Homeless.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Who is burning out the homeless encampments in Fresno?
Interesting piece by local writer posted on indybay with great pictures of two homeless encampments that burned just days before the city planned to move the homeless out.
This may be mostly of local interest here in California’s central valley but the issue of homelessness touches everyone everywhere.
http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2013/08/12/18741445.php
By David Joel Miller
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Therapy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Sometimes the counselor will tell the client they need to stop seeing them because the client is not getting better. Why would they do that?
There is one major reason and a few smaller ones why this might happen. Honestly most of the time this does not happen. We, counselors, want to think we can help people and sometimes we go on seeing them past the point at which we should have noticed that the client is just not getting any better. But if your therapist does say they need to stop seeing you here are some possible reasons why.
It is considered unethical to keep seeing a client once you realize that you are not able to help them. Once the counselor realizes this, they first look at what they are doing, is there something else I could do to be helpful? Then they consider referring the client to someone else who might be able to do something differently.
Just a lack of progress on the client’s part does not mean the counselor is not being helpful. Sometimes the issues the client has may require help just to keep them stable. If the therapy sessions keep the client from getting worse and ending up in the hospital that may be a reason to continue therapy even if the client is not seeing their problems get smaller.
What would be unethical would be to keep seeing the client, taking their money or the insurance company’s money if the sessions were not helping the client.
Sometimes we start off seeing the client for one problem, say depression and during the process, the client starts talking about some other problem. Say the client now tells the counselor that they have a severe eating disorder they have never mentioned before.
Treating eating disorders is often considered a specialty. Not all counselors have the extra training needed to be able to help you with that. So they might need to refer you to an eating disorder specialist.
This should happen more often with clients who have a substance abuse issue. Unfortunately, some therapists are uncomfortable talking about substance use issues. They keep on working on the depression and ignore the substance use problem. The result is that the client fails to get better.
Some clients get stuck in an issue. They are angry or hurt because of something that happened in their past. What they might like to do is erase the event so it never happened. That or punish the person who harmed them.
The therapist wants to help them move on and get working on creating a new happy life. If the client is not ready to move on it can get tiring to listen to them. If the counselor runs out of steam in the listening department they should make the referral.
I do recommend to interns that if they start feeling this way they need to talk to the client about this. It is possible we professionals get impatient and try to end treatment just about the time the client is ready to make some changes.
Don’t ever stop just before the miracles happen.
If the counselor gets sick, or they have a sick family member, then they can’t give helping you their full attention. Counselors who are going through a divorce or a custody battle may find they can’t give a client who reminds them of their ex their full attention.
Other professional impairments can include excessive or problematic use of substances, drug and alcohol abuse can be problems for counselors too.
Clients can start getting dependent on their therapist. Sometimes they look forward to the weekly session so much they can’t see how they can give it up. They feel they are not all better yet.
Counselors and insurance companies are not expecting you to be all better at the end of treatment. What is expected is that the symptoms will be reduced until they no longer interfere with your ability to work, have friends or family relationships.
If your symptoms seem stable, the counselor may decide that they can’t justify billing your insurance anymore and that means they need to terminate therapy with you or you will have to pay yourself.
Even in this circumstance counselors may need to revert back to point 1. When does the counselor’s seeing you become more for them, to make a profit, than for you?
Those are some of the reasons a counselor may say they have to stop seeing you, they may be others in particular cases. Hope that helps explain the process.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Brain
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
There are lots of ways to put your brain on delay. Once you do, it can be hard to get it working correctly again.
Your brain may be tired, worn out, beat up, or just plain over-full. No matter the reasons, once your brain is in the delay mode you will not get the sort of use out of that organ that it is capable of.
Here are some things that may be slowing your brain down and putting it on delay and some thoughts on getting your brain back on-line.
When our minds are occupied with fear and anxiety we use up a lot of working memory. You can spend so much time brooding on your troubles that there is not much capacity left to think things through, plan for the future, or even to enjoy the good things along the way.
Find ways to reduce the fear or anxiety. There are all sorts of methods, counseling, medication, or facing this event with a supportive person. You will see a lot about that in other posts on this blog.
Some fears are really cowards in disguise if you face them down and walk towards them the thing that you are afraid of will run.
One symptom of retardation is “psychomotor retardation.” When you are very depressed any effort, even thought, becomes more than you can manage.
If you feel “out of it” or “spacey” look for an emotional cause.
