Category Archives: Success

How to Build a Successes Machine – The technology of success

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Success

Success.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Build a successes machine, turn the crank, and out comes another goal accomplished.

How do successful people do it?

Ever meet one of those people who are able to accomplish most anything they set their minds to? They are able to reproduce their successes project after project. I am not talking about the Bill Gates and Steve Jobs; knock one out of the park kinds of success. For that, you need not only ability, but a great idea and some good timing helps.

What I am talking about is that person who is more successful than most. They are the people in the next cubicle or down the block who seems to get a lot done, accomplish their life goals, and manage to be happy doing it. How do those people do it?

They have built a success machine and they are able to repeat those accomplishments over and over. Want to know how to build yourself a success machine? Here is how you train yourself to improve the odds that your next effort will work out the way you wanted it to.

1. Doing your homework increases success.

People who repeatedly accomplish things don’t go off half-cocked. They have done their homework and know which things have a chance of working and which don’t. They don’t jump into doing things because they want them to be possible. No wishful thinking here but sound research.

This does not mean they go along with the crowd. They evaluate things for themselves, do their homework, and once they have the facts make their own decision. They get noticed because they made the effort to check out an opportunity that other people overlooked.

2. Create a plan for success.

Good results do not happen by chance. People who get a lot done have plans; doable, well-researched plans. They also have ways of measuring outcomes and monitoring their efforts to see if they are on track. This does not mean they give up every time they get behind schedule but they do know if they are headed in the right direction or not.

For most projects, these plans are written out in some detail. They have budgets for both time and money and they have criteria for evaluation.

3. Break that success plan up into manageable steps.

Getting out of debt does not generally happen because you get a sudden windfall of money. It happens a few dollars at a time. The same thing holds true for other life goals.

Want a new better-paying job? There will be a series of steps you will need to do to get from where you are to having that job. Do them one thing at a time and if your research and planning were done well then you have a good chance of landing that big one.

4. Don’t set yourself up for failure.

One major cause of failure to get things accomplished is trying to do too much too fast. You decide to go back to school for a new degree, get a new job, lose weight, and get in shape all in the same month.

All of these things are good goals. Over time you can get there, but trying to do too much at one time sets you up for failure. You won’t do well in school if you are out exercising. It is also hard to concentrate on exams if you are looking for a new job.

Break these projects up into small manageable steps. Make small changes in your routine.  Monitor your progress and switch your emphasis to the next phase as you finish each thing.

5. Keep on the path to where you are going.

Excessive, frequent changes in goals are likely to undo all the effort you have made. Spend time evaluating goals before you start on the journey. At some point, it helps to recheck those plans. Some people do annual or even monthly reevaluations. But don’t change those plans from day-to-day without a good reason.

Switching goals from day-to-day ensure that you will not be successful at anything.

6. Enjoy the trip towards your version of success.

People who enjoy the process of exercising lose more weight. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy, maybe walking, maybe join a softball league. If you want to eat healthier consider learning to cook healthier.

If you enjoy the subject you are studying you get better grades. And if you like this new career you are more likely to get hired and do well. They can tell in the interview if you are only taking the job because you are desperate and will plan to leave the minute you can.

Follow these 6 steps. Pick a small goal, do the process, and watch your progress. As one goal becomes a part of your normal routine add another until eventually, you can say you have built the life you want.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that happiness will come from having or accomplishing. True happiness is the result of the pride you will take in your progress along the way.

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

How sure are you about that goal?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Hitting a target

Goal.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Is your goal taking you in the right direction?

Lots of self-improvement books talk at length about how to set goals and how to achieve them. Rarely do you see anything about how to test a goal? Is this a goal you should be trying to achieve? Will it really be something you will want once you reach it? Lots of people spend a chunk of their life working towards a goal only to decide once they get there that they picked the wrong objective.

1. Is this goal worth doing?

People set off to accomplish something and never ask themselves if they are successful at getting there will they really feel that this was worth doing.

Many a student signs up for a training program without ever asking if there are any jobs in that field.

If you accomplish this goal will it have been worth the effort? Is this about being selfish? Doing something to be better than someone else? Will you really feel good about yourself if you defeat a one-legged man in a race?

Ever heard the one about the girl who went to great length to take a boyfriend away from a rival only to find out that he was not worth having?

2. Is this goal really possible?

It is possible to devote your life to trying to do something that really can’t be done. Consider if it is possible and consider further getting some advice from people you trust about whether this is a doable goal.

There are those who have accomplished things that the rest of the world told them could never be done. The one thing they had that changed that whole equation was an unshakable belief that this was possible. If you don’t have that belief and can’t convince yourself then you are probably devoting your efforts to a losing cause.

3. Are you the person to do this?

Sometimes there are things that need doing, great important things, but they require giving up other things. If you spend years of your life trying to accomplish something only to find there were other people with more talent already doing this you will be setting yourself up for failure.

We see this often in business. There is an opportunity, there is a need for a product, and this might be profitable. So a small company starts out to do this. But they find that some other much larger company, the one with lots of money behind them, is already opening stores to market this product.

Now if you have a different slant on the problem, you will do it differently, then you have a chance. But if your plan depends on working harder or cheaper, the end result may be that the goal will not be worth doing.

4. What will get in your way?

The first thought in setting off on a journey is how great this will be, how wonderful it will be to accomplish this goal. What we often neglect to consider is what will get in our way.

Does this goal take more money than we have or can raise? Will it take too much time?

5. What will you have to do to get past those obstacles?

Will you need a lot more education? Will you need to raise some money? Will you need to turn over control to someone else? Will you have to do things that violate your morals or ethics to reach this goal? Will it cost you, friends, or family?

Having difficult obstacles in your way should not deter you if the goal is really worth doing, but you need to know what is required to overcome those obstacles.

What you do to get past the obstacles will have a price. You always need to consider if that price is one that is worth paying or having given up that much will you resent the price even if you get to the goal.

6. If you try and don’t get this can you still be happy for having made the effort?

Some goals are only worthwhile if you can be successful. For other people the pursuit of the goal is sufficient. Be clear if doing your best will be good enough or if you need to reach the goal to feel good about your journey.

7. When you get it all done will the pursuit of this goal have been worth the price you had to pay to get there?

Every time you do something there are one or more other things that you can’t do. If you go away to school you spend time away from your family. If you stay at home then you can’t attend that prestigious school somewhere else.

Those lost opportunities, things given up to pursue a life goal can add up after a while. It is worth thinking about all those possible losses before you embark on a course that you can’t easily change.

This Goal testing process is not particularly new or original. It is found in several of the old mental improvement texts. Many of these older self-improvement books are available online and free if you find the right source. They inspired me to think about this subject and to write this post.

What goals have you set for yourself and have you tested them before you embark on the journey to be sure that you will want the result when you get there?

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Finding success when fear is in the way

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Success or failure sign

Success or failure.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Success – You can’t get there from here; you need to go somewhere else first.

Do you have a picture of success in your mind? Have you thought about the things you will need to do to get there from where you are? But you can’t seem to make any progress?

Is there a fear blocking your path?

One major obstacle in the path to being successful for many of us is that boulder-sized fear that is right in front of us. What will you need to do to get past that fear and reach the success you were meant to find?

We have talked in the past about making sure that what you say your goals are is in fact what you really want out of life. Nothing so clearly undermines success as heading towards the one goal we say we want while looking over our shoulder at the goal we wish we were working on.  Secretly wishing we were going somewhere else impedes all forward progress.

Your goals also need to be consistent with your values. If what really matters to you is your family and friends, good relationships make you happy; trying to make a lot of money will take you away from your goals and reduce the time you have to spend on improving those relationships. Sure you need some money, but how much money is enough, and how much time with a loved one is too much?

Fears in our path to success can come in all sizes and shapes.

One fear that keeps people from trying is the fear of success. What would it mean to you to be truly successful? If you are unsure if you believe you don’t deserve success or you think others will look down on you and reject you if you stood out, then your brain will help you out here and sabotage your efforts to do something that it knows you don’t really want.

To reach success, however, you define it; you need to believe that you deserve to succeed.

Fear can take up a place in your way to success wearing the disguise of doubt or self-distrust. If you don’t believe that you will be successful, others around you will find it difficult to believe in you. If you give off that vibe that you don’t really want to accomplish anything, those around you will spend their time helping people who want to go somewhere.

Some fears shrink when you approach them.

That old bogeyman under the bed disappears when we shine a light under the bed. The same is true of many other fears. Avoiding unpleasant things makes them scarier. Some fears will shrink rapidly once you walk up to them and begin the task.

Some fears won’t budge and you have to find ways around them.

If the thing you fear is a real risk, you need to look for ways to reduce that risk. Insurance and savings are two ways people shrink risk. Getting the education and training you need to be successful in a field also reduces the risk of heading in that direction.

Think for a while about the role of your fears in keeping you from the success you want. Is it trying to protect you from failing? Is it warning you of a real risk that needs to be taken into account?

Concurring fear is an important step in your journey to that happy, successful life you deserve.

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

I could never do that – Talking yourself out of success

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Success

Success.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

When we talk to ourselves our brain believes us.

Ever wondered how someone achieves something great despite overwhelming obstacles? The secret to those high achievers is that they believe in themselves.

Tell yourself that you can’t do something and the chances are you won’t be able to do it. Tell yourself that you can be successful and the chances you will become successful increase dramatically. Tell yourself you “are a failure” and you will become one.

Tell yourself often enough that you can’t accomplish anything in your life, that you don’t deserve success, and your brain will start believing you. It will make sure to pull back just as you get close to your goal.

Your brain can actually begin to protect you from success. It knows you “can’t do this” and it makes sure you can’t. Since you have trained your brain to serve you it is hard for it to disagree with the “fail” instruction.

The salesman who goes to work thinking he will make a big sale that day has a better chance of making a sale. It may not be the big sale he expected, but it is something.

The salesman who expects to fail will probably fail to make a sale most of the time. More than once in my life I have gone to a store expecting to buy something and left without making a purchase because the person who was supposed to be helping me was so negative about everything they deflated my desire to buy.

Negativity can be contagious. So can positivity.

One way to improve your chances of success is to begin to believe that you can do it. You also need to believe that you deserve it. We all deserve to have a happy life. The important thing is to define what that success, that happy life, would look like for each of us individually.

When we don’t feel worthy, that this last success was an undeserved fluke, we can stop trying, not expecting anything to go our way again. We can also self-sabotage because we don’t feel that we deserve this benefit.

Many of us learned these negative “fail” messages early in life. We were told we were “stupid” or “worthless” and we began to believe these messages. We repeated them over and over and eventually our brains stored them away as a way to explain life. We avoided trying because we expected to fail.

Sometimes people break out of this trap of negativity and self-doubt because someone else believes in them. One teacher or counselor who believes in a child can make a world of difference in that child’s life.

Other times people find they have to become their own cheerleaders. They begin by telling themselves positive things each day. We call those thoughts positive affirmations. Giving the brain the same message over and over will cause it to believe that message.

Repeatedly I have seen older students who didn’t believe they were that smart, return to school out of desperation. They needed to get a degree that would lead to a job, any job. Along the way, to that degree, they discover that they are a lot smarter and a lot more capable than they ever thought.

They had stopped telling themselves they couldn’t and started telling the brain they had to and the brain came through for them. They did succeed.

Every therapist could tell you stories of clients who came to therapy defeated and discouraged. They believed they couldn’t. Over the course of therapy the client’s perception changed first to maybe I could, and then to I think I can.

As a result of that change of thinking people have gone on to achieve great things. They have finished school and gotten a degree, found jobs, or established and improved relationships all while staying clean and sober and out of their depression.

All these things happen when you begin to believe in yourself.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

How to Find Success and Avoid Failure.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Success or failure sign

Success or failure.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How do you become successful?

You will reach a destination faster and more surely if you have a map. Far too many people head off looking for success with no idea where they are going or how they will get there. They are surprised when after years of traveling life’s roads they still have not found the success they were looking for.

If you want a life that fails, you can avoid doing most anything, but to have real success will require some planning. Be careful about following other people’s directions, they may not be headed where you are going.

If you would be successful in life, invest some time in creating a roadmap to success that is specific to your life journey.

1. What does success mean to you?

To reach success you need a clear vision of what it will look like when you get there.

Not paying attention to this one has disastrous results. Lots of people go along following others rules; doing what they are supposed to do, only to find when they reach the destination they are not where they wanted to be.

Did you say you wanted to make a lot of money? Are you really willing to do anything to get it?  Spend some time at the beginning of your success journey thinking about what is most important to you. What are your values and goals? Will it be a success, if you earn the money you want by doing things that you consider morally wrong?

How much more will you need to get paid to compensate for a life of doing work you hate?

We find in career counseling that people, who are doing work they like and that they have the abilities for, are more likely to be successful.

Get to know yourself well. You should be your own best friend. The more self-knowledge you have the more likely you are to set a course for yourself that will be enjoyable and successful.

Lots of money won’t mean much if you are miserable and need to spend it all on therapy to solve your misery.

2. Investigate the possibilities.

Be sure you have a clear, accurate understanding of what it will be like to reach this goal.

Say you decide that for you, success is living at the beach – one time I was driving along and saw a sign that said something about an ancient beach. I took the turnoff and drove for hours. Eventually, I discovered I had ended up in the middle of the desert. There was a beach there all right. An ancient beach complete with fossils. But there had not been any water near there for a gazillion years.

So often clients tell me they perused a dream, an idea of success only to find out that the reality of the destination was very different from what they expected. Make sure you know if you become a novelist – just how much money does the average one make?  Do you know how many hours per week the top business managers work?

Would it really be worth it to you to go to college for 8 years to become a professor and then maybe work for what that school you are looking at pays? Today student debt is at an all-time high. People are finding that they can’t make enough in their chosen career field to pay back that college loan.

People can pursue career goals, go to school for a new occupation only to find out that they will need to move cross-country to be where the jobs are. Is success for you getting your dream job and moving to a new city to start a new life or is it getting the best job possible while living your life in your hometown?

Before you take a training class on becoming a jet aircraft mechanic find out if there are any airports in your area that have jets. And when was the last time they hired a mechanic at that airport?

There are plenty of posts in the blog-o-sphere about the importance of enjoying the journey. I tend to agree with that. The destination will be a lot less enjoyable if you do not enjoy the journey.

But life is not all about the journey. Failing to plan and going with the flow may mean you end up somewhere you never wanted to go.

Lots of people struggle to reach a goal thinking that will mean they are successful, only to discover the goal does not meet the need they have. In some disciplines, half of the people completing a college degree never work in the field. Either there are no jobs, none in the town they live in, or they decide they really do not want to do that kind of work.

3. Find out where you are now.

Thousands of kids tell me they want to play professional sports. One look at many of them tells me they are not likely to make it.

If you hate math and science should you really pursue an engineering career?

I am not telling you that you should chuck your dream. Some skinny kids do become Olympic weightlifters. But it is a long road. Do you enjoy doing the things you need to do to get there and when you reach the goal will it really have been worth it?

There are two approaches to getting from where you are now to where you want to be. Find the things you are strong at and build on those skills or find the things you are weak in and develop new skills.

What does not work is build a definition of success that requires you to become good at things for which you have no skills and doing things you do not like to do.

4. What roads will you need to follow to get to success?

If you can see the path from where you are to where you want to go clearly and that is a path you chose to travel then go for it. But a little planning, in the beginning, can help you avoid a ton of failure.

Does the job require education? Do you like going to school? If the job you want requires meeting the public and promoting the company are you a social person and will you enjoy making public appearances?

Lots of small business owners get into a bind when they create a business that involves them doing a lot of things they like to do and then as the business grows they find they are having to do everything and that there is very little they can turn over to others.

If you are a creative artist do you want to do your art or do you want to create an advertising company and spend time selling to clients while having to turn the creative work over to others?

Failure to consider the roads you will need to travel results in lots of people being unhappy along the way as they find themselves having to do things they never wanted to do to reach a success goal that is no longer appealing when they get there.

Starting today begin developing a plan that will take you to the place you call success.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel