Tag Archives: memory

6 reasons why exercise won’t help you

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Exercise equipment.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Mistakes we make in setting up an exercise or other self-change programs.

Exercise programs, like lots of other self-change efforts, fail for some very simple reasons.

I first read these points in articles about physical exercise programs but the more I read about them the more I could see that the same principles apply to mental, spiritual, and emotional recovery programs also.

Have tried to change only to end up back where you started?

Below are some of the reasons these self-improvement programs often fail.

1. Trying to do too much too fast.

For most people, weight loss is not a long-term project. This exercise or weight loss program is often undertaken as a last-ditch crash activity. You want to lose weight before a special occasion or because your doctor has said your health is at risk.

Most people in early recovery, from whatever they define as their problem, fall into this same trap. The person who has neglected their health wants to get into shape lose weight and become healthier and they want to do this by Friday.

Recovering from a lifelong issue does not happen in large sudden ways. It begins with some basic changes that you keep doing. It is the maintenance part that is so essential, yet so hard to make a part of any self-change program.

Just as dropping too much weight too quickly may be bad for your physical health, trying to undo years of a problem lifestyle overnight may be emotionally unhealthy.

The first week in recovery many a person wants to get a job, go back to school full-time, start a new relationship, and pay off all their back bills. Early recovery is a time to focus on what bad habits you need to weed out of your life and to begin to think about what you want this new life to look like when you are done. Do you want a whole new healthier you or are you just trying to lose the weight by the time of the reunion?

It is easy to overwhelm yourself when you first start a self-change program, the result is that the whole self-improvement program goes out the window.

Make small changes and stay with them. Those small changes in your life repeated often enough result in major life improvements.

2. Not being consistent.

Self-change cannot be done on an on-again-off-again basis. Small incremental changes add up. Sudden bursts of efforts are undone by periods of inattention to your self-improvement program.

If you really want lasting change you need to exchange your habits and building new habits takes lots of repetition. You did not get the way you are overnight and it will take time to recover.

3. Are you avoiding the hard stuff?

We all like to look for shortcuts but the shortcuts do not add much to making you happier or healthier. There is no shortcut to exercise. You have to do it. Some ways of exercising may be more effective than others but they all take effort on a consistent basis.

I think of self-improvement like karma as a form of exercise. You do good things and you become a good person, you do bad things and you become a less good person. Sometimes getting to be a better person takes lots of effort.

4. Spending too much time on the fun stuff.

In any recovery program, some things are more enjoyable than others. We tend to do the things we like. But to really change yourself sometimes you need to start your routine with the hard to do things.

5. You do the wrong exercise the wrong way.

Make sure the things that you are doing in your program are truly designed to help you and that you are doing them in an effective way. Professionals can help here, so can self-help books.

Improperly done exercises result in injuries and those will need to heal. A common mistake recovering people make is to run around apologizing for your past errors and saying you are sorry. Others have heard all this before. They do not want to hear you say sorry they want to see real change. Make the changes first and it will be easier for others to accept your apologies later on.

6. You forget to breathe.

Forgetting to breathe during physical excesses undoes a lot of the benefits that come from exercise. The muscles need oxygen to function and to grow. The same thing is true of spiritual exercise. You need to slow down and breathe in the joy and pleasure that comes from doing new estimable things.

In the older self-improvement books, mental health, memory, and success were linked to physical wellness. We have lost some of that emphasis as we put pressure on children to get high test scores and take away their recesses to get those test scores up. Having a healthy body is a big help in being more mentally alert and effective.

Hopefully learning these 6 ways in which exercise will be unhelpful will aid you whether you are trying to lose weight and get in shape or you are on your way to making other changes that are a part of your recovery.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why your partner thinks you said things you know you didn’t say

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Why does your partner think you said that?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay

False Memories.

What we remember about things others say can depend on our mood.

