dad pressures the police and the local D. A. to arrest this older boyfriend for statutory rape. Dad also files a lawsuit against the hangout where the two of them met for endangering the morals of children. Let’s not worry about the merits of a suit like this just now. The boy is in jail, the hangout is fighting to stay in business and now checks all the kid’s ID’s and no longer allows anyone under 18 to enter. Everyone in this small town knows who had the sex that caused the problems for all of the other teens.

The result?

This Girl, now furious with her father, sneaks out her window, goes to another spot, and hooks up with a couple of older guys. She is going to get even with dad. She is now having sex with lots of older guys, not just the one cute potential boyfriend who is away in jail.

A better approach would have been to talk with the girl about love, relationships, and the dangers of unprotected sex.

Parents make the mistake of thinking that they need to control children’s behavior to keep them safe. So very often that “protected” child turns 18 and now all bets are off.

Parents, at some point in your child’s life, probably in the teen years, your role should move from protecting your child to teaching them how to make good choices. That learning to make choices part scares most parents. What if they make a mistake?

Parents fear this because frequently those parents have made all those mistakes themselves.

We all need to live our lives, learn to make choices, for better or worse, and sometimes in the process, we fall down and get hurt.  A good parent can loosen their grip enough to let the child make some decisions and learn from them before they reach the point of having to face those huge, life-altering, decisions all alone.

Lots of teens ask me to not tell their parents things because they know they have messed up. Often the parents are very understanding and can help the teen solve the problem. Embarrassment and the keeping of secrets are not helpful to the teen.

Some reasons parents should not be told what their child says.

If there is a danger the parent will overreact, or harm the child then the counselor may be ethically bound to keep things from the parent.

More than one parent was concerned about what the child was saying because the parent was engaged in illegal activity, used drugs, or had some other secret they wanted to hide.

If you are the parent whose child is in therapy, trust the therapist to tell you what needs to be told, to report what legally has to be reported, and to try to help your child through the process of learning to make their own decisions.

If you are that teen in therapy, have this conversation with your counselor. Ask them what sorts of things they will be telling to your parents and what is confidential. Unless there is a safety issue involved it is generally best to let your parents know what problems you are dealing with and the counselor can help you with the process of telling them. Don’t let embarrassment keep you from getting help. We all make mistakes in life. The smart people know they need to fix those mistakes and sometimes that means asking for help.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Desperate for friends? – Signs of a destructive friendship.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

group of friends.

Friendship.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

5 Ways to evaluate a friendship.

Some friendships are destructive; some drain the life out of you. Why then do we hold on to those friendships even when there is something inside of us telling us this is not right?

Certainly one quality we want in a friend is someone who cares about us and likes us all the time. It is not much of a friendship if their feelings towards us are dependent on us being a certain way or doing a certain thing for them.

If we expect that kind of total acceptance from a friend then we might tell ourselves that we need to be there for them even when it is painful or has its emotional price. How then do we decide if this friendship has become toxic? When do we need to let friends go?

Some of us stay with unhealthy friends out of guilt or duty. We feel we owe it to them to continue the friendship. Others stay in unhealthy relationships because of an inner fear that if we did not have this friend then we might have no one.

It takes courage to look at this relationship and realize that this “friendship” is not healthy. When you spend time with this friend how does this make you feel?

1. Friends should be uplifting.

You should part company with a friend feeling better than when you met. That conversation you had with the friend should make you feel happy and good about yourself.

If you leave your time with that “friend” feeling drained, down or bad about yourself then you should reconsider this relationship.

2. How do you feel when away from this person?

Do you feel relieved that the visit is over? This is clearly a bad sign. Do you dread seeing them again but feel you owe it to them to visit?

A clear sign of a toxic friendship is the dread you get when you think about going to see them.

3. What do you do when you are together?

If the time together is all about the other person, when you are there to cater to their wants and needs, then this is a one-way friendship and they are on the taking end.

Some people are ill. We may take care of them. When we leave this person we may feel a sense of joy at having been able to be helpful. But if that person seems to constantly demand more, then this is not a healthy relationship.

4. What does this person like to do when you are not around?

If this friend’s primary interest is in doing things that make you uncomfortable then this is not a healthy relationship.

People who like to drink, get drunk, or do drugs, want those around them to do those same things. Is there pressure to be like them?

Does being around them place you at unnecessary risk? Are they involved in an illegal lifestyle? Then how healthy is it for them to involve you in their problems?

5. Do you feel pride or shame when you see how they treat others?

If how this person is treating others makes you feel bad, then consider that they are probably treating you that same way but you are avoiding looking at those behaviors.

Positive friends should make you proud, not ashamed of their behavior.

Take a look at your friendships, and the other relationships in your life, look at the unhealthy ones and consider how you can cut these off or limit your contact with people who are harmful to you and your recovery.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel