By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Forgiveness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
To be happy, you need to forgive yourself.
One of the hardest things to do sometimes is to forgive yourself. For a lot of good reasons, your recovery needs, to begin with healing the wounds within and forgiving yourself. Self-hatred and loathing stand in the way of many people’s recovery. While you may never be able to forget some things, learning to forgive is an important step on your pathway to happiness. Here are some reasons that you need to work on forgiving yourself and others.
What you hate you keep in you.
When you’re busy hating something, yourself, or others, you can’t let it go. To continue to hate, you must hold on to things. The harder you hold onto them for more pain you inflict on yourself. Healing often begins with letting go of the thing that is causing you the pain. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you may have made and move on.
Happiness requires forgetting and forgiving.
If you are holding onto the regrets of the past, you can’t enjoy the present nor can you move forward into the future. Having a life full of regrets crowds out the room needed for happiness to grow. Don’t fill up your present life with regrets about the past.
Letting it go is healing.
Letting things go does not mean that you need to let people who hurt you in the past back into your life. Holding onto resentments keeps you stuck in the suffering. Let go of the painful memories of the past, forgive yourself for your part in them. Learn from the past but live in the present.
Anger is the burden on your back.
Holding on to anger is tempting. The longer you hold onto it, the more it will wear you out. Continuing to carry around past mistakes prevents you from living in the present. The longer you carry anger, the heavier it gets, and the less energy you have for living life today.
You need to let the pain go before it destroys you.
If you’ve ever grabbed something that’s very hot, the longer you hold onto it, the more pain you’ll feel. We instinctively drop something that’s burning our hand. What we forget to do is to drop emotional pain. People think that by holding on to that pain, they are protecting themselves. What’s important to do is to learn the lesson you needed to learn from that experience and then let it go.
Self-forgiveness is empowering.
Learn to forgive you. Holding onto that burden keeps you from moving forward. Forgiving yourself and moving on creates a whole other source of personal power. All humans make mistakes. People who live full lives do more, and as a result, make more mistakes. Let the past go if you want to prepare for the future.
Forgiveness lets you grow.
Think about one of those lawns were people cut across repeatedly. Eventually, the grass stops growing. If you keep going back over the times where you wish you would have done better, you create a deep rut in your life. To grow as a person, you need to take a new path. You can’t embark on a new life direction if you keep looking over your shoulder at the past.
Staying angry is easy, letting it go is hard.
Most of us have encountered a person who was constantly angry, angry about everything. It’s easy to live in the anger; its heat keeps you warm. Letting it go can be difficult. When you stay angry at yourself, you continue to inflict pain on you. Love yourself more and forgive yourself.
Forgiveness is letting go of the badge of pain.
Continuing to flaunt your pain may cause some people to feel sorry for you for a while. Eventually, people get tired of being around someone who uses their injury as an excuse for not trying again. Don’t hold on to the pain as an excuse for why you’re not moving forward. Heal yourself by shifting your focus from how you were injured, to the ways in which you can move forward.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
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