Two men go out to dinner with their dates. Let’s call them Bob and Sam. Bob goes home sure that his date did not like him. Sam is sure his date did. The two women said exactly the same things to their dates. Why the difference?

This happens a lot. You swear you didn’t say something, your partner swears you did. Neither of you may be lying but one of you has got this conversation wrong. Why?

One cause of memory failures is false memories. They happen more often than most of us realize and they cause a lot of relationship problems. Those memories are easier to create than you might think.

Researchers have sophisticated ways of testing for false memories and the way they are created or perpetuated. In pasts posts, we talked about how drugs and alcohol can increase false memories, but your personality and that of your partner are also factors. False memories are dependent on your mood at the time you hear things. They are also affected by your normal personality and way of perceiving the world.

Info about false memories and why they occur in relationships.

A test for false memories would consist of asking you to remember a list of words. Say the list included, night, bed, pillow, nap, etc. The next time you see the researcher you read a list of words and are asked to mark which you saw the first time.

This time included in the list is a word that was not there the first time but would have fit with the category that made up that list. In this case, the missing word might have been sleep. So if you picked sleep it made sense, but in fact, the word was not there the first time. If you said that you remembered it this would be a false memory.

In our date example, we find that in both cases the woman told their date that they had an interesting tie. Bob the perennial pessimist is sure his date said he had an awful tie. Sam remembers his date as saying he had a nice tie. Sam is an optimist.

The mood, as well as the basic personality of these two men, causes them to hear the same information but they both remember things that the date did not say. What they are remembering is a form of false memory in which their mind has filled in the words needed to make sense of the comment “interesting tie.”

One way to check this out in the lab would be to leave the word “sleep” out of the retest. This time if we added two words to the list, say insomnia and restful, we could see if there was a difference in the way two people would remember that list.

Sure enough, pessimists will remember insomnia and swear it was on the first list and optimists will remember the word rest. Both are making errors in their memory. Neither is lying but they both are sure they remember things that did not happen because they learned the list of words as a category, not as a list. Then when they are retested they fill in another word that fits their version of what the category is about.

So consider that some of the things you and those around you swear were said or happen may, in fact, be false memories. How sure are you that you actually heard the things you think you heard?

Sometimes for the sake of relationships and our long-term sanity, it pays to check out with the other person what they really said or meant. That way our minds do not need to fill in missing information and there are fewer chances to create these troublesome false memories in the first place.

What is the chance that memory you are arguing about is a false memory?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Mental illness and substance abuse only strikes certain zip codes

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

The area you live in affects your mental health.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Why does mental illness only affect those on the south side of town?

Mental illness and substance abuse somehow are able to single out certain zip codes to focus its ravages on. Here in the central part of California, those zip codes are generally on the south sides of towns. I thought it was only here in my neck of the plains that serious mental health issues and the disease of addiction knew to focus its efforts on certain parts of town.

I see from another blogger’s post that there is now an outbreak of this phenomenon going on in New England. It seems that these debilitating disorders know to only strike on the south side of town (poor neighborhood) while there are never any people with mental health issues or drug addiction in those areas on the north sides of towns (Wealthy or closer to it.)

The powers that be have warned repeatedly that placing any form of treatment facility in the north end of town would only draw those people who chose to be mentally ill or addicted to those more northern areas.

Those of you who live in other regions, particularly where there are north and south-flowing rivers may find that this divide will be an east-west phenomenon. But in those situations, the disorders and the diseases still will be able to find the correct zip codes to inhabit.

People in upscale neighborhoods do have their problems. Some of them have medical issues that require daily maintenance on injectable narcotics, but they are not drug addicts. There are also those that have chemical imbalances and need frequent monitoring by their psychiatrist.

These are good normal people who have adequate insurance and can pay ready cash to private medical practitioners to have their needs met.

On the south side of town, we find those people who have lower or no incomes and as a result, they do not get chemical imbalances or need maintenance on prescription medications. These residents of the south side, singled out so it would appear solely because of their zip code, develop serious and persistent mental illnesses and addictions.

One way governmental agencies can ameliorate these geographic issues is to locate as many facilities as possible for the mentally ill in those areas

Recovery and halfway houses are frequently co-located with large sources of drugs and crime to reduce the travel time between recovery and relapse.

Given that the seriously and persistently mentally ill are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators it makes sense to avoid locating services for them in northern zip codes that would place them in wealthier, lower crime areas and to concentrate facilities for the mentally ill as close to known concentrations of prostitutes and drug dealers as possible.

This entirely logical system of locating the predators and the prey within easy reach of each other has not been universally recognized. Many seriously and persistently mentally ill continue to try to live in the wrong zip codes despite the need to make long journeys to the south side to get their treatment.

Clearly, not everyone has gotten the message that the mentally ill live only on the south side of town. Frequently misguided people from the wealthier neighborhoods present requesting services. Some mistakenly think that because they are now out of work and their insurance is curtailed that they have moved from the chemically imbalanced to the seriously and persistently mentally ill group. They need to be gently reminded there are not services for their problems as “those kinds of people” do not live in the more northern (wealthier neighborhoods.)

Despite all our efforts to sort this out, people on the north end of town continue to believe that they are addicted to something like a drug or alcohol and need treatment. The usual procedure for these misguided folk is to remind them there are no drug addicts in those zip codes and they need to seek services in the south part of town where the addicts live or preferable move and live there.

Despite the best effort on the part of the powers-that-be to keep serious and persistent mental illness and addiction out of their neighborhood, there are those residents who do not comply with the program and insist on getting ill even when they live in the wrong zip code.

As an old man once remarked, my dad was the town drunk, if we had only had more money he could have been an alcoholic like the mayor.

So much for keeping “those” kinds of people out of our neighborhood.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Want to write a post for counselorssoapbox?

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By David Joel Miller

Man writing

Writing.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Interested in writing a counselorssoapbox post?

People who have lived with and overcome a life problem have a lot to share. We refer to that sometimes as lived experience. That perspective teaches you things that you can’t always learn in other ways.

I wanted to throw an opportunity out there for those of you who read this blog. If you have something to say but haven’t found a way to say it yet, I invite you to consider writing an article for this blog. Whether you currently have a blog, or this is the one and only time you are planning to write something you are welcome.

My plan is not to change the blog to an article one, but it might be fun to share some things written by others from time to time. Frankly, this may also help me by keeping the blog going with fresh posts during those times when my other activities keep me from writing.

In all fairness, I need to tell you what sort of articles I am looking for. The main focus of this blog is and will remain on having a happy life. I strongly believe in recovery, that people do not need to stay stuck in their illness forever and that they can and do get better and go on to have happy fulfilled lives. What that means to each of you may be a quite different thing.

Many of the posts I write are about mental and emotional illnesses, substance abuse, and their co-occurrence. Some posts have been about counseling and therapy. Related to those topics are self-improvement, parenting, and relationships.

What I most would like to hear about is not the daily problems but the daily successes. If you went for counseling, what worked and what did not work. If something else was helpful, what was it and how might others make use of the resource you found?

Even if you did not have a problem that got a diagnosis but you found a way to overcome that issue I would love to hear from you.

If there was a particular book or exercise that you have done that led to your growth and learning, by all means, share that also.

Professionals are welcome to join in this opportunity. Many professionals are themselves in recovery or have had to do a lot of work on themselves to get to the point they could be helpful to others. We also find we learn a lot from our clients. So if you would like to share those lessons learns, by all means, send them along, just please be sure, as I know you are aware, not to share anything that would violate someone else’s confidentiality, privilege, or otherwise get us in trouble.

Articles for consideration should be from 500 to 1,200 words and positive or constructive in nature. As the author and editor of this blog, I reserve the right to reject anything that does not fit with what I am trying to do on this blog and to make small edits as needed. I would ask the author before making any big changes in what you write. I also reserve the right to reuse your article or quote from it in other things that I am writing.

If you send pictures, make sure they are not copyrighted or I can locate a picture to add to your article. At this point, my blog is not big enough to pay for submissions but in exchange for your contribution, I can offer you a byline.

These articles should be original, not something already posted to another blog. Most bloggers know how to reblog and we all do that from time to time but for this submit-an-article program, I am looking for new and different points of view.

Whether you have written a lot of posts or this is the one and only one you will write all submissions are welcome.

This is not something that needs to be done right away, I have posts scheduled to appear for a few weeks yet but I find those who say they want to write but never get started never get them written. If you have an idea let me know and we can plan for a future date for your post to appear.

So if the idea of being a writer whose article is featured on counselorssoapbox appeals to you or you just have a burning desire to say something contact me and let’s see if this is something that could happen.

You are of course always welcome and encouraged to leave a comment on anything that is posted even if you chose not to write a long post.

Here is hoping that you all will continue to read counselorssoapbox and that some of you will decide to write an article for the blog.

Thanks for reading,

David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

If you think fast are you crazy? Does jumping to conclusions make you delusional?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Delusions.

Delusions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

People with delusions and delusion like thinking have been linked to fast thinking.

There is a body of research that links jumping to conclusions with having delusional thinking.

This has me concerned for several reasons. I have read a number of these studies recently and while they seem to have been rigorously done, I think there are flaws in their logic. I am also concerned that if we define one reasoning pattern as “normal” and another way of thinking as “delusion” there may be implications for the way these people get treated.

There are two problems with this research. Who gets labeled delusional and how that gets measured. I am suspicious that both are biased.

Who gets called delusional?

One study reports that a constant finding in the research is that the younger you are the more “delusional” you are. Presumably, this definition of delusional has to do with looking at a set of facts and circumstances and coming up with the “wrong” answer. In these studies, the wrong or “delusional” answer was anything the researcher did not agree with.

Another group that has higher than expected rates of “delusional” diagnosis is urban residents. This is disconcerting as this century is reported to be the first time in the history of the world that the majority of people on earth now live in urban settings. From this line of reasoning moving to the city makes you delusional.

Having a lower-income, living alone, and being unemployed also result in receiving a label of delusional. Men and non-English speaking immigrants also get labeled delusional more often as do those who are never married or divorced.

One other factor that increases the likelihood of being given a designation of delusional is a history of alcohol abuse and drug abuse, especially marijuana use.

All in all, it would appear that minorities and lower socioeconomic status groups are more likely to be labeled delusional.

The tests for delusions.

Groups of research subjects were given a test to assess their thinking process and its relationship to delusions. The thing being studied is a way of thinking called “jumping to conclusions.”

For now, I will accept the tests or screening devices and focus on the connection between the “delusion-prone group” and the Jumping to conclusion experiment.

The marbles (or bead) test.

Participants in this experiment were shown two jars of beads, one jar contains 85 white beads and 15 black ones. The other jar contains 85 black beads and 15 white ones.

The researcher then hides the jars and begins drawing beads from one of the jars. They wanted to see how many beads you will need to make a decision on which jar they are coming from. They also compared the “delusion-prone group.” to an apparently normal control group.

Most psychology experiments are conducted on rats. When rats are not available the researchers use the next best thing, college undergraduate students. Most “Jumping to conclusions” experiments are conducted on college undergraduates, a group not known for its rationality.

One thing that I do not see mentioned is the significance of being right or wrong on your estimate of which jar the beds come from. This may be invalidating the whole jumping to conclusions research paradigm.

What are the advantages of being right and the disadvantages of being wrong in this experiment? Would those intangible payoffs overpower the Jumping to conclusion effects?

What if your life or the life of someone you loved depended on getting the right answer? How sure would you need to be then?