There is also a condition called dissociation. A small dose of this may be a normal way your brain protects you from physical or emotional pain. If this keeps happening or interferes with your life consider getting some professional help. You can get better and no this is not, “just the way I am.”
What depression can do to us, we can do to ourselves by drinking alcohol, taking depressant drugs or even by excessive use of sedating prescription drugs.
Despite all the myths out there, alcohol does not give you energy, it depresses the nervous system. Drink enough alcohol and just remembering who you are and where you are, become major tasks.
Don’t let alcohol slow your brain down.
Using stimulant drugs to accomplish more is a horrific delusion. In the early stages, stimulant drugs like cocaine and meth seem to offer the hope of lots of energy, a more productive life.
But with repeated use, we become the dog who chases his tail. You run faster and faster but get nowhere. People on stimulant drugs get “Stuck.” They repeat behaviors over and over until they finally crash.
Once they crash they stay down for at least as long as they were up. All that downtime, their brain is set on fuzzy.
Stimulant use and abuse can get you both ways, when you are up you are stuck on things and when you are down you are off-line.
If you have not had health care or it has been a while since you saw a doctor, make sure you get yourself checked out by a doctor. If it has a medical cause then your problem is not an emotional one. Having a physical issue can make your emotions more difficult to cope with. Sometimes you may have both a physical and a mental health issue.
So if you find your brain on delay, think about what caused this condition. Rather than doing more of what isn’t working, try something new. Get help and get that brain back up and working the way it was designed to work.
Related articles
Two David Joel Miller Books are available now!
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Casino Robbery is a novel about a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
Want the latest on news from recoveryland, the field of counseling, my writing projects, speaking and teaching? Please sign up for my newsletter at – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.
For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse, and Co-occurring disorders see my Facebook author’s page, davidjoelmillerwriter. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com.
By David Joel Miller.
Do counselors report rape?
Photo courtesy of pixabay.
If the victim is an adult – counselors do not report rape. Rape is a crime. We do not report crimes unless there is a legal exception to confidentiality that requires us to report something. As far as I know, rape is not one of those crimes that get reported.
If the victim is an adult they should report it. We will try to help them, walk them through the process.
After seeing how rape and abuse survivors can be treated and the way reporting trauma can re-traumatize them, I can understand why they may not want their rape or abuse reported.
If the client is the perpetrator we do not report that either. It is up to the victim to report. What we should do is tell this client to stop doing that. They are ruining their lives and the life of their victim. That is if we even chose to continue to work with a rapist.
What if the victim is a child? You report the rape then, don’t you? No, not really. Not the way I understand my reporting responsibility. I do not report crimes. I do not report rape.
Wait a minute – the victim was a Child? What we do report is abuse. This is child sexual abuse. See the rape part is not what triggers the report. It is the abuse of someone with power and control over a weaker person that makes this reportable as abuse.
This sexual abuse does not need to be rape or intercourse. Depending on the laws of the jurisdiction all sorts of inappropriate sexual contact between an adult and a child might be reportable.
But the victim does not need to be a child to make this a reportable occurrence. If the victim is a senior citizen that is reportable in lots of places. Or if they are disabled, that abuse gets reported.
Financial abuse of the elderly, that gets reported most of the time. There are rules about when but remember it is the abuse, not the financial crime that is getting reported.
So while counselors do not report crimes, yes we do have a responsibility to protect those who can’t protect themselves by reporting abuse.
I am sure this will not be the last time a question about when a counselor will report something will turn up in the comments or my email.
The basic rule is – crimes – no report.
Abuse of a disabled person, senior citizen, or child – report.
A person intending to kill themselves or others – report.
At least that is the way things work here in California and most other places I know about. If in doubt consult a lawyer or ask your counselor about the way it works in your jurisdiction or situation.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Tools.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Each activity calls for its own special set of tools. Most men have a bunch of tools in the garage, carpenters and mechanics have humongous collections of tools. Cooks, good ones, and otherwise, all seem to have a variety of tools at their disposal.
Why then do recovering people think they can get by with one or very few tools?
Some counseling or medication may get your depression, anxiety, or addictive behavior under control but what will you use to prevent a return of your symptoms?
Some people can get away from substances, alcohol, or drugs, by just quitting. Unfortunately, they often find they are dry but not really recovered. We call that being a dry drunk.
Some people function in spite of their anxiety or depression. They will themselves forward until that stops working.
Others think that given a sudden religious experience they are now cured and will not need to work on their recovery anymore. I am not discounting religious or spiritual experiences as a source of recovery, but anyone with a successful recovery is apt to tell you that embedded in their religious or spiritual practice are some other recovery tools.
Here are some of the recovery tools you might consider including in your recovery toolbox.
Peers in a recovery program, fellow church members, and friend’s relatives, all can be important parts of a recovering person’s support system. You need more than one kind of support to make this work.
The key is to find people who are positive support system members.
Members of a recovering person’s support system need to be encouraging, see the best in the recovering person. They also need to understand that it is the recovering person’s journey, not theirs.
Honest, support system people, there is nothing you can do to make someone use drugs or drink. Stop walking on eggshells. There is also nothing you can do to keep them clean, sober, or happy. You can encourage but the journey is theirs.
What you can do is be there for them. Expect there to be struggles and take good care of you. Letting the recovering person get away with things is not the same as being supportive.
Peer groups, especially 12 step groups have a long history of being helpful in maintaining recovery.
Consumer groups, while harder to find, can be very effective as a form of support.
Having a sponsor can also be extremely helpful. Sponsorship the way it is practiced in many 12 step groups is a whole lot less mysterious than many outside the groups make it sound.
You find someone who has recovered by completing a process of recovery and you get them to spend some time with you telling you how they did it. In twelve-step groups the process they use is the 12 Steps, so you want a sponsor who has actually “worked” the steps.
Why did I put pets and professionals together? Should you see a counselor or get a dog? Or a cat? I am hoping you try both.
Both these groups give you something called “unconditional positive regard.” Meaning they should be in your corner no matter what, liking you as a person even when they want you to change.
With pets, we call this unconditional love. The dog comes over and licks you no matter how you are doing. They will, however, want you to get up and play even when you are depressed.
Guess what, playing with that dog, taking them for a walk will help your depression. And it may also take your mind off those cravings.
Both group and individual counseling can be very effective. Group because you can hear how others are going through the same things. The verdict on online groups is still out, I suspect that as a part of your recovery tools they could be helpful. Just make sure you don’t try to do any heavy cutting with a hammer or a spoon.
Mostly medication is useful for mental health issues. So far we have not found a drug that makes you clean and sober. Some are used to help reduce or manage the cravings. Lots of people stop using street drugs and then discover that they have severe anxiety or depression. They just never noticed this while getting high. For these folks, some psych meds, correctly used can be helpful.
Some people tell me medication has saved their life. Once the doctor found the right meds they began to have a good life.
Others tell me or write on the blogs, that the meds were worse than the disorder. Be careful about stopping meds suddenly. There can be side effects and withdrawal symptoms. But if your meds are not working or are causing other problems that are intolerable, please talk with your doctor. There are lots of things that can be done most of the time.
Meds by themselves, in my not so humble opinion, are not the whole answer. No pill will solve all your life problems. The med may allow you to face life again, but you still need to do the recovery work.
You need all the recovery tools you can get.
Self-help books, Journaling, and other ways of expressing yourself are helpful. If you find you can’t write in a journal, try drawing pictures or composing songs.
Something about having something to do and somewhere to go that is a huge boost to your well-being. Has someone told you that for you, work is not an option? Do not be so sure about that. In the first stages of recovery, you may not be ready for a 40 hour a week job. Still, that should not keep you from doing something.
If you go to meetings, make and pour coffee. Take out the garbage. Volunteer to help someone else. Something as simple as calling another recovering person each day (or emailing, blog posting, etc.) can get you back in the life game.
By relationships, I do not mean only the romantic or sexual kind. Invest time in working on all your relationships.
In another post, I talked about being sure that your relationships are healthy. If they are not, consider how you could work on them to make them healthier or do you need to end some unhealthy ones.
People who have healthy relationships, others that care about them and encourage them, are more likely to stay sober and much less likely to end up in a psychiatric hospital.
I need to wrap this up. Relationships could easily be the topic of many posts or even a whole blog.
So how many of these recovery tools are you using? Are there any other things that I missed that work for you?
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
One place many of us get off track is to start thinking because something is possible, we should do it.
This problem is common in the two primary life problem areas, Romances and finances.
You meet someone and they seem to like you. You feel some attraction back. A relationship is possible. Many people end up in relationships for no more reason than that the other person is interested. We fall in love because we think the other person might like us. Just because this relationship is possible does not mean it would be healthy to get involved.
Many a person’s baby’s father or mother became a part of their and their children’s lives for no better reason than that relationship was possible. We pick partners because we can have this relationship not because you should.
Pick your baby’s other parent carefully. You can break up with your partner but baby’s fathers and mothers are forever.
It is easy to sabotage your finances or your work life for similar reasons reason.
Lots of people drift into their work lives in the same way. You don’t know what you want to do. You know you need a job so when something comes along, you take that job. Maybe the job is low pay. Maybe the working conditions are terrible. So eventually we get fed up, maybe even quit.
Don’t misunderstand me. If you need money you need to work. So sometimes we have to take a job that is less than the perfect job dream we have in our head. But please do not stop there. Think in terms of the rest of your life. What kind of career do you want? Are you working towards that?
Many people have trouble with compulsive, emotional spending. You see something and you want it. You have the money or maybe the room on your credit card. The pleasure of the immediate purchase exceeds the happiness you might have from having more money in the bank or fewer, smaller bills.
Some of us drift through life always in debt, owing on cards and loans, for no better reason than that we bought things because we could not because we should.
Do you drift through life doing things because you can or do you focus on the things that you should do or not do?
Two David Joel Miller Books are available now!
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Casino Robbery is a novel about a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
Want the latest on news from recoveryland, the field of counseling, my writing projects, speaking and teaching? Please sign up for my newsletter at – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.
For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse, and Co-occurring disorders see my Facebook author’s page, davidjoelmillerwriter. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Unhappy relationship.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
The client comes for counseling, sometimes it is a couple, sometimes they have already spit or divorced and the client comes alone. The complaints are remarkably similar.
In the beginning, this relationship was so perfect. We spent a lot of time together, couldn’t wait to be together, and then things started to change.
Starting a new relationship sets off a series of changes in everyone’s life. Some of these changes are enjoyable, falling in love is better than most drugs. But that new relationship also sets off stress. Those seeds of change planted at the start of the relationship become the weeds of disappointment later on.
In the process of creating an US, the couple finds themselves distancing from people who have been in their life before the relationship. Most of us have full lives, even when we say that there is something missing, like love, still to make room for the new partner something has to go.
The picture I get of this person entering a new relationship is sort of like my desk. It is full. No matter how much I clean it off more stuff appears and fills it up. So anytime I add a new thing, a book I want to read, something else I planned to look at gets covered up or if I push that new book onto the desk something falls off the other side.
So to make room for that new love, you see less of old friends. Maybe your new partner doesn’t like some of your friends, so you stop seeing them. There may be conflicts between your partner’s interests and expectations and what your family expects. So you change a little and then your relationships with family and friends, those relationships change in response.
As the relationship progresses all sorts of conflicts arise. Where do you spend the holidays? Do you go to activates with your friends and family or your partners? As your new love takes you away from your established relationship your family and friends may push back.
You may be expected for a holiday meal with one part of the extended family and another part is angry because they expected you. You can see how the conflicts mount up.
You may decide to adopt the customs of one person or the other or you may compromise. Either way life activities outside the relationship will change. You have to stop doing some things to make way for others.
At this stage, couples come to counseling for help in creating space for an US. They need help in setting boundaries with people outside the relationship. They may also need help setting boundaries within the relationship.
The resentments may accumulate. You have given up a lot to make this relationship work and now you wonder what happened to ME since we became US?
He came home from work after a hard day and she wasn’t there, out with her girlfriends again. She used to call him about every little decision now she calls her mother and tells him what her mom said she should do.
He used to want to be with her all the time. Now he spends Friday night out with the guys. Soon Friday turns into 3 or 4 nights a week. He starts going to the gym or running every day.
The time they used to spend together each now wants time apart. Often one or the other partner thinks the other is having an affair, sometimes they are, but most of the time they just decide to go back to doing the things they did before they got into this relationship before WE and US started to obliterate the “ME.”
So as the process of reestablishing ME begins to take shape, The relationship undergoes a new strain, creating separateness within togetherness.
Relationship counselors have looked a lot at the progression of relationships. We are seeing that relationships and the people in them go through a series of changes. If one partner’s changes are out of step with the others then there can be problems in the relationship.
Sometimes that first embrace gets too tight and one person may push the other away.
This is a time to look at how the relationship is progressing not to think you picked the wrong person. Healthy relationships change over time.
There can be ME’s for both partners within the US. It takes time, understanding, and effort to create that space within the loving relationship.
Frequently the two of you become three or more and then the relationship stress mounts. Do you have to give up being that loving couple to be a family? Can there still be a ME and US and an ALL OF US?
Family can and do make these transitions. It helps if you know they are coming. If these inevitable relationship strains and changes are making you wonder if you made the right choice in the first place, consider relationship or family counseling.
All relationships continue to change and starting over with a new partner means going through these relationship changes all over again. Couples who are willing to work at navigating the changes that always come, end up navigating those changes together.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Dreams and Nightmares
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
We start off life with all sorts of hopes and dreams, somewhere along the way we lose track of those dreams. The way of life becomes dark and gloomy.
If you don’t have a dream, a hope for the future, your life becomes empty and you feel hollow. Somewhere or other your hopes and dreams turn into the nightmares of adult life.
Finding your way from the nightmares back to the land of dreams, that is the work of recovery. The dreams you are looking for are not the fantasies of childhood but the solid dreams an adult should have of what can be and what they can become.
Rebuilding hope and recreating dreams is what makes a life worth the effort to live it. If you get nothing else from your recovery program then fully engage in the search for hope, the recreating of dreams.
My own philosophy of counseling is that I am a guide along the path towards that happy life we all need and deserve. I share the things I have learned from taking this walk we call life and I am blessed to be able to learn from others the lessons they have learned.
Sometimes in this journey, we have to walk through some very dark and scary places. We may struggle with monsters or demons. But always keep your eye on the light shining off on that distant horizon.
A colleague of mine recently described it very succinctly. You may have to walk through the valley of the shadows of death, don’t stop and camp there.
While you are walking through your daily struggles, do not get defeated by the dark shadows and the nightmares. Keep your eye on the bright spots.
What makes this journey of life with all the efforts that are required, something worthwhile is the dreams we create, the ones we are able to hold onto, and the companions with whom we share the journey.
Can you see your dreams on up ahead? What are you moving towards? What lessons have you learned about how to overcome the nightmares and make life worth the effort to keep trudging onward?
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Something to think about.
Many will miss charming and loveable Glee star Cory Monteith. Just goes to show you that being rich and famous doesn’t make some people satisfied.
Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin all died of drug related causes when they were 27 years old.
Original Rolling Stones bassist Bill Wyman said of Brian Jones, “He formed the band [Rolling Stones]. He chose the members. He named the band. He chose the music we played. He got us gigs. … Very influential, very important, and then slowly lost it — highly intelligent — and just kind of wasted it and blew it all away.”
Brian Jones was kicked out of the band he created due to serious drug problems that hampered his ability to write music, get along with band members and even perform music. Within about one month, he was found dead, drowned in his swimming pool. Some…
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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Alcoholic Beverages.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
This comes up frequently in recovery circles. Typically after the person has drunk and had a bad result.
One saying, that may tell the story, is that if you scratch an addict underneath you find an alcoholic.
The great illusion of any addicted person is that the will find some other substance, some other process out there that will allow them to feel those same highs, to reach for a new solution to avoid their problems and be able to handle that substance.
Lots of addicts alibi that alcohol is legal so there should be no problem with their using it. Truth is that the legal drugs cause the most damage.
Alcohol is a drug, make no mistake about that. It alters thinking. Whether you have had a problem with alcohol in the past or not, alcohol will turn off the part of the brain that tells you “HEY STUPID, DO NOT DO THAT.”
For most people in substance use or abuse recovery, the drugs or the alcohol are not the problems. The drugs, alcohol, gambling, or addictive sex become the solution. The problem is that the user does not know how to live life without the thing or activity they have become dependent upon.
My recommendation is that if you are in recovery from drugs or any other addictive behavior you should avoid alcohol.
Alcohol is not the only substitute addiction that creeps up on recovering people. It is common for recovering people to switch addictions.
Often in groups, I hear from recovering people that they are trying to have fun without their drug of choice and they have been spending time at the local casino. That excitement of the risk of wagering is taking the place of the previous drug high.
No longer having to pay for drugs they take that leftover money and head for the casino. Recovering people can quickly find they have developed a problem with gambling, sex addiction or any other addictive behavior.
If you are in any type of recovery, be very careful about merely switching from one addictive substance or activity to another.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
counselorssoapbox 