Sunday Inspiration Post By David Joel Miller.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Happy Valentine’s Day.
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
― Elbert Hubbard
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Sunday seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you please share them.
A counselorssoapbox.com video by David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC.
Will for beers get you drunk? Will drinking light beer prevent intoxication? Does one kind of alcohol get you more intoxicated than another? This video discusses the connection between alcohol types and factors and intoxication.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Compassion.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Let’s people say they need to do better self-care, but often the things they do in the name of self-care make the situation worse. Indulging yourself in harmful things shouldn’t be a part of your self-care. A late-night out with friends or having an alcoholic drink may feel good in the short run, but that lack of sleep and the damage alcohol can cause to your mood will leave you in worse shape than when you began.
Self-care shouldn’t be allowing yourself to indulge in negative habits. Of course, your routine should include some pleasure in life. But beware of doing harmful things in the name of self-care. The best way to improve your self-care is to build some positive aspects into your life that you want to do repeatedly. Self-care should be something you do every day, not something you do as a binge when life overwhelms you. Here are a few of the things you should include in your life to improve your self-care.
Be kind and gentle to yourself. Treat yourself at least as well as you would treat a child or a pet. Don’t belittle yourself, call yourself names, or tell yourself you’re no good. Learn to accept yourself as you are. Self-compassion includes forgiving your mistakes.
It’s easy to move through life, seeing the negative and experiencing self-induced suffering. Look for the happy moments in life. Happiness doesn’t come from another shot of adrenaline. An occasional ride on the roller coaster may be enjoyable, but don’t be misled into thinking that happiness consists only of those peak excitement experiences. Contentment and solitude are also parts of happiness.
Don’t fall into the trap of believing that sleep is a waste of time. Cumulatively, a lack of sleep will affect your thinking and your physical health. Self-care includes building into your daily routine plenty of sleep.
Whatever your spiritual or religious beliefs, make sure that you practice them. Say your prayers. Do your meditation. Allow some time for quiet contemplation. Building some form of spiritual practice in your life will help carry you through the rough times in life. People who have religious beliefs but fail to practice them develop cognitive dissonance, which makes their lives far more stressful.
Excessive stress can be harmful. Far more important than the absolute level of stress in your life is your stress mindset. People who see stress as always harmful and something that shouldn’t happen to them are easily overwhelmed. Look at the challenges in your life as opportunities for growth and accomplishment. People who view new challenges as exciting are far less likely to experience stress as harmful.
Many people approach their diet as a form of punishment. Trying to eliminate things from your diet and depriving yourself makes life unpleasant. Those kinds of diets are easily given up. Instead of approaching your diet as what you should give up, try adding more healthy foods. Look for healthy choices that you enjoy eating and gradually replace those unhealthy food items you’ve been eating with healthy ones you will enjoy eating.
In this modern life full of electronic instruments and constant activity, it’s easy to have schedules that start before you wake up and end after you’re already in bed. Don’t overwhelm yourself. One of the keys to productivity is figuring out what things to cut out of your schedule so that you have time for those things that are important. You need to be a top priority on your schedule. Improve your self-care by cutting tasks out of your schedule and leaving more time for the things that matter.
Doing some “retail therapy” may feel like self-care at the moment, but when the credit card bills come due, or your money is spent before the month is over, your effort at self-care has backfired. Trying to get pleasure out of buying something is doing it backward. The purchase may provide a small, temporary positive experience, but that fades very quickly, especially if you have to continue to make payments on that purchase.
The thing that will bring you the most pleasure, in the long run, is having something you will use regularly. Spend your money on experiences rather than things. The latest fashion quickly goes out of style. There will be a new model electronic device, sometimes even before you get the one you bought out of the package.
The trip of a lifetime adds to your happiness and is an excellent form of self-care. Don’t focus on spending time making more money to buy yourself and your family things. Include in your budget some time spent doing something with those who are close to you.
Recommended Mental Health Books
David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seems like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
Adorable.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
“I’m glad you like adverbs — I adore them; they are the only qualifications I really much respect.”
― Henry James
“If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and adore.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I adore the way he looks at me sometimes, as if love is a quantity he cannot measure scientifically, because it multiplies too quickly.”
― Jodi Picoult
“My dad is adorably optimistic, positive, pie-in-the-sky. He thinks every new song I write is my best. He sells T-shirts at my merchandise stands and hands out guitar picks to fans.”
― Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
A counselorssoapbox.com video by David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC
What is complex trauma?
Not everyone who experiences a trauma ends up with a mental illness. Some traumas are easier to heal from than others. Researchers have described a condition called complex trauma which is a subtype of PTSD and more difficult to heal from. This video explores what complex trauma is and the signs and symptoms someone with complex trauma would experience.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Depression.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
3 thoughts can create or worsen depression, even when life is going well for you. These three thoughts sometimes are referred to as the cognitive triad. One of the challenges people with depression experience is avoiding falling into thinking patterns that make the depression worse.
People who mentally run themselves down create depression. For a long time, there was a widespread perception that acknowledging your successes would give you a swell head. Parents avoided praising children. People thought they could motivate others by pointing out all their faults. The idea that verbally beating yourself up will make you work harder and accomplish more is a fallacy. Constantly criticizing yourself results in you defeat even before you’ve begun.
Criticizing yourself, saying you’re no good, and rehashing all your faults often overlaps with perfectionism. It’s wonderful to strive to be and do the best you can, but disqualifying your accomplishments because of one in perfection leads to paralysis and the inability to do anything.
Learn to recognize your accomplishments and build on them. No one is perfect. But focus on all the less-than-perfect things you’ve done in your life will keep you from accomplishing the many good things you might have done.
Several unhelpful thoughts can become habits that lead to this type of thinking. Do you routinely disqualify anything positive? Do you have a mental filter in place that allows you to see only the mistakes you make? Have you drifted into all or nothing thinking where you believe you’re either perfect or you’re worthless? If these unhelpful thoughts are fueling your depression work with a professional to eliminate them.
Every day we hear the news, and it’s full of stories of bad things happening. All that negativity isn’t offset by that one feel-good story they run at the end of the news. While bad things do happen every day, it’s also true that a great many good things happen too. Spotting terrible events is easy. Learning to recognize the good around you takes practice.
Every day all around us, people are doing good deeds. Those good deeds, those good things, are not as exciting as the stories of awful events. The human brain is often biased towards remembering the horrible things. If you lived in the woods or the jungle and you ate a berry which made you sick, your brain will remember that forever to protect you from eating something poisonous. If you find something that tastes good as you walk through the woods, your mind may not pay attention to that good thing. There’s no guarantee that the next time you come this way, there will be more of that good tasting fruit.
To reduce your depression, learn to look for the good in others.
Some people do this as a way of protecting themselves from disappointment when bad things happen. This approach can bias the brain even more towards negative, depressing thoughts. If you lose hope, of course, you’ll become depressed. Every day all around us some people are succeeding. Learn to look for the positive and your brain will become better at recognizing it when it does happen.
One of the secrets to becoming a happier person is to become a happiness expert. Seek out happiness and learn to recognize it when it walks past you. Whenever you have any of these three negative thoughts or to challenge them. Tell yourself you are okay the way you are. There are still good people in this world. And most importantly, don’t give up hope that the future may be better than the past.
Feeling helpless and hopeless are the chief ingredients in maintaining depression. Look for the hope in every situation. If you reach the state of being helpless and hopeless, seek help. Professional counselors or therapists can often see the good in you and the potential for growth when all you can see is darkness.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
Winning.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
“Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!
“We improve ourselves by victory over our self. There must be contests, and you must win.”
― Edward Gibbon
“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
― William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
A counselorssoapbox.com video by David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC
Could you have Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental illness caused by exposure to stress. It is similar to some other trauma and stress are related disorders. People with PTSD may also experience several other mental illnesses. What are some of the signs and symptoms of PTSD? How would you know if you were experiencing PTSD?
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Overwhelmed.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Life these days can be hectic. Feeling overwhelmed is one of those stressors that can lead to poor mental health or the development of a mental illness. People often have responsibilities at work, challenges in their relationships, kids to raise, and bills to pay. All these conflicting obligations can cause you to feel overwhelmed.
People who come to see therapists because of depression often have a long history of being under stress and feeling overwhelmed. Some people have a positive stress mindset and interpret life’s challenges as opportunities rather than problems. But if you’re one of those people who is chronically overwhelmed by stress, there are things you can do to reduce the effects of stress on your life.
Over scheduling yourself increases that overwhelmed feeling. If you don’t maintain your automobile, it’s likely to break down. You can’t run your car at full speed for very long before you start developing problems. Machinery needs some downtime for adjustments and repairs. It should be no surprise that humans need that downtime for rest and relaxation if they’re going to avoid both mental and physical problems.
If you’re chronically overwhelmed, the first step is to simply stop doing anything that doesn’t have to be done. It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race and forget that your human, not a rat. People who are overwhelmed often keep doing things out of habit rather than because they need to do them. If you feel overwhelmed, stop as soon as possible, take a break, and ask yourself, do I need to do this, and do I need to do it right now?
As the level of stress hormones rise, one of the first things that it affects is your breathing. If you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, examine your breathing. People who were stressing out often are holding their breath. Tell yourself to remember to breathe. Breathing like a little puppy, short, shallow breaths, will increase your anxiety and may even make you dizzy and lightheaded. Take a deep breath from the diaphragm, not a shallow breath from up near your throat. Hold that breath for a moment and then exhale. Pause briefly before taking another breath. As you breathe more deeply, and more slowly, you will feel your anxiety level declining.
The secret to getting more done in life is not piling more tasks on yourself. You become more effective and less overwhelmed when you learn to say no to things you don’t have to do. A very useful rule of productivity is that you increase productivity not by doing more but by eliminating items from your schedule, you don’t need to do so that you can focus on the important tasks.
Make sure your schedule includes plenty of time for personal things. Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. Include time in your schedule for your relationships, family and friends, and the things you really enjoy.
A huge source of that overwhelmed feeling is saying yes to too many things. Whether it’s at work or in your personal social life, learn to say no to something that will use up your time and leave you feeling stressed out and pressured. It’s easy to get into the habit of saying yes to everyone and everything. Learn to build some boundaries. Otherwise, people will keep dumping their garbage all over you.
When you have too many priorities, you’re constantly running from one fire to the next and never getting anything accomplished. The fewer items on your priority list, the more progress you’ll make at getting everything done. Take another look at your to-do list and if things have been on there for a long time, either do it immediately or cross it off the list. It’s the things on your to-do list that you can’t do that add to that incredible sense of being overwhelmed.
You’re a human being, not a human doing. Learn to feel good about yourself regardless of what you have or are doing. If your self-esteem is based on what others think of you, it will always be precarious. Learn to like yourself. Become your own best friend. Your self-esteem should rest on being the best person you can be, which includes time for self-improvement rather than having to do a lot of things for others.
Get plenty of sleep. Reducing sleep does not make you more efficient or give you more time to be productive. Lack of sleep results in foggy thinking, less energy, and will increase anxiety and depression. Lack of sleep also adds to the overwhelmed feeling because when you’re tired, you have less energy to do anything and become overwhelmed more rapidly.
Make sure you exercise regularly. Walking every day for twenty minutes or more has been shown to decrease symptoms of several mental illnesses. If you don’t have time to at least walk every day, your life is far too busy.
Feelings have gotten a bad reputation. Your feelings shouldn’t control you, but they are a valuable source of information. If something is upsetting, you should stop and think about why, rather than ignoring this uncomfortable feeling. Don’t tell yourself you should enjoy something. Ask yourself if you really are enjoying what you’re doing. If the life you’re living isn’t making you happy, consider changing how your living that life. Don’t fall into the trap of believing that happiness comes from the next jolt of excitement. True happiness also includes periods of calm and relaxation.
It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of day-to-day living without ever thinking about whether what you’re doing is taking you where you want to go. Do you want to be this frantically busy? If you were to have your ideal perfect life, would it be having more things or having more enjoyable experiences? Make sure that the life you’re living takes you to the goals that really matter to you, not the goals that someone else’s told you to pursue.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
Originality.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.”
― Herman Melville
“Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren’t very new after all.”
― Abraham Lincoln
“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
counselorssoapbox 