Say the first bead is white. There is an 85% chance that the jar is mostly white and a 15% chance the jar is mostly black. Let’s say, to keep the math simple, you make a hypothesis that this bead came from the white jar, are you willing to bet your life? The second bead is also white. There is now a .025 % chance two white beads in a row are coming from the black jar.  By the fourth white bead, we are down to about 4 chances out of 10,000 that these are coming from the black jar.

Now, are you willing to bet your life?

Since there is no gain to be had for risking my life in this scenario I would hold out until there have been 16 white beads drawn. This could require as many as 36 draws. At that point, all the low occurrence beads should have been drawn and whichever color has 16 has to tell me the jar. So if my life depended on it I would hold out until the very last draw needed to be absolutely certain.

What if you could win money?

What if the experimenter offered me $100 if I could guess correctly on the first bead and the amount I would win declined by half after each draw? Assume the risk of death is off the table now.

Some of us would take a shot after one draw and go for the whole $100. Some of you more cautious types would want the second bead to increase your chances even though you now get only $50. A very few of you would wait for the third bead and play it safe to improve your chances even at the risk of only getting $12.50. My guess is that how long you wait will not be anywhere near as long as if your life was at stake.

Last example.

Let’s say the money was on a table behind a door. There is a whole string of doors. But behind one door there is a hungry lion that would eat you. To see the jar in this room you need to enter the room and then find the light switch to turn on the light. If you opened the door a crack and heard a lion roar would you go ahead and go in there and see if the lion was really there? Or would you try another door?

I would slam that door fast and then open the next one a crack to see if I got the roar again even if I was not sure which door the roar had come from.

Now back to the whole jumping to conclusions test. Would a group of accounting students tend to be more conservative and wait longer to make choices? Would a group of day traders make quicker decisions?

So while making quick decisions may increase the risk of making errors and some of these errors could be seen as delusions. At some point in our human history the ability to make quick decisions could have strong advantages. If you live in a poor, crime-ridden, neighborhood today, those quick decisions could save your life.

I am a lot suspicions that the researchers have proved that those people who make quick decisions, they term it that, jumping to conclusions have established a connection between their jar of beads and delusions.

I might try to guess after the first draw just to try to beat their game and they being more conservative and needing lots of evidence before they can conclude anything, would wait as long as possible before concluding anything.

More to come on delusions and how they may be affecting your life.

But the take away from all this, I remain unconvinced that making quick decisions even when you will make more wrong things is a bad thing or that we should call this delusional. Creative people try more things, some of these efforts work out and some do not. That does not equal delusional or mentally ill in my book.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Did psychology and psychiatry get a divorce- or are they just separated

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Divorce.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Why talking about mental health, mental illness and personality are so confusing.

Psychology and mental health treatment started out in a pretty close intimate relationship. Over the years the two disciplines have drifted apart.

Freud and Jung started us on the path to using talk therapy to help people overcome life problems and to treat mental illnesses.

The longer we have been on this path the more the disciplines of psychology and mental health have diverged. Today it seems that they are not even talking as we use very different language to describe the same or similar situations.

One place this results in confusion is when people tell their mental health practitioner about a symptom using psychology terms to describe what they are going through. One definition of Psychology is an academic and applied discipline that involves the scientific study of mental functions and behaviors.

This is quite different from the study of mental illness through the two may at times overlap. Both fields are struggling with finding and measuring mental wellness.

Psychiatry is mostly about diagnosing an illness.

In this way of thinking, you are sick or you are not. Some of this distinction comes from the ongoing division between categorical approaches, you have A or you do not have A, and continuum methods in which you move from mild symptoms to more severe symptoms and at some point, they get severe enough to need treatment.

Psychology talks a lot about how your brain works and how people make decisions. So one group of practitioners gives you one label and another gives you a different one. They aren’t even talking about the same things.

I see things in posts about being an ENTJ or similar designation. This comes from psychology’s effort to classify people’s basic personality. You will not find these designations in the DSM-5 which the mental health community uses to diagnose an illness. This results in some extreme frustration on the part of clients when we say there is nothing wrong with them and they know they are suffering.

An example.

You say you are shy. There is nothing called shyness in the DSM, therefore you are not mentally ill.  You say “but you don’t understand, I am very very shy.” Sorry, that is not a mental illness and your insurance company or the public system will not pay to treat your personality. They also do not pay for personal development or growth experiences. You need to be sick to get treated.

You say but I am so shy I can’t leave my house to work. I am afraid of being around people and I can’t see my friends anymore. My shyness is keeping me a prisoner in my own home. Your clinician says sorry, shy is not a mental illness we can’t treat that.

WAIT A MINUTE – Did you say you can’t leave the house? That could be Agoraphobia. You can’t be around people – could that be Social Phobia? While we can’t treat shy we can treat Agoraphobia or Social anxiety disorders.

See how the difference in terminology can cause problems?

Hyperthymic vs. Bipolar.

This came up in my series of posts on Hyperthymia. In mental health, you have Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Bipolar NOS, or Cyclothymia. Hyperthymia is a personality type, not a mental illness so we don’t treat personality types.  We consider most types of personality as just the way you are. So until it gets severe and we can give you a diagnosis this is not an illness and this is, from our viewpoint not serious.

Personality “Disorders” are whole other creature, again only loosely related to these personality types people learn in psychology classes.

In past posts, I have talked about the research on Hypothermia. Most of this is academic research and they see hypothermia as on a continuum. You could have varying levels of Hyperthymia. Some Hyperthymia is severe and needs treatment in their book. But since it is not in the DSM we therapists types look at this as one of those “just how you are” things. We don’t treat it until it gets severe enough to be reclassified as a disorder on the Bipolar spectrum. Once we call it something else it gets treated.

In upcoming posts, I want to talk about Delusions. For mental health practitioners delusions are symptoms of a relatively few mental illnesses. For the psychology researchers there are delusions and delusion-like experiences and so on. Since we have varying definitions and criteria this material may take a little translating. Hence I have tried to explain in this post why the various sorts of similar professions may not agree about what the research says and means.

Until next time stay happy or on your path to happiness and let’s see where this adventure we call recovery may take us.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Every day is April Fools’ Day when you are fooling yourself

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Fool.

Fool.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Do you know what is real and what is a hoax?

Today is April First. In many places, people will be celebrating April Fools’ Day. This day is dedicated to a whole lot of fun practical jokes and good times. Not everyone should be laughing.

The challenge in life is to tell the difference between the truth and things that are not true, regardless of the label we choose to put on those less-than-true thoughts and comments. Today you may be able to get away with some untruths if you can tell the difference, but not every day.

The falsehoods told today in the course of the April Fools’ Day festivities are in the medieval tradition when Fools were jokesters, comedians, and the like. When we know things are exaggerated and overblown they can be laughable and a bit of silly fun. Not all untruths are innocent.

The most dangerous type of lies is the kind we tell ourselves. People in recovery, from whatever they chose to call their problem, may find that they have been telling lies, giving people stories, so much they have begun to believe their own dishonesty. Substance abusers, required to be dishonest to continue their addiction are at special risk to have stopped seeing the distinction between the true and the false in their own minds.

If you have been telling yourself things that are not true and have started to believe those stories they can be a huge obstacle to overcome on your road to recovery.

People in recovery need to stop worrying about who they told what and begin to get honest with themselves. The most important person to tell the truth to is you.

Some recovering people have been told a lot of things that were not true. Those lies create a lot of pain and sometimes separating the true from the false can be a chore. When the addict starts to get honest the others around them are at risk to become confused about what is true and what is false.

Some people have families who have kept deep dark secrets. Those families can’t stand, to tell the truth. They pressure the other family members to deny things happened and to continue to rely on the make-believe family tale

Lie, falsehoods, and the like are not the only untrue information that takes up residence in our heads. False memories and beliefs, delusions, and hallucinations are also traps for the unwary.

There are technical distinctions between hallucinations and things that are really there. There is a realm of in-between things that the profession has to call in or out. Did you really see that or were you hallucinating? There are reports of things that look like a hallucination but are not.

People with addiction and mental illness may have seen and experienced things that other people tell you never happened.

Sometimes we see something and we decide what that means. If we are correct in our apprised that is all well and good. But what if you are mistaken in what you think this means or what has happened? We might call these false beliefs or even delusions.

It is likely that we can tell when someone else around us is delusional but can you tell when you are delusional? Are there things that kind of look like delusions but are not?

So while walking the road to recovery we need to take a look at hallucinations, false memories, and delusions and try to find ways to understand why our own mind may trick us into believing things that just are not so.

This whole area of what is true what is false and what you think you know is a lot confusing. In some posts over this month I want to explore delusions, hallucinations both true and pseudo, and some other aspects of getting honest with ourselves. Since psychologists and therapists call some of these phenomena by different names and understand it differently I want to start by looking at how these two professions get such different answers and then proceed to some thoughts about why your brain and our survival may have benefited at times from believing things that turn out to not be true.

Stay tuned for more on the subject of the real and the false, truth, and lies over the coming month. These posts will be interspersed with some other topics as they come up so as not to put all the readers to sleep at the same time.

Have a great day fooling around and we will return to the search for reality and recovery tomorrow.

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Happy Happy Day

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Happy faces

Happiness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Happy Happy Day.

This day should especially be devoted to being happy. My longtime readers know that the basic premise of my blog has been that despite the challenges of mental illness and substance abuse, sometimes both, it is possible to recover and to have a happy life.

It is not my intention to take sides in any particular religious disagreement, but many of you, of the Christian persuasion, are today celebrating Easter Sunday. This day is particularly different from other holidays on our calendar.

This day is connected to the lunar calendar and to the older Jewish tradition of celebrating Passover. The result is that rather than falling on the same date each year it can move about the calendar dramatically. It is also celebrated on different dates depending on your particular religious tradition.

Some writers also connect this day with older pre-Christian (pagan) celebrations. In this year of 2013, the Spring or March equinox falls on 3/20 followed by the March Solstice on March 21. It is said that in ancient times our forbearers celebrated the point in the spring when the days became longer than the nights and there was ample evidence that the sun was not deserting us. This time period reaffirms the continuance of life here on planet earth.

The use of the term March Equinox has begun to be used more commonly to avoid or reduce our all too common northern hemisphere biases.

Whatever your tradition or beliefs this time period is a chance to celebrate one more transition in our planet’s life cycle as we move in the northern hemisphere to more hours of daylight, from the long periods of darkness.

Those of you south of the equator, you are now moving into winter and an increase in the nighttime. Get plenty of rest.

However, you chose to interpret this day it remains a confirmation of the continued life here on our planet. The cycles of our seasons continue and so do the cycles of our lives.

Today is a good day to savor what has been positive in our lives and to plan for a more positive next cycle in our existence.

So here is wishing you a happy whatever this day means to you. For those of you who take no special note of this day may I make a suggestion to spend some time at this point in the change of season’s reflecting on what your higher power means to you? Consider also how you will move yourself towards happiness and help move our planet as a whole to the place where all people are able to continue their pursuit of happiness.

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

counselorssoapbox.com most read posts – March 2013

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Counselorssoapbox.com

counselorssoapbox.com most-read posts March 2013

By David Joel Miller.

Here are the most-read posts here at counselorssoapbox.com  for the month of March 2013.

How much should you tell a therapist? 

Is nicotine a stimulant or a depressant?

What is the difference between Depression and Major Depressive Disorder?

Do people really forget what happened when drinking? – Blackouts

Levels or types of Borderline Personality Disorder  

Which border is Borderline Intellectual Functioning on?    

Why can’t we forget the painful past?

Do therapists have to report a crime?

6 ways to recover from Complex Trauma or Complex PTSD   

Are you Hyperthymic?

Thanks to all of you who have read a post, become a follower, and especially an extra helping of thanks to those who have left a like or comment.

Thanks again.

David Joel Miller

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Do the mentally ill go to jail? Should they?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

To the mentally ill go to jail?
Picture courtesy of Pixabay

Why do so many mentally ill people end up in jail?

Mentally ill people are not supposed to end up in jail simply because they are mentally ill. Unfortunately, our jails and prisons are clogging up with the mentally ill because our systems can’t always find appropriate housing and treatment options.

At this point, I need to point out that we are finding more and more that there are NOT two distinct groups – the mentally ill and the “Normal People.”  People with mental illness can have episodes where they get better or worse. Some mentally ill do recovery. There are also a lot of people who look normal for most of their life and then something happens that they can’t cope with and they find themselves in the mentally ill group.

The person who finds out their partner is cheating may “flip out.” And show up at that worksite with a gun. Before they found out about the affair they were apparently normal people but once they start shooting up the workplace they get reclassified as “mentally ill.” In that respect, people with long-term mental illnesses get a bad rap. The chronically mentally ill are more likely to be victimized than to attack others. They are also way more likely to get murdered than to kill anyone.

There are three principal reasons that law enforcement comes in contact with the mentally ill.

1. The person is thinking of harming themselves or they are so disabled they can’t care for themselves.

While completing suicide is illegal in most places, the person who has tried to kill themselves really does not belong in jail.

Most places have a system called involuntary commitment that allows this person to be placed in a mental hospital BRIEFLY for observation and treatment. Unfortunately, once they stop wanting to kill themselves they get released. We can offer services but it is difficult to impossible to make that person stay in treatment for any length of time.

Additionally, in far too many places there is a shortage of resources for these people and often waiting times to access services.

Just because the person is suicidal does not make this an easy situation for first responders. The suicidal person may harm a bystander in their efforts to end their life, especially if authorities try to stop this attempt. There is also the risk that they will threaten law enforcement, resulting in the increasingly more common “suicide-by-cop.”

2. They are doing something illegal or causing someone a problem.

Police encounter the mentally ill in all sorts of situations. They try to sleep in people’s yards and use their water. Unfortunately, there are a whole lot of mentally ill that have ended up homeless. Add together the distortions in thinking that come from their disorder and the life skills homeless people need to develop to get by and they come into conflict with authority a lot.

When the mentally ill get too loud, don’t move along when told to do so, or act hostile and scare someone, the police get called. Usually, after a confrontation, the only alternative is to take them in.

Even if the police would prefer to not keep this person many communities just have no other place to house them. So minor lawbreakers, vagrants, petty shoplifters, and the like, with mental illnesses, end up in jail for a period of time.

Sheriffs from two of our larger American cities have been quoted recently as saying they are now the largest residential housing facility for the mentally ill in their state. There just is no place to put many of these folks.

3. They are under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

Anyone who does drugs and alcohol to excess can have a problem. The mentally ill are at high risk to abuse substances. In our American culture, those without a diagnosed mental illness are also at high risk to abuse substances.

There is a huge overlap between mental illness and substance abuse. Some mentally ill use alcohol or drugs to mask their symptoms while others started out drinking and drugging and now have developed symptoms of a mental health disorder as a result of their substance abuse.

It is also worth noting that a whole lot of people are in jail for drug and alcohol-related offenses. Those who are fortunate enough to end up in rehab programs are often found to have a mental or emotional disorder.

Incarcerating people in jails has not been working to reduce either mental illness or substance abuse. More treatment options are desperately needed.

Shockingly the most common response from the politicians and the general public is to get tough on all these people and lock them up. The proponents of more incarceration hold that view until they or someone in their family ends up in jail or prison and then they ask why there were not more treatment options available earlier.

Related articles

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel